I wrote a contract for a reason! Acknowledge the contract! - Rant

[Thriftylady]

It IS about personal responsibility.

If people have so much going on in their lives that they forget things that have to do with their children, then perhaps its time to pare down the list of things they have going on in their lives.

I think when society begins to feel it's okay or understandable for people to not have to be responsible for something that DOES effect them the fall out is that those people start to believe it is someone else's responsibility to remind them of theirs.

I'm sorry but I already parented (taught my children how to be responsible and to how to endure the consequences when they do forget) so I a certainly not going to parent my daycare clients.


I send out a yearly calendar. Parents can keep it in a safe place so they know what days they do not have care or they can lose it and thus be upset that they now have an "issue" to figure out but no matter if they keep it or lose it, its not MY issue and I won't take responsibility for it when I have things going on in my life too...

I know Dr and dentist offices often send out reminders or make reminder calls but they have a secretary or staff person that can do that and until I am making somewhere along the same lines as those professions, reminder calls won't be part of my duty or my responsibility.

I think you miss understood me. Yes parents need to be responsible, but I am not sure it is because they don't want to be or are not trying to be. That is what I meant. I also get what you are saying about paring down though. We are constantly on my DD who wants to be involved in everything (high school, college, work, church, friends, whatever else) that in order to pick up something else she needs to drop something. She is a classic example of someone who will bury herself under (and in her case do it to herself vs a job or someone else doing it to her) so I get what you are saying. I just don't think people realize what they are doing when they do this. Not saying that the parent doesn't need to step up, because they do, and I am not real sure how to explain what I mean. I guess just that I don't think people are doing it intentionally always. But for them to get angry because they messed up is where I say is totally out of line.

[Blackcat31]

I think you miss understood me. Yes parents need to be responsible, but I am not sure it is because they don't want to be or are not trying to be. That is what I meant. I also get what you are saying about paring down though. We are constantly on my DD who wants to be involved in everything (high school, college, work, church, friends, whatever else) that in order to pick up something else she needs to drop something. She is a classic example of someone who will bury herself under (and in her case do it to herself vs a job or someone else doing it to her) so I get what you are saying. I just don't think people realize what they are doing when they do this. Not saying that the parent doesn't need to step up, because they do, and I am not real sure how to explain what I mean. I guess just that I don't think people are doing it intentionally always. But for them to get angry because they messed up is where I say is totally out of line.

I am not misunderstanding at all. Your point was that it isn't always intentional.

I don't think people do it intentionally always either but I do think placing the blame on to someone else though says ALOT about how they view and accept personal responsibility and according to OP, her clients obviously feel it's not their responsibility to remember.

So I stand by what I said, it IS about personal responsibility.

Getting people to accept that sometimes requires a firm stance or consequence verses simply accepting that they have too much going on in their lives.....which in my opinion excuses them from that responsibility.

[Josiegirl]

I wonder if she was ranting and raving at you because she was so angry with herself for dropping the ball?
Lots of times I feel, to dcps we don't appear to be real people who get sick for real or have real families or real days off, just like everybody else. There will always be that 1 dcf who would try to bring their child to you if you were on your death bed.

Most importantly take care of you. And don't let it break your day. Vent here, breathe in and out, then let it go, stress will only make you feel worse. And remember 'it takes all kinds of people to make the world go 'round'

[KidGrind]

On one specific page in my contract, I list out my days that I'm closed. I make sure to go over that page with people during the interview and I tell them to write the days that I will be closed on a calendar or tear the list out of the contract (which is why I put it on it's own sheet of paper listed out) and put the list on their refrigerator so they can look and see when I will be closed. Then I tell them that I try to remind them throughout the year that a day is coming up that I will be closed, but that I don't always remember to remind people which is why I've given them a list so ahead of time.

No matter what, there's ALWAYS someone who doesn't acknowledge the list of days off in the contract and shows up for daycare and gets mad as all Hell that I'm closed! Then they blame me for not reminding them - even though I told them on the interview that I don't always remind them and that they need to acknowledge the list of days closed that I give them on the interview. Schools (elementary, middle, and high schools) don't call parents or send home a reminder notice that school will be closed on an upcoming day. They give you a school calendar which includes their days closed for the year and it's up to you to acknowledge their one school calendar that they give you. Why is it that parents of younger children need us to give them constant reminders of things like this? They won't get constant reminders once their child is in real school.

