Behavioral Policy

[Lorna]

I am going through my manual and updating my behavioral policy. Right now
I just have this section in the manual.

Touch and Discipline

Discipline is achieved through consistency and firmness. Respect for others and respect for property are encouraged. The children are explained the rules of the house frequently, so they are familiar with guidelines.

Please keep in mind that there will be disagreements between children. Young children, especially, who are adapt at communication, have a hard time expressing their feelings and maybe sometimes act out by hitting or throwing toys. Although I will be teaching appropriate behaviour remember that this behaviour is normal in most cases.

The following methods of discipline will be used:
-Encouraging children to solve problems themselves
-Intervention and discussion
-redirection to another play area
-Loss of privileges
-Time-outs
All the above would be different for different ages and developmental ages.

Should a chronic behaviour issue (such as biting or continual hitting) arise I will notify you so that a child's discipline continues between childcare and parents homes. We will work together to correct the behaviour.

Under no circumstances will there be any spanking , physical abuse, verbal abuse, name calling or isolation used. Neither food nor sleep will ever be withheld from children as means of punishment.

I don't think this says enough. I am having issues with children that are requiring more attention than I can possibly provide in a home setting with just me. Need a way to address that.

Anyone care to share their behavioral policy? Do you address hitting, biting, tantrums in your policy?

[MarinaVanessa]

I address it. For me the discipline part is it's own short chapter in my handbook. It's long but I will post the whole section, I'm sure that it'll give you ideas. Here's what my whole discipline section says:

Discipline & Guidance

Child Care Rules
The following rules are to be followed by everyone at the daycare:
 Helping Hands
 Listening Ears
 Respectful Words
 Looking Eyes
 Walking Feet

Basis of Rules
There are three principals that the daycare rules are based on:
 You may not hurt yourself
 You may not hurt others
 You may not hurt things

I will teach all of the children that we use our hands constructively to help each other and to use gentle touches. We listen to each other and respect personal space. We speak respectfully to one another and ask politely for things. We pay attention to our surroundings and to the childcare provider. And finally our feet are used for walking indoors, running is for the outdoors.

I believe in positive guidance related to acceptable standards of behavior and courtesy.

I will serve as a positive role model and offer acceptable alternatives for resolving conflicts.

Please keep in mind that that there will be disagreements between children. Young children who are not adept at communication have a hard time expressing their feelings.

Sometimes they hit, pinch, bite or throw toys etc. This is normal behavior in most cases; however this is still unacceptable behavior in group care.

Guidance (Discipline) Plan
To guide a child I will implement developmentally appropriate practices such as:
 Positive reinforcement
 Active listening
 Forestalling
 Redirection
 Reflection

Strategies that engage children in their own problem solving will be highlighted.

Children will be encouraged to use their words and express their feelings rather than use physical contact.

Discipline will be:
 Individualized and consistent for each child
 Appropriate to the child's level of understanding
 Directed toward teaching the child acceptable behavior & self-control

Helping Hands Childcare and all staff members will use only positive methods of discipline and guidance that encourage self-esteem, self-control, and self-direction, which includes at least the following:
 Using praise and encouragement of good behavior instead of focusing only upon unacceptable behavior
 Reminding a child of behavior expectations daily by using clear, positive statements
 Redirection of negative behavior using positive statements
 Using brief supervised separation or time out from the group, when appropriate for the child's age and development

There will be NO harsh, cruel, or unusual treatment of any child.
The following types of discipline are prohibited:
 Corporal punishment or threats of corporal punishment
 Punishment associated with food, naps or toilet training
 Pinching, shaking or biting the child
 Hitting the child with a hand or instrument
 Putting anything in or on a child's mouth
 Humiliating, ridiculing, rejecting, or yelling at a child
 Subjecting a child to harsh, abusive, or profane language
 Placing a child in a locked or dark room, bathroom, or closet with the door closed
 Requiring the child to remain silent or inactive for inappropriately long periods of time for the child's age

Repeated Challenging Behavior
If challenging behavior becomes a consistent problem, the parent will be notified of the situation and a written plan of action will be created.

If the child remains unruly, the parent may be called to remove the child for the remainder of the day.

Please understand that the provider is responsible for the safety and well-being of ALL children present and at no time will one child's behavior be allowed to be a risk to others.

If the problem continues without any improvement or cannot be resolved within a reasonable amount of time then arrangements may need to be made for the child to receive care elsewhere.

