Sorry, anther infant feeding question from me...

[Indoorvoice]

I have a 6 month old here. Mom was told by the Dr to have him eat 3 meals a day so mom started sending food. It appears he still has the tongue thrust reflex and just pushes the food out of his mouth with the tongue. I have also tried giving him the bowl and spoon and he won't even touch it. When I told mom, she said he eats fine for her but not for dad and to keep trying, he's just being a "stinker". I would be fine feeding him if he readily took the spoon, but I'm not going to force it or shove it in his mouth. Would you keep offering it, or ask mom to wait? I'm not in the food program and she is providing food so I'm not out anything but time. I can't decide if this is just an annoyance that I'm being too picky about, or if I should actually have a say. I just wish mom would have asked for my advice instead of instructing me.

[BabyMonkeys]

I'm kinda surprised that the doctor told her to give him three meals a day. :confused: At that age they don't even officially "need" solids. He should be getting most, if not all, of his nutrition from his formula. I absolutely would not keep trying to force feed him. You can offer it to him, but I wouldn't push the issue. As long as he is drinking his bottles, he's fine.

[Indoorvoice]

I'm kinda surprised that the doctor told her to give him three meals a day. :confused: At that age they don't even officially "need" solids. He should be getting most, if not all, of his nutrition from his formula. I absolutely would not keep trying to force feed him. You can offer it to him, but I wouldn't push the issue. As long as he is drinking his bottles, he's fine.

I told her I was surprised too, that my Dr always told me food was for fun and to not push or stress about it. She is even all worked up about the amount he is getting and said that the Dr wants him eating one of those big jars at each meal by 8 months and to not give him as many bottles. It's so backwards from any advice I've ever been given, but she is taking her Dr's word as gospel which is making it tough on me. She didn't want to hear any of my advice or experiences. I wish I would have just told her I don't feed infants until 8 months, but I'm not on the food program so I have no good reason to make that rule.

[littletots]

Offer don't force. If he isn't hungry, wait 1hr & offer again. I complete daily form for under 12m. I'd note times & amounts. Offer food, 1st then bottle. Dr probably meant offer meals every 2-3hrs which would be 3x. Breakfast, lunch, pm snack. Pm snack for babies could be larger if he was hungry.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

He really shouldn't need that much food. I would offer bottle first (maybe a larger amount if he is ducking them down), then you could offer some cereal or fruit/veg, but don't force it. I don't offer solids till 8 months or older. I don't think they need it, ime. I find after 8 months, they are almost able to hand feed themselves small bits of food, but their primary nutrition will come from the bottle up to the first year at least.

[hope]

I am always weary when parents tell me that their doctor told them to do something and it is against everything I have known. Many times it is the parent wanting something and they are afraid that we will not go along so they say the doctor ordered it.
That being said, I would offer the meals to the baby and he eats what he eats. I have seen many babies not want to eat and are encouraged when eating at the table with everyone else.

[BabyMonkeys]

I told her I was surprised too, that my Dr always told me food was for fun and to not push or stress about it. She is even all worked up about the amount he is getting and said that the Dr wants him eating one of those big jars at each meal by 8 months and to not give him as many bottles. It's so backwards from any advice I've ever been given, but she is taking her Dr's word as gospel which is making it tough on me. She didn't want to hear any of my advice or experiences. I wish I would have just told her I don't feed infants until 8 months, but I'm not on the food program so I have no good reason to make that rule.

Do you believe her that is what the doctor said? You could print out a copy of the food program rules and tell her while you are not currently enrolled in the food program, you follow their policies. You don't have to give her a reason why you made a rule. If she wants you to give him food before then, she can provide you with a doctor's note detailing exactly what and how much he thinks you should be feeding the baby.

[finsup]

My doctor actually remmcomed this too...they said to start my son on solids at 4m and increase gradually to 3 "meals" a day. His weight had stalled and they said the extra calories would help (in addition to continuing nursing). It worked for him and we didn't need to supplement so that was great but he also LOVED solids . They also said NOT to decrease breastmilk though.
I would offer it, maybe try a second time like an hour or two later if he didn't take it the first time but after that I'd leave it to the parents. If he eats for mom they could do 1.5 meals in the morning then 1.5 in the evening so he's still getting as much as they'd like or just go with two on weekdays, 3 on weekends, until he starts eating for you.

[Indoorvoice]

He really shouldn't need that much food. I would offer bottle first (maybe a larger amount if he is ducking them down), then you could offer some cereal or fruit/veg, but don't force it. I don't offer solids till 8 months or older. I don't think they need it, ime. I find after 8 months, they are almost able to hand feed themselves small bits of food, but their primary nutrition will come from the bottle up to the first year at least.

That was my understanding too. How do you present your 8 month rule to parents? I will do this from now on, and actually thought about that policy before they told me to start feeding him, but thought it made me seem like I was just trying to get out of work.

[littletots]

I just have training that suggested starting baby food at 6m. I've had DCM wanting to start at 4m, 5m. Indian culture has 1st food ceremony at 6m.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

That was my understanding too. How do you present your 8 month rule to parents? I will do this from now on, and actually thought about that policy before they told me to start feeding him, but thought it made me seem like I was just trying to get out of work.

