I Am So Frustrated!

**Thriftylady** · 10-14-2015, 03:20 PM

Sadly there isn't much you can do. And she could have reinfected at home if things were not done right. You have to say something and some parents will leave over it even if it isn't your house. If it is her house she will soon find out that leaving didn't solve her issues.

**NoMoreJuice!** · 10-14-2015, 03:24 PM

Did you check the girl yourself? There's no need to bicker with parents unless you know for 100% sure that it's lice. You need to watch some tutorials on YouTube about lice checking if you aren't already familiar with the process, and the next time daycare girl comes to daycare, let mom know that she can't be dropped off until you make sure she is nit-free.

I have 12 daycare kiddos, and every day for a week I made their parents wait until I had thoroughly checked each head. When I found a nit (and I did, on several), that child went straight home for a treatment. Repeat the next day, and the next, until finally every single child is nit-free.

That is literally the ONLY WAY to rid your home of the bugs and their stupid long life cycle.

**mommyneedsadayoff** · 10-14-2015, 03:52 PM

Originally posted by Unregistered

I posted a few weeks ago about dcg having lice and giving it to me. I got that taken care of over that weekend and my whole place cleaned and vacuumed from top to bottom, all clothes and bedding washed, etc. Well, today dcg was scratching her head a lot again. She has really dark thick hair and darkish scalp so I couldn't tell anything with the quick look I was able to give it, but I text mom after dcg's grandpa picked her up and said, "I'm sure it's nothing, but dcg was scratching her head quite a bit today so you may want to check her over again tonight just in case". I was trying to be nice about it and just simply ask her to check to be sure. Well she responds with, "I'll check again. I guess if it continues I'll have to go somewhere else cause I'm not sure what's going on". Seriously? Threatening to pull her out because she gets lice, which does not even come from here? It's so easy to get a re- infestation after treating it once because it's so hard to see the nits and get them all, so if any nits are missed, they hatch and pretty soon you have a case all over again. I told her that, about how easy it is to get again because the eggs can hatch, and I recommended that "Lice Free!" stuff that kills both the lice and the nits, then added, "That is if that is even the problem. Dry scalp can also cause an itchy scalp". I also said, "I'm sure that's not the problem if you treated her that second time" letting her know that she could get it again if she didn't treat her again like the instructions on her treatment stuff said to do.
But to blame me and my childcare? No one else has gotten it, so it's obvious it wasn't from here. And I don't even care if she does have it again as long as it's treated properly and she gets rid of all the nits and does that second treatment and all. I'm not going to term HER over it. I'm sure if she did go looking for someone else she'd tell them that dcg was "always getting lice from her last provider, so I need somewhere else to bring her". And then me and my childcare will get a bad name and people will start referring to it as "That buggy place". I'm just getting started again in a new town, so I don't need to get a bad reputation before I've even fully gotten started. Plus I really don't want to lose dcg. I enjoy having her here so much. She's such a sweet heart, and is also very attached to me, I might add. And she's my main income...

"Let me know if you find anything, because no one else has it here, so I will probably need to end our services if dcg continues to come without proper treatment." I hate when parents do that. I know you do not want to term, but that sentence would be reason enough for me to be done.

**Unregistered** · 10-14-2015, 04:56 PM

Hope mom cleaned the car seat too..

**e.j.** · 10-14-2015, 05:50 PM

Originally posted by Unregistered

Well she responds with, "I'll check again. I guess if it continues I'll have to go somewhere else cause I'm not sure what's going on".

Yup; that one sentence would have changed everything for me. It takes a lot for me to get upset enough to get into a confrontation with a dcp and even when I've had to, I've always tried hard to maintain a professionalism demeanor but if your dcm had said that to me, I'd have had a very hard time doing that. This is definitely not advice I feel you should follow necessarily but if it were me, I would be past the point of caring if she stayed or left which would free me up to say, "Listen...I've been trying to be nice and not point fingers but the fact of the matter is, I noticed your dd scratching her head back on *date*. My own head started to itch shortly after that. Given the timing, I believe your dd gave it to me. Now, if you feel you need to find another day care, that's fine but I would strongly suggest you check your dd's hair for lice and nits, re-treat her and thoroughly clean her bedding, hats, jackets, car seat, etc before you bring her to a new day care. If she does still have lice, your new provider will not be happy with you for introducing it to her home. In the meantime, if you want me to continue to watch your dd, you will need to ......"

