Son Speaking Inappropriately, Please Help

[Unregistered]

I know im not a forum member here, but i really need some help/advice-

My oldest son is turning 4 in about a month, and for the last two/three weeks he has been speaking inappropriately about body parts. He say stuff like, "daddy i see peepee" or "daddy i see boobies" and then will finish it with "i said potty words and im sorry"

I dont really know where this is coming from but it concerns me as he will be starting school next year and i don't want him to be talking like that to his peers and teachers. He also swears from time to time when he gets very upset or angry (he has heard his mother and i cuss before)

If anybody can help that would be great because i just dont know what to do anymore

-kyle

[Ariana]

My advice is to start talking to him about body parts. Get a book, there are lots available at either the library or the book store. The one I bought for my daughter was called "It's not the Stork", they have a whole line of books for 4 years and up that covers this type of thing. It is clear to me that he wants to talk about it and body parts in my opinion are not "potty words" and it is certainly not inappropriate!! Treating them like they are bad words makes it even more attractive to him to use them. Not reacting to it is key I think...same goes with the cussing. Sounds like he is just curious about the world. Treat it the same as if he was asking about a tree.

"daddy I see boobies"
"well son they are called breasts and yes women and mommies have them but men do not...do you have a question you'd like to ask about them?"

Then when he gets angry and swears just ignore the swear word and say something like "I can see you are angry but maybe we can find a better word to use" and you and mom both need to watch your language in front of him.

[Unregistered]

My advice is to start talking to him about body parts. Get a book, there are lots available at either the library or the book store. The one I bought for my daughter was called "It's not the Stork", they have a whole line of books for 4 years and up that covers this type of thing. It is clear to me that he wants to talk about it and body parts in my opinion are not "potty words" and it is certainly not inappropriate!! Treating them like they are bad words makes it even more attractive to him to use them. Not reacting to it is key I think...same goes with the cussing. Sounds like he is just curious about the world. Treat it the same as if he was asking about a tree.

"daddy I see boobies"
"well son they are called breasts and yes women and mommies have them but men do not...do you have a question you'd like to ask about them?"

Then when he gets angry and swears just ignore the swear word and say something like "I can see you are angry but maybe we can find a better word to use" and you and mom both need to watch your language in front of him.

Thank you for the response, i know body parts aren't inappropriate words, it's the context that my son is putting it in that i feel is inappropriate. He will randomly come up to me and say something along the lines of my previous quotes, and as you said he definitely feeds into me getting upset about it. Before i had children I was never around children, so parenting is a new experience every day, while my wife is a natural. My father was extremely strict with me and sometimes i can see myself being the same way, which is not what i want

[Ariana]

Parenting will test you in ways you can never prepare for! We all fail sometimes so don't be too hard on yourself. I think it is great that you want to be a better father because that is most of the battle right there.

Sounds like he is looking for a reaction so don't give him one. Just be super cool about the whole thing and respond similar to what I suggested. My daughter is very similar and says things like "mommy do you like my bum" and the will turn around and show it to me things like this. It all stopped once I bought that book. Turns out it was just curiosity about her body. Since you don't have a lot of experience with kids just know that this is perfectly normal behavior that your son is exhibiting and he likely won't be like this at school especially if you address the issue now in a non judgmental way

[daycarediva]

Curiosity or attention seeking. I agree with Ariana. Explain parts simply and without embarrassment. Also, he's a boy... and 90% of the boys I have cared for just LOVE potty words and farts.

[Unregistered]

It's probably his way of asking without asking. Fill in the blanks for him or someone else will!