I don't really present it as a rule, but in my policy book, under my meal plan, I state that infants who show interest in solid foods will be given them after a full bottle and as part of our group lunch, which generally happens (ime) around the 8-9 month age range. I feed my babies their bottles, but I find by about that age, they want to be a part of the lunch group, so they get to sit in their high chair and after I serve the others, I will try little bits of food and see how they do. If they show no interest, I don't press it and just let them sit and watch while the others eat. If they seem to love it, then I give them as much as they seem to want, but I NEVER substitute food for their formula/breast milk. They always get that first and foremost. The food is actually just a great social interaction for them and like I said, by those age ranges, they are trying really hard to pick up stuff (notice how they find the tiniest particle on the carpet), so I let them go at it. Of course, make sure the food is super soft and age appropriate, but I have never been a huge fan of the store bought pureed foods. I like to mush up or puree the food we eat and start with that and as they can handle a little more texture, I will make it in tiny bites and let their little fingers work on picking it up. If the mom wants him to have three meals, but he shows no interest, you could just let her know that he is included in your daily breakfast/lunch, but is not interested in the food, so you will just see how it goes and when he is ready, he will let YOU know. Until then, just make sure he is getting enough from his bottles and don't worry about the solids so much.

My sister was tod by her doctor to give her 2 month old rice cereal because he was draining his bottles and still seemed hungry. I told her I did not agree and offered other solutions, but she insisted the doctor was right. I love my nephew, but he is a LARGE child for his age and always sick. He started to get more calories from food, and not from BM/formula, and he has had eating issues and every sickness known to man since he was a baby. Whether that is related, I cannot say, but my own kids did not start eating solids till almost 11 months and it was just food we ate and once they showed interest, we would give them little bites, but formula adn breast milk were their main source of nutrition until after one year.

Agai, this is just my experience, but the main point is that if he doesn't want the food, don't force it. You can offer it up, but you can't make them take it down

[Indoorvoice]

I don't really present it as a rule, but in my policy book, under my meal plan, I state that infants who show interest in solid foods will be given them after a full bottle and as part of our group lunch, which generally happens (ime) around the 8-9 month age range. I feed my babies their bottles, but I find by about that age, they want to be a part of the lunch group, so they get to sit in their high chair and after I serve the others, I will try little bits of food and see how they do. If they show no interest, I don't press it and just let them sit and watch while the others eat. If they seem to love it, then I give them as much as they seem to want, but I NEVER substitute food for their formula/breast milk. They always get that first and foremost. The food is actually just a great social interaction for them and like I said, by those age ranges, they are trying really hard to pick up stuff (notice how they find the tiniest particle on the carpet), so I let them go at it. Of course, make sure the food is super soft and age appropriate, but I have never been a huge fan of the store bought pureed foods. I like to mush up or puree the food we eat and start with that and as they can handle a little more texture, I will make it in tiny bites and let their little fingers work on picking it up. If the mom wants him to have three meals, but he shows no interest, you could just let her know that he is included in your daily breakfast/lunch, but is not interested in the food, so you will just see how it goes and when he is ready, he will let YOU know. Until then, just make sure he is getting enough from his bottles and don't worry about the solids so much.

My sister was tod by her doctor to give her 2 month old rice cereal because he was draining his bottles and still seemed hungry. I told her I did not agree and offered other solutions, but she insisted the doctor was right. I love my nephew, but he is a LARGE child for his age and always sick. He started to get more calories from food, and not from BM/formula, and he has had eating issues and every sickness known to man since he was a baby. Whether that is related, I cannot say, but my own kids did not start eating solids till almost 11 months and it was just food we ate and once they showed interest, we would give them little bites, but formula adn breast milk were their main source of nutrition until after one year.

Agai, this is just my experience, but the main point is that if he doesn't want the food, don't force it. You can offer it up, but you can't make them take it down

Thank you! I have a hard time making myself seem like the expert when parents often don't believe we are. But you worded it well. In this case, the infant is my nephew and I feel like his mom is trying really hard to show me that she is the mom and she knows best. She fights me on everything. I didn't feed my own kids solids until they could feed themselves, and it was so much easier and they generally enjoy food and know when they're full. While I realize my way isn't the only way, I just wish I had more of a say or at least be able to be a part of the decision when we started solids, because I do spend so much of the week with him.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Thank you! I have a hard time making myself seem like the expert when parents often don't believe we are. But you worded it well. In this case, the infant is my nephew and I feel like his mom is trying really hard to show me that she is the mom and she knows best. She fights me on everything. I didn't feed my own kids solids until they could feed themselves, and it was so much easier and they generally enjoy food and know when they're full. While I realize my way isn't the only way, I just wish I had more of a say or at least be able to be a part of the decision when we started solids, because I do spend so much of the week with him.

In your house, it is YOUR way and you absolutely have a say int he matter. Force feeding a six month old will lead to so many more issues down the road, so don't let mom bully you into, just because she claims a doctor told her to. There are just as many doctors who would tell her not to. I like to stay laid back with my dcp. Mom asks, "did he eat his meals today?" I respond, " I offered him cereal/veggie and he had no interest, but he drank all his bottles and had a great day! He will get the hang of it when he is ready!" Hand over stuff and baby and say BYE! Sometimes they get me worked up with all their knowledge in childcare (you know, because they have been a parent for 6 months at this point), but I still try to keep it relaxed and nonchalant in my response, because honestly, their child is pretty much the same as any other kid that came before them. They will do things when THEY are ready, not when mom is ready. Just do what you do and come here to vent...it helps so much because most of us have been there and we understand!:hug:

[Crazy8]

mom of my 8m old is saying her dr. is pushing for 3 meals a day as well but she doesn't even feel the baby needs that much yet. When my kids were little you didn't even start solids till 6-8 months and you started with once a day.