dcb lost grandma

[mamamanda]

My dcb came in today very somber. I knew his great grandma took a turn for the worse last night, but I didn't realize she had actually passed. He had tears in his eyes and told me his grandma died and he already missed her. He just kept repeating, "but I miss her."
How on earth could I possibly respond to that? I felt so bad for him. I gave him a hug and told him it was ok to miss her. I know they go to church so I told him she was with Jesus now and she didn't have to hurt anymore. (She's been very sick.) I also assured him it was ok to feel sad. I just felt so caught off guard. I was fighting tears of my own. So sad.

[Josiegirl]

That's so sad. I understand the family had personal issues to take care of but there wasn't anyone within his family who could have taken him today, to help him accept everything? And dcps didn't tell you she had died? I'm sorry you've had to go through that.

[daycare]

maybe they feel it is best for him to stay in his routine and not be around all of the adults who are also trying to cope with this. When my nephew lost his sister, we did everything we could to keep his life as normal as possible. He has just turned 4 and he had to watch his big sister at the age of 5 die.

so I suggest that instead of being in the crossfire of all the massive amount of emotions that were going on at home that my brother send him to daycare as normal where he could be in a stress free and loving enviornment. In the mean time I asked my brother to talk to their counselor about how to talk to my nephew about it and how to help him cope with it. they did just that and he has been adjusting back very well.

[SilverSabre25]

For things like that, just hug and rock and stroke their hair ( if he wants) and repeat "I know baby, I know. " and give him slave to just cry and process the feelings. That's the biggest gift you can give in these situations. Validate the feelings. Sportscast the emotions. And maybe, after a bit, you'll have am opening to get him taping about the fun things he remembers. .. maybe offer to write down his memories for him. Ask if he wants to draw a picture about it. Stuff like that. And give him room. Give him emotional space. Plus, remember that you're probably doing his parents a HUGE favor by keeping him in a safe slave so THEY can process freely without him fir the day.

[Silly Songs]

There are many wonderful books about death that are geared toward young children. One of them is called " Freddy The Leaf" or similar title. Perfect for this time of year. It's probably a good idea to have a book or two on hand to read at story time from time to time . Children are often confused by death , even if it's a pet. Books can help validate and help them understand at a basic level. You may want parent feedback if you decide to have these books , so they know you're going to read about it once in a while.