At My Wits End

[lovemykidstoo]

I am about ready to hang up the ole daycare thing I've been doing it for 14 years, almost 15. Maybe it's just the group I have because my husband says they all are really irritating him too. Here are the issues I have. I have 3 families. Two of them have 2 boys here and the other has 1 boy. I have two that are 18 months, one 2 year old and two 4 year olds. They are of course typical boys that want to wrestle, play swords with any object, yell, run etc. At ickup time we're typically outside playing and the two sets of boys get in moms car and act like they're wild bears going through a backpack of food. They totally jump around the car and scrounge for food. All the while, mom is somewhat saying Johnny don't do that, Johnny get out of my purse. Alot of times the younger sibling is throwing a full out tantrum. Family with just 1 boy has come in footie pj's the last two days. I mean really? They take it 75% off to change his diaper, get him dressed! Also sends a sippy cup with milk every day in his diaper bag. I don't allow kids to walk around with sippys. So I leave it in the bag and let dad handle icky milk at the end of the day. One of the 4 year old boys is having issues eating lately. He refuses to eat. Which I don't care, he just will be hungry here. Mom explains how she lets him ride his car around the house and when he passes the table, she "feeds" him. I just stared. . He was telling me about how he sits on the couch eating a lunchable and watches tv while the family is at the table and about the car thing with momma feeding him. I said, why don't you do that here? He says because you won't let me hahaha. So what do you think? Obnoxious group or just me?

[Thriftylady]

Sounds like obnoxious parents to me. I mean really let him ride around on his car and feed him as he passes? UM NO!

[childcaremom]

Sounds like obnoxious parents to me. I mean really let him ride around on his car and feed him as he passes? UM NO!

I just reopened in the spring and I can't tell you how many times I have wondered why I even bothered with some of the parenting things I have seen.

I miss my old group.

[mamamanda]

I think the group makes a huge difference. The group I have has burned me out so badly. I am finding more often than not though that I struggle with most of the kids I've had come through lately. Its not really the kids. Its the way they are parented. Everyone's solution to behavior issues is to bribe the kid to be good at daycare by giving them candy at pick up. One set of parents brought a sticker chart and the kid gets privileges at home based on how many stickers are left. I appreciate that they are trying to do something to make things better, but the kids literally look at the sticker chart before deciding whether to obey/follow rules or not. Then I hear, "Well I still have 3 stickers left so it doesn't matter if I do such and such." Or my favorite. This week dcg has done better so when she had a rough day I asked her what was going on. She said, "Daddy picks me up today instead of mommy. He gives me a treat either way just b/c he loves me." I asked little princess if she felt good about herself when daddy gave her the treat. She just looked at me. I said, "You didn't earn the treat and you don't deserve the treat. So you can't feel good about yourself when you get it. If you have a good day and follow directions you can be proud of yourself in your heart whether you get a treat or not." That is a completely foreign concept to most kids. I am taking a break from group care. I think for the future I will just care for one or two kiddos at a time in addition to my own and I will be very picky about the families I choose. It's so sad to go from loving your job to dreading it b/c the parents aren't doing their job.

[LittleTikes]

I went to a Halloween-family themed event, last night, and couldn't believe how many kids were acting out-of-control, while their parents acted scared of dealing them and offered loud explanations to excuse the behavior. The other parents would just nervously laugh. And they all had a fistful of Kettle corn or giant cupcake, as they were demonstrating that they can't stand in a line.

I'm far from a perfect parent and very shy in public, but I'm not going to just stand there while my kids behavior is affecting other people. Last week, we were feeding ducks and an unsupervised neighborhood kid started throwing walnuts, still in their casing, at the ducks' heads. Not one adult spoke up, so I asked him to stop. One of the moms gave me a wide-eyed gasp since he wasn't my child, but he was about to injure or kill a duck! Maybe I should have offered him a dum-dum?

[LindseyA]

I went to a Halloween-family themed event, last night, and couldn't believe how many kids were acting out-of-control, while their parents acted scared of dealing them and offered loud explanations to excuse the behavior. The other parents would just nervously laugh. And they all had a fistful of Kettle corn or giant cupcake, as they were demonstrating that they can't stand in a line.

I'm far from a perfect parent and very shy in public, but I'm not going to just stand there while my kids behavior is affecting other people. Last week, we were feeding ducks and an unsupervised neighborhood kid started throwing walnuts, still in their casing, at the ducks' heads. Not one adult spoke up, so I asked him to stop. One of the moms gave me a wide-eyed gasp since he wasn't my child, but he was about to injure or kill a duck! Maybe I should have offered him a dum-dum?

::::

[lovemykidstoo]

Update about 4 year old that won't eat.
He comes from preschool on wednesdays right before lunch. He came today after school and said that mom said he would get Skittles if he ate his lunch. So of course he doesn't eat his lunch. He tells me that mom brought him a milk sippy cup from her work refrigerator and that it tasted bad so they stopped home and got new milk before coming here today and he also had animal crackers and cheeze its. So I texted her to see if that was true and that it would explain why he didn't want lunch and she said yes it was. But, he only had "just a little". So here's an idea, let's give him a snack immediately before he's going to eat lunch here and then give him skittles on the way home right before dinner. Wonder why he won't eat at meals. Good Lord. Is she really that stupid?I bet a million that he still gets the skittles.

I even told her that I made his fave today PB&J and she asked if she could try talking to him on the phone quick. I told her I already threw it away and that I didn't want to make a big deal of it. She then asked if he ate any bites at all. Which means she'll excuse his behavior because of the milk and he'll get the candy.

[rosieteddy]

I totally agree that parents are tougher.I was thinking of reopening for one more group...I have my health issues under control.With the change in regulations and parents .I have changed my mind......Maybe one child part time ,but so much wooork for all our efforts to be ignored at the end of the day.

[daycarediva]

I have a pretty good group now. I feel like an old lady (I'm in my 30's) when I say "Kids these days!" It's more "Parents these days!" though. I REALLY interview and REALLY weed them out. Non parenting parents need not apply. I ask the questions on interviews, I discuss my expectations, I discuss group care and behavior at LENGTH.

I have had kids make me cry because they behaved so badly. I now terminate and replace. Life is short and there ARE good kids/parents out there. I have some!

I would immediately replace the worst offender. If you don't know- start observing and documenting who it is. It may just be the parent who drives you crazy, too. Then, continue to do so until your job is enjoyable again.

As for the not eating- several local providers are complaining about UPK's snacks/snack time. They eat something sweet and/or starchy at 11, within minutes of getting on the bus and go to providers FULL of carbs/sugar. Is that a possibility?