Verbal Altercations
If a child is involved in a verbal altercation with another child, both children will be encouraged to use their words and express their feelings and frustrations until a mutual resolution if reached. If necessary, both children will be re-directed.

Physical Altercations
When a child physically hurts another person it is upsetting to all involved including the other children and the provider. Children who are aggressive are more likely to be rejected as playmates and will often continue to have problems getting along as they get older. Therefore, it is important to work with the child and to teach acceptable behavior as early as possible.

It is not unusual for young children to push, hit or grab to get attention. They have not yet developed the skills to make their needs known. Children with limited motor control, verbal and social skills are more likely to experience frustration and may resort to physical means. Other reasons that may contribute to a child acting out may include boredom, over stimulation, tiredness, illness, hunger, transitions and major changes in the child’s life that may cause stress (new sibling, new home, parent separation etc.). With consistent messages from adults at home and at daycare, young children will learn the skills they need to solve problems without hurting others.

If a child is involved in a physical altercation an opportunity for the children to verbally express themselves will be made and they will be asked to reach a consensus.

Clear limits will be set and the offending child will be told, “you are not allowed to hurt another child here, this is a safe place and I can’t let you hurt others”. A younger child with limited language skills will be told “no hit” or “no hurt”.

The childcare provider will try to help the child understand how the hurt child feels by discussing empathy. Both children will then be redirected to different activities.

Biting
Biting causes more upset feelings than any other behavior in childcare programs. It is important for the childcare provider and parents to address this behavior when it occurs. Children may bite for many reasons therefore a child that has shown the desire to bite will be watched carefully to try and determine any “triggers”.

When a child bites (or intends to bite) another child the childcare provider will quickly but calmly intervene. The childcare provider will briefly talk to the offending child about how biting is not acceptable. For a child with limited language the child will simply be told “No bite”.

If the skin is broken, the wound will be washed with mild soap and water, bandaged and then an ice pack will be applied to prevent swelling. The parents of both children will be notified of the events.

A plan of action will be created with the parents of the child that bit on how to prevent and handle future biting. If biting continues, a meeting with the parents of the aggressor will be held to plan a more concentrated plan of action with a deadline. The child who bit will be closely “shadowed”.

When the child bites, the child will be removed from the area or activity where the bite took place and the child will be redirected to another activity.

If a child still continues to bite or does not seem affected by the consequences, the child may need an environment with fewer children or one with more one-on-one adult attention and may need to change childcare.

Damages
Please respect me, my profession, my home and my family. A certain amount of normal wear and tear is expected where children are concerned however certain situations do not fall into that category.

Intentional Damages
I believe children, just as adults, are responsible for their actions and we teach them to respect other people’s property. If a child intentionally damages the home, toys, furnishings, equipment, or other property the parent will be responsible for paying for and replacing the damaged item(s).

[CalCare]

From a parent's and childcare provider's perspective, "touch and discipline" sounds a bit strange- touch isn't mentioned at any other time in the info. Also you mention children being adept at communicating but then they hit. That doesn't make sense because adept means they are good at it. Also you say they are learning to communicate, but at the same time you are saying they hit or throw toys because they are acting out (not because they are trying to communicate). Can I suggest an outline?

Guidance Policy
-Your beliefs about why children need guidance at times (learning to communicate, learning to share space and materials, learning to respect and care for others)

-Your beliefs about what is appropriate guidance (you don't hit, shame, etc. you believe in using a variety of methods depending on the specific child and the specific situation ie: your list of methods)

-What you do to communicate guidance actions taken (You will always inform parents when there has been a guidance action taken in regards to more extreme behaviors including, but not limited to biting, hitting, and throwing)

-What you do when the standard methods aren't helping a child (work with parents, create a plan with parents, terminate care if director decides the situation is unsafe for other children).

Does this help at all?

[Lorna]

Definitely have no problems with suggestions. Great thank you. I started my daycare when my friend stopped hers. She gave me her manual to use. I have been changing it over the years to work for me. As a parent I really never thought I would have parents that don't parent their kids that I would have to spell things out for like this. But I find the policies just make it easier to refer straight to. Otherwise parents are arguing with me.

[Ariana]

To be honest I keep my behavioral section as vague and brief as possible. I share my childcare "philosophy" which states that all children need to be respectful and responsible. I do this so that I can deal with any situation that comes up in a way that I see fit without having to answer to my contract. I address specific questions about behaviors during the interview and on an ongoing basis with parents. I also keep it vague so that I can term whenever I want to without explanation about a behavior.

