battered Women's shelter next door?

[Sunchimes]

My neighbor is trying to sell her house. It's in really bad shape and it is going to be a difficult sell. She told me a few weeks ago that a local mega-church had asked her to donate it for them to operate as a battered women's shelter. She declined to donate it.

Yesterday, she said that a man from the church was coming by to look at it and buy it for the shelter. I had a panic moment, then I thought that I might as well say what was on my mind. I told her that I objected and would try to stop it, and that I didn't think it would be allowed to open next to a daycare. She crawfished then and said, "Oh no, that's not what I meant. He's from the same church that wanted me to donate it. He is going to buy it, fix it up, and sell it." My thought? He's buying it for the church to make into a shelter or he will buy it and resell it to the church for a shelter.

I'm wondering if anyone is aware of laws (I know each state is different, but at least it gives me some guidelines) that would prohibit opening a shelter next door to my family daycare. This is such a bad idea. We live in a very small town. This house sits on the main street in town, half the people in town drive by here at least once a day. How long do they think it will take an abuser to figure out where this is and do something? The news will be all over town before they open the doors. It seems to me that a shelter should at least be off on a quiet, off-the-main-drag street.

So, if this comes to pass, do you think I have a legal leg to stand on to stop it? I just termed one of my favorite families because Mom's ex-boyfriend was stalking and threatening her and decided that my house was the best place to park and scare her. I do not want this happening in my yard again.

[bklsmum]

It would probably depend on your state but I am not sure you have any standing to object to the sale.

[Thriftylady]

Honesty, having been in a battered women's shelter myself I wouldn't have an objection to it. But what I can't believe is that they would say that. Generally they keep the locations of these houses top secret, and often won't even give the police department the address, and state it is a shelter. Also very often, there is a privacy fence put up around them. They are staffed by trained staff/volunteers 24/7 and have safety pans in place for any given situation. They have strict rules for the residents, and if you break them, you are kicked out. I would much rather have a shelter next door than a child molester, who can also move in next door if he chooses in most places.

[Sunchimes]

I just want to say that I am thrilled that the talk of a shelter has revived. I actually helped when the subject came up a decade ago. It is much needed. But not in a historic district/residential neighborhood on one of the busiest streets in town. We are a town of 8000 people. A person can't even sneeze without half the town saying "Bless you.". There is no way to keep it secret. Seems like a risky location for all of us. I just think it is a very bad idea. I know this sounds very NIMBY, and it is I guess. But were we on a quiet street with enough space for parking and security...and no daycare, I wouldn't be concerned. And after having to term a good family over a former partner making threats against mom and the kids, then hanging around near my house to intimidate her, I may be sensitive to the issue.

No child molester will move in next door to me if he is registered. I recently had the probation officer in charge of sex offenders come to my house to verify I was a daycare. One of her clients wanted to move in around the corner. She had heard I was a daycare, (again, small town) and wanted to be sure before she denied it. She said she had my back in the future.::

[DaveA]

Like PP said it depends on the state, but I doubt you have much grounds to object. That would be a question for a local attorney, but you probably don't have standing to stop it. Personally I wouldn't have a concern about it.

From a practical standpoint even if you go to local government I doubt you would get much support. No local politician is going to want to be on record opposing a DV shelter. And like you said- small town. It will come across as NIMBY regardless of you concerns or intentions. If (more like when) it got out you were instrumental in stopping a shelter for victims, it has the potential to really put some heat on you personally and professionally. IMHO- you're overreacting and making a mountain out of a molehill. If they don't do it you have nothing to worry about. If they do just be a good neighbor and let it go. Not trying to pounce- just can't think of a more tactful way of saying it.

[Sunchimes]

I'm not against the shelter. I just think putting it on the main street in town is a very poor choice There is no way the location will be a secret for more than a few hours. There is enough parking for 3 cars at most.

I spent most of the summer dealing with a dcm's stalker, and combined with my years in law enforcement, I just can not accept this as a good thing. If they put it on a nice quiet, out of the way street, I would be a huge supporter. I was a huge supporter when the subject of a shelter came up years ago. I'm not against the shelter, I'm against this plan. And for the record, I would be against this location even if I lived miles away. It is a disaster waiting to happen.

I don't consider it pouncing. I don't care if people get upset with me. Won't be the first time. And I'm pretty sure that parents will be more upset when they come to pick up or drop off and a stalker is making a scene, or there are repeated visits from the police. That's what is going to hurt me. If I had a spare $25K, I'd buy it myself and live there. It has the potential to be a really amazing house.

But I think I can see that there are probably no ordinances about being located next to a daycare. I know that there are some things that can't be put next to us. I was hoping this was one of them.