eating issues

[mamamanda]

I have a dcg who is 21 mo old. She begs for food constantly. I do not feed her in between meal times. She tells me she is hungry and wants to eat all day long. If I enter the kitchen for any reason she stands at the gate and cries. I can't enter to get a drink of water, refill a coffee, or anything without the hysterics. She sobs and screams "I eat!" repeatedly. If I feed the kids and she says she's done so I move her to the play area and then sit down with my food, the very same food she finished less than five minutes before, she again cries and screams "I hungry too! I eat!"

She may have a full plate of food, but if someone has ate their food and I give them seconds of something, even the same thing she has on her plate, she again screams that she wants more too. It's like she's terrified someone will get something that she doesn't. And she always picks one food to ask for repeatedly, but refuses to eat her veggies.
I know that mom and dad push the veggies and are very into real food and organic so that's not the issue.

Yesterday she kept asking for more watermelon, but hadn't ate her spaghetti or her corn so I told her to eat what was on her plate. She again asked and I said no. Then she began yelling at me very loudlyto get her some watermelon. I used a louder than normal firm voice and said her name which got her attention and stopped the yelling. Then I said, "You may eat what is on your plate or you may get down and be done, but I do NOT appreciate being yelled at." She said, "Oh." then looked down and ate her plate of food.

So basically, I'm just wondering, is she old enough to get this? If I am just consistent and firm will she figure out that she has to eat her food on her own plate before getting more? Or is she too young to comprehend? I just keep wondering if she gets it and is playing me, or if she really does feel like I'm being unfair and giving someone else more than her. What would you do?

[laundrymom]

I would think so.
Here I fill their plates, call them to the table, and give seconds when they have eaten what they were served the first time. I do not require them to eat but I only serve seconds on things if they've finished their first plate. I used to have "the fruit boy" "the carb girl" "the protein devourerer"
Now I have great eaters as a group.
I figure if they are starving, they will eat what's offered and if they want more after that I allow them to have seconds.

[auntymimi]

Is she fairly new and/or part time? I had one like this who was allowed to eat whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, wherever she wanted. Imagine her surprise that we eat meals and snacks only at meal or snack time, and only at the table. She was also allowed to drag a sippy full of candy liquid of choice everywhere. Not here. Wanted TV constantly. She also only came about 2 a week. It was rough, . Lots of reminding about rules and making good use of the cry chair. Eventually she started coming around, but cps intervened (apparently there were other issues with mom I was unaware of) and now she lives with grandma in another county. Sometimes that part of the job really gets to me. You try so hard to get these kids adjusted and then they pull, get termed, move, or loose assitance and go with someone closer to free. Sigh.

[daycarediva]

She's absolutely old enough to learn new rules and routines. I serve meals, they get seconds when they are finished with first (unless it's a true dislike and/or they have tried a no thank you bite of the entree). Veggies are handed out as they finish them. I never say no to more veggies.

Sounds like she is allowed to graze. Those kids take a bit to come around to meal times, allowing their bodies to feel actual hunger/thirst.

Just keep being consistent and she will come around.

I have one who eats standing up (she does everything standing up- is NEVER required to sit). She's 22 months. She gets an 'ah ah ah, if you get out of your chair, your lunch is all done.'. I had to do it twice, and she now knows I'm serious and remains seated for meals.