Based on personal experience with lice, I'd be pissed if I were in your position. My dd's friend gave lice to her in grade school and despite several treatments for each of us, thoroughly cleaning my home and hours spent nit picking every single night, it took 2 weeks to finally get rid of them completely. A few years after that, I had a dcg come in with them. No one else got them, thank goodness, but it took a good 3-4 weeks for her dad to get rid of them. Dcd tried to bring her back to me several times but I insisted on checking her head before she could come into my home. Dcd was upset with me but I found nits and live lice each time. I sent her home every day for 2 weeks until they finally took her and her older sister to a professional nit picker to get rid of them. The process was frustrating and exhausting both times and not one I ever want to repeat. If it did happen, all I would need is a dcp pointing the finger at me - especially when I knew it was her kid who gave them to me. Sorry for the vent but I feel your pain!

**KidGrind** · 10-15-2015, 05:30 AM

Originally posted by Unregistered

I posted a few weeks ago about dcg having lice and giving it to me. I got that taken care of over that weekend and my whole place cleaned and vacuumed from top to bottom, all clothes and bedding washed, etc. Well, today dcg was scratching her head a lot again. She has really dark thick hair and darkish scalp so I couldn't tell anything with the quick look I was able to give it, but I text mom after dcg's grandpa picked her up and said, "I'm sure it's nothing, but dcg was scratching her head quite a bit today so you may want to check her over again tonight just in case". I was trying to be nice about it and just simply ask her to check to be sure. Well she responds with, "I'll check again. I guess if it continues I'll have to go somewhere else cause I'm not sure what's going on". Seriously? Threatening to pull her out because she gets lice, which does not even come from here? It's so easy to get a re- infestation after treating it once because it's so hard to see the nits and get them all, so if any nits are missed, they hatch and pretty soon you have a case all over again. I told her that, about how easy it is to get again because the eggs can hatch, and I recommended that "Lice Free!" stuff that kills both the lice and the nits, then added, "That is if that is even the problem. Dry scalp can also cause an itchy scalp". I also said, "I'm sure that's not the problem if you treated her that second time" letting her know that she could get it again if she didn't treat her again like the instructions on her treatment stuff said to do.
But to blame me and my childcare? No one else has gotten it, so it's obvious it wasn't from here. And I don't even care if she does have it again as long as it's treated properly and she gets rid of all the nits and does that second treatment and all. I'm not going to term HER over it. I'm sure if she did go looking for someone else she'd tell them that dcg was "always getting lice from her last provider, so I need somewhere else to bring her". And then me and my childcare will get a bad name and people will start referring to it as "That buggy place". I'm just getting started again in a new town, so I don't need to get a bad reputation before I've even fully gotten started. Plus I really don't want to lose dcg. I enjoy having her here so much. She's such a sweet heart, and is also very attached to me, I might add. And she's my main income...

Whether she stays or leaves, you are still going to be blamed for the lice infestation. You’re going to keep her because you want/need to and that’s okay. Just be prepared to deal with the lice AND THE AFTERMATH IF THE OTHER DCKs CATCH IT.

**Unregistered** · 10-15-2015, 05:36 AM

Well dcm dropped her off this morning and didn't say a word about it. I was thinking, "Umm, I need info because I'm not accepting her into care with possible headlice and I'll be checking her out the best I can and calling you back". So as she was about to duck out the door I asked her and she said, "She was fine. Had some dandruff, so maybe her scalp is dry which is what was making her itchy". I was starting to like this dcm, despite a rough start with no calls/no shows on the days she was supposed to start, but after her comment last night and then not even going to say anything this morning about whether or not she had it, I'm once again not too happy with her. I really wish we only had the children to deal with in this job. I have no patience for adults.

