Questions about time-out

[Josiegirl]

I used to use them often, for certain kids. Other kids never needed them, either they were pretty good at listening or other consequences worked much better. I have to be honest here....I don't use them much anymore, they just never worked for the kids who needed something more than a talk.

The discipline I use that closest resembles time-out is if one of the dcks does something physical to another one; I immediately sit her down right where she is, go tend to the 'victim', then come back and ask her to come see if 'victim' is alright, offering her a hug or cold washcloth or something appropriate.

If it's a toy tug 'o war going on, I put the toy up if it can't be figured out.

If it's something at mealtime going on, I usually give them a warning and if they do it again, that means they're all done.

If it's rude behavior or language I try to ignore it(depending on circumstance) but then model appropriateness.

I guess my question is basically does it work for you? Because I found(at least with the dcks I used it on) it just didn't. Either they'd scream the whole time, keep getting up, try to trip/hit/push kids as they walked by, etc. Then they'd get right back up and repeat it. I had 1 dcb who would sit in TO and spit on the floor. I don't call dcps for behavior related pick-ups, but man I did that day! It was the proverbial straw.
Just curious how it works for you if you use it?

[Janiam]

I don' think time out is very effective in changing behavior but I do use it with one particular child because he has cycles of bad behavior and when he is on the upswing he will drive me bat cr*p crazy. The other kids and I need a break and having him sit out a few minutes helps. This is 4.5 yo that has no discipline at home and no loss of priveleges or anything else even phases him, just doesn't care. Most of the kids resond well to verbal redirection , toy time outs and loss of priveleges. I have a crying spot for those that need a few minutes to recover their feelings

[MsLisa]

I have a time out/think tank chair by my desk. I had to use it a lot last year, especially for specific kids who thankfully aren't here any more. It was effective then and all I really had to do was ask if they needed to "take a seat" and they'd wise up.
This year, although I barely have to use it, when I do it's not effective. These kids will argue with me or simply refuse to the point where I literally have to take them to the chair. Then they don't want to get out of the chair. Or they try to destroy the chair itself.
Needless to say, I’ve now switched to just removing privileges or like Josie's basically.

[Alwaysgreener]

I use it. I follow the love and logic rules with it a ignore their tantrum and do not start the timer until it is over.
I do have trouble with one child, he gets up when I am out of view. So I put him in the corner or I will do a mobile time out where he goes where I go.
I also do this with 3 and up. 2 and under go in the pnp, until they stop screaming/ crying.
After a while, they will understand that there is reaction to there actions. They will learn that disobeying gets them the chair and sitting calmly gets them out.
However you first have to train yourself to follow through be for you can teach them.

It does work, if you make it work.

[stephanie]

I don't use time outs. It's redirection, redirection, redirection, and logical consequences. Throwing sand in the sandbox? All done with sandbox for now, go play on the slide. When kids are acting up at mealtime (taking their bibs off, yelling, not sitting in their chair, etc.) I say, "That tells me you're done" and since they're usually not done eating, they correct the behavior.

If kids have a tantrum or get upset because they're not listening, I ask them if they need to relax. If they don't stop crying, I have them lay down in the book area on some body pillows (same idea as crying corner or thinking spot, etc.) until they calm down. They don't have to "relax" for any set amount of time, they can get up as soon as they get control of their emotions. Not a punishment thing; we all need time to regroup every now and then.

[Blackcat31]

No time outs here either.

Redirect and natural consequences work MUCH better and I think actually teach the child something where as I don't think time out teaches any one anything.

[Play Care]

I use time outs when necessary. Like any other discipline method I think they have their place.

With my new almost 3 yo they've been quite effective, especially after tons of reminders and redirections. It gives us BOTH a much needed break. And he is starting to realize that not listening and following directions = no fun.

Other kids learn more quickly when the activity it taken away (i.e. The sand throwing)
And I do think TO becomes less effective with older kids.

If a child's behavior was such that they spit on my floor, I'd have them stop the TO, clean it up and go back to TO.
I'd also be having a stern conversation with the parents about the behavior and a date marked on the calendar that would be my term date if I didn't notice improvement.

[Ariana]

No time outs here either.

Redirect and natural consequences work MUCH better and I think actually teach the child something where as I don't think time out teaches any one anything.

Agree. I used to use them all the time for behavior and I have never ever seen it work for preventing any kind of behavior at all.

[Controlled Chaos]

I use redirection and "time away" mostly. Time away is when I assign a child an activity at a table or blanket by themselves. They play by themselves until I decide they have earned the privilege of returning to their friends. I will every once in a blue moon use a real time out, and that is if a 3yo or older is making repeat bad choices to the point I think they would throw/break toys in a time away area and I need a break to figure out what I want to do next with the little angel

[SilverSabre25]

I use time outs like you described--when I need to immediately separate kids, tend to one, get the stories straight.

OR when one kid has me seriously triggered I might sit them down to give *myself* a moment to regroup and calm down. Mostly this happens with my own kids, or a certain kid who seems to live to blame my 4 year old and lie about things....

But time outs to try and change behavior? Nope. That's just not something that works. Redirection, removing a situation from a child (putting up a toy) or a child from a situation (moving their body when they won't comply, putting up gates), natural/logical consequences, and sportscasting/talking it out. Sporstcasing is HUGE. And simply observing things about a situation ("It looks like she's already holding the baby" is often enough to get the kid trying to take the baby to either use words ("But I had it first!") or to let it go)

[daycare]

I have to say that I don't think that there is a one-size-fits all when it cones to having a discipline plan.

I have to get to know the kids and connect with them before i can decide what will or won't work for the child.

every child is different and will respond/react differently.

I have a few kids that nothing works but time out. which I only use for physical harm done . if you hit, you sit.

most of my kids are 3-4.5

I have a few kids if I gave them time out they could care less.

Most of the time I use natural consequences, but I have a few kids that I know their go to loss of privillage and that works every time.

when parents come to interview and they ask me what from of discipline I use, I tell them I won't know until I get to know their child.

Some kids I hate to say it you have to talk to like you would tell a dog to sit. Others might cry their little eyes out if you talked to them like that.

so I wouldn't say it doesnt work, I would just say it's not for every child.

[SilverSabre25]

I have to say that I don't think that there is a one-size-fits all when it cones to having a discipline plan.

I have to get to know the kids and connect with them before i can decide what will or won't work for the child.

every child is different and will respond/react differently.

I have a few kids that nothing works but time out. which I only use for physical harm done . if you hit, you sit.

most of my kids are 3-4.5

I have a few kids if I gave them time out they could care less.

Most of the time I use natural consequences, but I have a few kids that I know their go to loss of privillage and that works every time.

when parents come to interview and they ask me what from of discipline I use, I tell them I won't know until I get to know their child.

Some kids I hate to say it you have to talk to like you would tell a dog to sit. Others might cry their little eyes out if you talked to them like that.

so I wouldn't say it doesnt work, I would just say it's not for every child.

Yes, this too