[CalCare]

Well, you probably wouldn't attach any of this to the actual contract, right? Just in a handbook separate from the contract?

[childcaremom]

To be honest I keep my behavioral section as vague and brief as possible. I share my childcare "philosophy" which states that all children need to be respectful and responsible. I do this so that I can deal with any situation that comes up in a way that I see fit without having to answer to my contract. I address specific questions about behaviors during the interview and on an ongoing basis with parents. I also keep it vague so that I can term whenever I want to without explanation about a behavior.

This is what I do as well.

[Lorna]

Well, you probably wouldn't attach any of this to the actual contract, right? Just in a handbook separate from the contract?

Yes manual. Separate from the contract. Just thinking if it's spelt out than when there is issues I can refer them back to the manual.

[Play Care]

To be honest I keep my behavioral section as vague and brief as possible. I share my childcare "philosophy" which states that all children need to be respectful and responsible. I do this so that I can deal with any situation that comes up in a way that I see fit without having to answer to my contract. I address specific questions about behaviors during the interview and on an ongoing basis with parents. I also keep it vague so that I can term whenever I want to without explanation about a behavior.

For instance, I realize "Time out" has fallen out of fashion. And generally I agree that there are better ways to teach a child. Buuuut, I have one almost 3 yo boy right now that TO's work well with re-setting him. I'd hate to have it so mom comes back and says "but you said you didn't do time out!"

[childcaremom]

For instance, I realize "Time out" has fallen out of fashion. And generally I agree that there are better ways to teach a child. Buuuut, I have one almost 3 yo boy right now that TO's work well with re-setting him. I'd hate to have it so mom comes back and says "but you said you didn't do time out!"

Agree. I discuss this type of thing with parents during interviews. I tell them that I don't take time outs off the table but generally don't find them to be effective in a group setting. I prefer to do xy and z. Having said that, some times they are effective for particular children but I prefer to do ..... insert your method here.

This is not in my handbook. It's just part of the discussion during interviews.

I find giving examples of how I would handle certain issues is helpful for parents to understand how I would deal with things when they come up. Again, all during the interview.

My actual blurb in my handbook is about 1/3 of a page and my handbook is 20 pages long.

[MarinaVanessa]

For instance, I realize "Time out" has fallen out of fashion. And generally I agree that there are better ways to teach a child. Buuuut, I have one almost 3 yo boy right now that TO's work well with re-setting him. I'd hate to have it so mom comes back and says "but you said you didn't do time out!"

The difference between time-out and reflection (from what I have seen when schools and daycare centers use it in practice and from workshops) is only in the approach.

I just do what the school does and don't call it "Time-Out", the school (and other daycare centers) call it "reflection" and the time-out place is called the "thinking chair" or something else non-threatening . It's used a little bit differently but still pretty much it's similar like a time out. I make my "thinking chair" area very comfy (it's not a hard chair or step) so I have a kids size over-sized rocking chair with good padding and it's separate from pretty much everything else. If they cry for attention or because they wanted something they can't have I allow them to cry and for as long as they want but they can only do it in that chair and I let them have their "me" time and don't give them any attention. If they break a rule repeatedly, misuse toys (throw them, hit someone with one, take them from someone etc.) then lose the toy privilege, get separated from the group and they sit in the thinking chair for "reflection time".

My own kids and the DCK's don't even see it as a bad place and sometimes when they are overstimulated, overtired and emotional they announce that they are going to the "thinking chair" to be alone. The rule is that when someone is in the thinking chair they can't be bothered so the kids get "me" time and no attention.

Parents don't have an issue when it's approached this way because I explain that here there are choices and consequences for everything. Make positive choices (play nicely), get positive consequences (play with the toys). Make negative choices (throw toys), get negative consequences (have to play with a different toy). In essence it's still like time-out it's just approached differently and the wording you use with the kids is different.

Time-out: "Johnny you threw the toy at Suzie, go sit in the chair"
Thinking chair: :Johnny you threw the toy at Suzie and you hurt her. I can't let you hurt anyone. I need you to go to the thinking chair. When you are ready to play nicely and join the group again let me know."

There is no time limit on a thinking chair. The child decides when they are ready to rejoin the group and follow the rules. Before rejoining the group they need to tell me they are ready and I will briefly remind them of what they did and the appropriate way to behave.

Almost the same thing but kinda not, funny thing is (at least for me) it works better like this than regular time out.