child sent home for behavior

[daycare]

It's friday and it feels like Monday.

so dcm who is 2.5 takes our small grocery cart (metal) and rams it into dog for zero reason what-so-ever. Not saying there would be a good reason for what dcb did, just saying there was zero reason child did it.

dub knocks over dog, she is hurt. dab keeps on going as if nothing happened. I have been seeing an increase in his behavior and it hasn't been for the good.

So I called dcd who is off today and had him picked up. Of course dcd is mad. He said really, he's 2. I think you are going over board with this. I told dcd, sorry, this was just too much. I don't tolerate violence of any kind from any age. I also reminded dcd that we have been having aggression issues with this child for the past week and this was just the icing on the cake.

I told dcd that his behavior is more than I am willing to handle and that I need to keep other children safe from him, it's not fair for the other kids.

So now dcm is calling me. I didn't pick up.

I am soon mad right now. Tell me I did the right thing? OR did i go overboard.

BTW dcg is ok. Her toe is split open, but other than that she is fine. I already told her parents what happened.

[laundrymom]

I would call her back and come up with a plan to curb the behavior. If he's "just a typical boy" (this is sarcastic by the way, but if this is how she phrases it) then I would restate that no, it is not. It's more intense and violent than the other children you have had and a liability to the children he's with. That if we can't come up with a solution, then they can pick up his things.
I do not tolerate parents who don't have my back. Nine times out of ten they are the first to complain when their own child is the victim.

[auntymimi]

I have 2's that would be heartbroken to see something like that, let alone do it. That is so not ok. Dad's reaction to t he situation is deplorable. He did this to the family dog, whom he presumably sees, pets, and plays with every day? Wow. No you are not overreacting. Dad is under reacting , majorly.

[daycare]

I would call her back and come up with a plan to curb the behavior. If he's "just a typical boy" (this is sarcastic by the way, but if this is how she phrases it) then I would restate that no, it is not. It's more intense and violent than the other children you have had and a liability to the children he's with. That if we can't come up with a solution, then they can pick up his things.
I do not tolerate parents who don't have my back. Nine times out of ten they are the first to complain when their own child is the victim.

normally these parents are the best ever. When I have talked to them about his aggression in the past, they have apologized profusely and have asked what they can do at home to make certain he does not do it here anymore. I did ask them that if they are rough housing not to do it anymore, because DCB is too little to understand when it is or isn't ok.

I am so sad. HE did this on purpose, I just looked at my video and he is yelling MOVE as he backs the cart up and rams it into her.

He used to be so sweet and loving and little by little I am seeing him turn on us.

One thing that I just thought of. His parents mounted a TV in his room and he sleeps with it on. so he goes to bed with it and wakes up to it daily. This was just done about a month ago and looking back is about the same time frame that I saw a change in behavior here. Do you think this could have something to do with it?

[laundrymom]

Why would anyone put a tv in a kid's room and leave it on?
Let me guess. He's grouchy, having issues with tasks and routines that used to be fine, is showing behavior much like a shift worker when they are forced to work over and have no coffee?!?!
I bet he's exhausted. Recommend they remove the TV. Read to him instead.
I'm 43 and I still have fond memories of my aunt reading. Sweet pickles books to me as a child. I've not one memory of a TV show that I hold nearly as dear.

normally these parents are the best ever. When I have talked to them about his aggression in the past, they have apologized profusely and have asked what they can do at home to make certain he does not do it here anymore. I did ask them that if they are rough housing not to do it anymore, because DCB is too little to understand when it is or isn't ok.

I am so sad. HE did this on purpose, I just looked at my video and he is yelling MOVE as he backs the cart up and rams it into her.

He used to be so sweet and loving and little by little I am seeing him turn on us.

One thing that I just thought of. His parents mounted a TV in his room and he sleeps with it on. so he goes to bed with it and wakes up to it daily. This was just done about a month ago and looking back is about the same time frame that I saw a change in behavior here. Do you think this could have something to do with it?

[littletots]

Certainly, overstimulated, lack of restful sleep. Good you thought of it. Sorry your having to deal w accident on this fabulous Friday.