You’ve told them; it’s their responsibility. It’s nice if you remind DCPs. Even so, it’s NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY once they’ve received the list. I put in red closed next to the child’s name on my sign in sheet. I had a parent text me if I were open or closed. I text back, “It’s listed on the sign-in sheet in red that I am closed. It’s a holiday.”

[Unregistered]

My kids schools put out an school wide electronic phone call the night before a day off or an early dismissal.

[Controlled Chaos]

OP I know your medical issues and a unappreciative parent are central to your issue - so this is just in response to some PPs.

I am one of those people overwhelmed by life a little right now, and need reminders. My DD has two 3 day weeks in a row this month. :confused: I have a calendar of the days off posted, but I super appreciate DD's teacher sends a weekly email to all the parents and includes reminders about stuff like that.

I have to juggle my 8 dcks schedules, dd's school schedule, dh's college class schedule, his work hours, random in law scheduling needs, my dad's chemo and other dr. apts, family photos apt this week, WIC appointments, 4 nights of professional development classes the next 2 weeks. etc

I'm not special, I know everyone has lots to juggle in life. But I am someone who will get fuzzy on memory and drop the ball occasionally even with everything written down. I appreciate reminders. I assume my dcps appreciate the COURTESY of a reminder as well. Its a favor, and I'm happy to throw them a bone. But also, I have never have them show up on an off day. So they are respectful.

[Blackcat31]

OP I know your medical issues and a unappreciative parent are central to your issue - so this is just in response to some PPs.

I am one of those people overwhelmed by life a little right now, and need reminders. My DD has two 3 day weeks in a row this month. :confused: I have a calendar of the days off posted, but I super appreciate DD's teacher sends a weekly email to all the parents and includes reminders about stuff like that.

I have to juggle my 8 dcks schedules, dd's school schedule, dh's college class schedule, his work hours, random in law scheduling needs, my dad's chemo and other dr. apts, family photos apt this week, WIC appointments, 4 nights of professional development classes the next 2 weeks. etc

I'm not special, I know everyone has lots to juggle in life. But I am someone who will get fuzzy on memory and drop the ball occasionally even with everything written down. I appreciate reminders. I assume my dcps appreciate the COURTESY of a reminder as well. Its a favor, and I'm happy to throw them a bone. But also, I have never have them show up on an off day. So they are respectful.

Since I am one of the PPs that said it's not my responsibility, I assume your comments were directed to me as one of those PP's....

You stated your DD's teacher sends a weekly e-mail listing reminders...
....one of the big differences there is that you actually read them.

fwiw~ I didn't say I didn't understand or that I don't acknowledge that people have a lot going on....

I said it's not my responsibility to send reminders and it's not.

There is a big difference between a courtesy/favor and a responsibility.

[Unregistered]

I do have to constantly remind parents , I guess I dont have to but I do understand lots of people have very busy lives.I also think parents should do more things to help remember them selfs.it can be a little annoying at times.I do agree with the person who posted this most of the time yes we are all they have, no freinds, no family no back up care, nothing.in my situation im all they have , I haven't had anyone get to mad, but if they do get mad I dont think they really mean it.Its just in the moment they are freaking out and not really towards me or that they are mad at me.

[Meeko]

My daycare entrance is well covered and I have a little chalkboard by the door. I just write "Don't forget we are closed on such/such date!"...and call it good. Their fault if they are going to ignore it. They get a list in their handbook too.

The pic is dark as I just took it in the dark!

[daycare]

I think in today's tech driven society, we are dependent on so many gadgets to do things for us. WHICH can be really nice or it can be a pain. I put everything in my phone that backs up to my cloud calendar, so if I ever lost my phone it's already on my computer.


I am sure most people have a smart phone these days with this type of function, but they still don't seem to always use it.

I had a mom get upset with me that I didn't send out payment reminders, and I told her I did when I gave you your contract 3 months ago and told you that the payments were due every Friday if you are in attendance or not.

She just got more mad. I don't care, I won't be held accountable for your mistake or your feelings. If you are mad that's fine with me, but you only have yourself to be mad at. Of course I didn't say that last bit.

Hope you are feeling better.

Oh like PP said I also have a chalk board and at the start of the month I bullet point the really important things going on that month. this way if something happens and I get busy I don't forget!

[Ariana]

I do not remind people!! I am so sick of parents needing to be treated like toddlers. If they show up then tough luck for them ::