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So, new dcm sends me several texts everyday asking how her 3mo baby girl is doing. She's been here 3 weeks now and the texts aren't decreasing. For the past couple of days I've decided to not respond until late in the day and I've made it a point each time to say I didn't have time to respond earlier. I have 5 kids here to take care of and 3 of them are under 2 years old (her 3 mo, a 5 mo and a one year old). I'm not sure why she thinks I have time to text her back and forth all day. Should I just keep up with the current plan of not responding until much later or should I be blunt with this dcm and tell her to knock it off?
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I have one that text all the time. I don't respond every time or if I am in a mood, I say something I know she doesn't want to hear...like "he isn't taking the bottle well so if you want you can come get him":
: or I have even said, "not sure if he is OK or not, you might want to come get him so you can be sure". :: She is a "stay on the internet researching everything about babies" person.....so she has some way out there ideas....
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I would just send a friendly email saying "sorry I haven't been able to get to your texts but it can get hectic here during the day with 3 other children. I will give you updates at the end of the day from here on in unless there is an emergency. Thanks and have a great day"
There has to be trust between you both and she needs to cut the chord!Comment
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Do you send pics?
Sometimes I just respond w one of child at that time. Without a text.
I think at three weeks into care it's more of a , I have a few minutes to sit here and miss my baby. I wonder how she is today.
Than a
I don't trust my caregiver unless I check in constantly. I have a four year old whose mom texts me every day at her lunch just to keep updated and see how she is. Not because she doesn't trust me, but because she misses her. And is genuinely wondering how her day is going.Comment
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Under 12m I complete daily sheet. I would do as you have reply within 3-4 hr window. I wouldn't tell her your day is hectic, a juggle or any adjective that could give impression it's too much for you. Because it's not. Dcp can jump to conclusion and miss the point you prefer to stop the text part.Comment
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I don't think it's because she doesn't trust me. I'm sure it's that she misses her baby. I send her pics from time to time. But, I simply don't have the time to text back and forth all day. I barely have time to go to the bathroom. I have my one year old pulling on my pant leg right now as I reply to this post because she wants my phone or laptop anytime I use it. I have to hide in the bathroom to respond to texts because if my daughter sees my phone she throws a fit because she wants it. So, I need the texts to stop and I don't know if I can keep hinting around much longer. I think I'll just not respond at all and give her daily recaps when she picks up, like I normally do.Comment
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Yes it is. OP said the parent texts too often.
It IS too much.
@ Pinkyswear I wouldn't mince my words and would state to the mom that while I understand her need to stay connected to her baby, you as a provider are busy doing your job and every single time a parent calls or texts or stops by is time you are taking away from the kids you are providing care too.
Explain to mom that she needs to either allow you to do your job and not take you away from providing the care and supervision young children require or she needs to find a nanny that has time to continuously communicate with her all day.
I do daily sheets for NEW infants but only until I establish a routine with them (usually within the first 2 weeks) and after that, the ONLY updates a parent gets from me is time of last feeding and time of last changing and anything new that happens or needs to be addressed.Comment
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Blackcat - I meant juggling her group. Some dcp jump to the provider being stressed with her job. It's the text she wants to stop. I agree w you black cat. Sometimes the best solution is honest feedback from provider to dcp.Comment
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yeah, I thought about that perspective after I posted...
Seems anything we say to parents now days can be taken out of context or used against us
I am way to blunt for anyone to mistake my meanings... I am usually the one apologizing for taking what others say at face value and responding (uhmm, case in point...above )
The good part of that for me though is I **** at playing the passive-aggressive games that parents play.
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I let the response texts get shorter and further apart, spacing it as far as I need to, etc.
You can also both get an app called "babyconnect" where you can track things like when they are fed, changed, sleeping, etc and mom can access it from her end. Then she can see how things are going. I use Baby Connect for any baby up until I start feeling like I'm entering the same thing at the same time every day, usually by 6 months of age, then I let it decrease. There's a natural progression.
This prevents me from having to do a paper sheet each day, which takes more time IMO and is just annoying. The app is really handy.Hee hee! Look, I have a signature!Comment
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Blackcat, your a straight arrow. Much like myself. My dh said I can tell folks off with a smile & they never realize it. This DCM is totally a MyChild mom. I feel for you pinkyswear.Comment
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I'm with you black cat. I might just be explaining it to her in that way (you're taking time away from me caring for the children).
Silversabre25, I won't use babyconnect. It's just another thing during the day that takes away from the care of the children. They get a recap of the day when they pickup. I shouldn't have to log feedings, moods, naptimes etc. for parents. If they feel their child isn't being cared for they are free to bring them elsewhere. My dck's are well taken care of.Comment
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