[daycare]

Why would anyone put a tv in a kid's room and leave it on?
Let me guess. He's grouchy, having issues with tasks and routines that used to be fine, is showing behavior much like a shift worker when they are forced to work over and have no coffee?!?!
I bet he's exhausted. Recommend they remove the TV. Read to him instead.
I'm 43 and I still have fond memories of my aunt reading. Sweet pickles books to me as a child. I've not one memory of a TV show that I hold nearly as dear.

he is like an old person with task. anything that he is asked to do is like he has a frozen brain moment and just stands there like he doesn't know what to do. like put your shoes on or put your dish in the sink. these are thing we do daily. everything is like pulling teeth with him to get him to do even very little simple things. when its time to eat he sits and stares at the walls as if he does;t know what he is supposed to do, same goes with everything else.

I don't know why I didn't think of the TV being the culprit earlier.

[daycare]

does anyone have any articles on toddlers and TV? I tried to goole it, but came up with nothing good.

thanks

[Silly Songs]

It's been recommended that children NOT have a television in their room. Somewhere I read that there is a correlation between TV in a child's room and poor performance in school. Maybe the American Academy of Pediatrics.

[Unregistered]

The parents may be less understanding and supportive this time if this is the first time his poor behavior at daycare has negatively impacted them, instead of just you.

[Blackcat31]

The parents may be less understanding and supportive this time if this is the first time his poor behavior at daycare has negatively impacted them, instead of just you.

People will rarely change their behavior until it becomes an issue to them.

These parents will hopefully learn from this.

[Blackcat31]

does anyone have any articles on toddlers and TV? I tried to goole it, but came up with nothing good.

thanks

I wouldn't bother.

Other than informing the parents in general about good sleep habits, I learned a long time ago that the parents who allow their really young children to have a TV in their bedrooms or allow their young children to be exposed to loads of screen time DO know about the negative reports that correlate with bad behaviors in their child but sadly, they just don't care or try hard enough to make a change because it would mean their child might cry. *gasp*

[daycare]

I wouldn't bother.

Other than informing the parents in general about good sleep habits, I learned a long time ago that the parents who allow their really young children to have a TV in their bedrooms or allow their young children to be exposed to loads of screen time DO know about the negative reports that correlate with bad behaviors in their child but sadly, they just don't care or try hard enough to make a change because it would mean their child might cry. *gasp*

this is a double post, thought I deleted it...

[Josiegirl]

Adding onto what BC said, not only are they afraid to let their child cry but their child might require some extra effort on the parents' part to get through till bedtime. Either the parents are so busy at night after they pick up or too tired, or don't want to bother, or it's just so much easier to plop their child/ren in front of the tube. I 2nd suggesting reading at night as opposed to tv. My favorite memories with my own kids were of reading and cuddling at bedtime.

Do the parents get a chance to see the video? Just hearing about it, maybe it doesn't sound all that terrible to them and just a 'kids will be kids' kinda thing. Yes, kids can be aggressive but if it's been a problem in the past now is the time to nip it in the bud before he gets into ft school where kids may be aggressive back. Then I'll bet dcd won't think it's a small deal.

[Heidi]

Adding onto what BC said, not only are they afraid to let their child cry but their child might require some extra effort on the parents' part to get through till bedtime. Either the parents are so busy at night after they pick up or too tired, or don't want to bother, or it's just so much easier to plop their child/ren in front of the tube. I 2nd suggesting reading at night as opposed to tv. My favorite memories with my own kids were of reading and cuddling at bedtime.

Do the parents get a chance to see the video? Just hearing about it, maybe it doesn't sound all that terrible to them and just a 'kids will be kids' kinda thing. Yes, kids can be aggressive but if it's been a problem in the past now is the time to nip it in the bud before he gets into ft school where kids may be aggressive back. Then I'll bet dcd won't think it's a small deal.

I agree...show them the video. Then, it's time to have the "what can we do to help him so this doesn't happen again?" and "hey, since this is fairly recent, do you suppose the TV could be the culprit?" conversations.