**hope** · 10-15-2015, 05:42 AM

Did you check the child's head for lice or nits? I would not take dcm's word for it. I can see her saying...."oh, I thought it WAS dandruff" and your home is infested again.

**Thriftylady** · 10-15-2015, 06:19 AM

Originally posted by hope

Did you check the child's head for lice or nits? I would not take dcm's word for it. I can see her saying...."oh, I thought it WAS dandruff" and your home is infested again.

This. I would not have allowed DCM to leave her until I checked her head myself. Mom is going to keep running over you until you let her know you won't put up with it. I totally get needing the money, I am in that situation myself. But there are things I can do without before I let someone treat me poorly and walk all over me.

**Unregistered** · 10-15-2015, 10:54 AM

Oh yeah, I checked her over as soon as dcm left. Well, what little I could. Dcg is being really uncooperative and defiant today and refused to hold still for a minute so I can do a good check. I didn't know what had gotten into her today : / But from what little I could tell I didn't find anything. Later she fell asleep during am snack at the table (obviously she's really tired today). So while she was asleep I tried to do a quick check before she woke up. Didn't find any lice, but not sure if I saw nits or not. They're not at the top of the hair shaft like I've always heard they're supposed to be. What I found was further down, so I don't think it is. Later on right before nap I did another check looking specifically for any bugs, but didn't find anything. Of course those things move so fast though that that's not a good indication. I wish I could trust dcm to just tell the truth. I want to think that she'd be honest with me, like she was the first time she got it and she brought her back after the weekend saying she did sure enough have it. But after her threat yesterday, I'm not so sure.

**Thriftylady** · 10-15-2015, 12:29 PM

Nits can be anywhere on the hair shaft. One way to tell is how easily they move. Dandruff will move easily when touched, nits are harder to move.

**e.j.** · 10-15-2015, 04:43 PM

Originally posted by Thriftylady

Nits can be anywhere on the hair shaft. One way to tell is how easily they move. Dandruff will move easily when touched, nits are harder to move.

I found this was true when my dd had lice.

Originally posted by Unregistered

Oh yeah, I checked her over as soon as dcm left. Well, what little I could. Dcg is being really uncooperative and defiant today and refused to hold still for a minute so I can do a good check. I didn't know what had gotten into her today : / But from what little I could tell I didn't find anything. Later she fell asleep during am snack at the table (obviously she's really tired today). So while she was asleep I tried to do a quick check before she woke up. Didn't find any lice, but not sure if I saw nits or not. They're not at the top of the hair shaft like I've always heard they're supposed to be. What I found was further down, so I don't think it is. Later on right before nap I did another check looking specifically for any bugs, but didn't find anything. Of course those things move so fast though that that's not a good indication. I wish I could trust dcm to just tell the truth. I want to think that she'd be honest with me, like she was the first time she got it and she brought her back after the weekend saying she did sure enough have it. But after her threat yesterday, I'm not so sure.

I'd be concerned that the "dandruff" dcm said her dd has is actually eggs. When my dd came home from school scratching, I checked her head and it looked like dandruff. I almost didn't think much of it but when she continued to scratch, I called her pediatrician to see if they could help me. As soon as I mentioned that it looked like she had dandruff, I was told it was most likely lice. Sure enough...! Like Thriftylady said, dandruff will move easily - nits not so much. Try blowing on the "dandruff" or moving it with a craft stick or tongue depressor. If it doesn't move easily, she probably still has nits.

**daycare** · 10-15-2015, 07:08 PM

you can buy a nit comb at any drug store, target, walmart, etc. They only cost about $3.00.
I bought one for lice season here and we used it on anyone we thought had it. We got really lucky and no one had it. well so far no one has.

**NoMoreJuice!** · 10-15-2015, 07:35 PM

This may help: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAsfE8AWxzU

Most people don't know exactly what to look for when doing head checks. Check the "hot spots" first: the sides of the head near the ears and the back of the scalp. If you find "dandruff" just flick it with your finger...if it comes off easily, it was dandruff, but if it sticks tight to the hair, it's a nit.

Sorry you're having to deal with this, but the quicker you break the cycle the better!

I Am So Frustrated!

I Am So Frustrated!

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