Ongoing Bully Behavior

[daycare]

Does saying 'use you words' actually do anything? I don't think it's helping anything. I mean you say to the boy, "you can use your words" and does he know what words to use? I think you need to say the words to him. Something like: "You didn't like brother taking that toy. Tell him, 'don't take my toy, bother. I'm using that'" Also I would tell brother, "You don't take what you want without asking, even if he has a lot. You can ask, 'Can I play with this' and if little brother says no, you can ask him if you can play with it when he's done". Instead of telling him what not to do (scream), you are trying to tell him what to do which is great but it isn't specific enough. Also, still wondering what circle time entails and if it can be dropped or if he can be allowed not to do it.

All of that was said and demonstrated for them.

[spedmommy4]

All of that was said and demonstrated for them.

How long? With my little guy, it took a good four or five weeks of all of us doing it day after day. (Here and and home) I know dcm was modeling at home; I don't think she was near as consistent as we are here.

I know it also helped for us to have him try the interaction again. (appropriately) The dcb here really needed to learn that it was possible to get another child's attention (or a toy) in a positive way.

It was exasperating though. I work with tough kids for a living and this little guy tired me out.

[Thriftylady]

I think if DCM is letting him get by with it at home (which if she did it in front of you, we know she is), that you can't win in this situation. It is time to let this one go. IF mom was helping instead of making it worse, I might say give it some time.

[spedmommy4]

I almost forgot, we used this too. When he got angry or aggressive, he could pull out his tool box. These are things that helped this little boy calm down.