Peace table?

[Josiegirl]

Does anyone use a concept like that? Browsing this a.m. I found the idea of setting up a peace table, where if 2 dcks are having a dispute, they get their [symbol of peace, could be a rock or flower, etc.] and bring it to the table, each taking their turns[they hold their symbol] discussing what's bothering them and how they can make it work. Rules beforehand are spelled out such as using "I feel upset when....." statements, being respectful, keeping calm, making sure everyone has their say and is listened to, etc.

How well does it work and could it work for 3 yo's?

[childcaremom]

I think it's a great idea. I would be prepared to help and assist.

Do they have a chance for cooldown before/after? I think that might be helpful, also.

[Josiegirl]

I would think they'd have to be cooled off enough before they headed to the peace table. Otherwise, all I can picture is yelling, screaming, and throwing the rock at the other one. You know how emotional 3 yo's can be.

[childcaremom]

Yes, I was thinking a rock or two may fly.

I think it's a really good idea, though. Will teach them useful tools and might even eventually have the kids suggest going to the table to work things out.

[Play Care]

I would think they'd have to be cooled off enough before they headed to the peace table. Otherwise, all I can picture is yelling, screaming, and throwing the rock at the other one. You know how emotional 3 yo's can be.

One of the K teachers in our district had one.

It was kind of the town joke

According to multiple witnesses, there was no peace at that table ::::::

[Unregistered]

I think it's complicating just doing a talk right where they are when the problem happens. Like, say 2 are holding a toy, pulling it from each other. "I had it!" "I want it"... With the peace table, it seems they are wanting us to either get both kids to this other location somehow (I can't really see Both just going along) or they are saying the kids would just go on their own volition. I don't see that happening at any age much less under 5 years.

So wouldn't it make sense to use these conflict resolution techniques right there where they are. Like sit down next to the problem situation and say, "What happened?" (let them each have their turn to say the story)..."I see you both want that crane"... "But there is only one crane"... (see if they agree to that being the problem)... (then ask for suggestions) "What can we do?"... etc. Agree on a solution, etc...

If you are too busy to do all that, then you would also be too busy to make the peace table work. So, I don't get what is the benefit of the peace table. I can't imagine the idea is the kids are going to go sit there and work it out without any guidance. Maybe after a lot of experience doing it with an adult.

[daycare]

I love this idea. I think it would work great if they both had an opportunity to calm down first and when they find their inner peace then they can come to the table to share it.

I have something like this, but it's not a peace table. it's a love lounge. it's just a heart shaped pillow I won at a fair many year ago in a corner. after the kids have cooled we meet there and talk it out, show love and respect to each other and talk about how we can do things differently if we feel that way ever again.

in the corner there is a wall of pictures of kids displaying all kinds of emotional faces.

I do like the idea of the rock or flower thing.

[Josiegirl]

I think it's complicating just doing a talk right where they are when the problem happens. Like, say 2 are holding a toy, pulling it from each other. "I had it!" "I want it"... With the peace table, it seems they are wanting us to either get both kids to this other location somehow (I can't really see Both just going along) or they are saying the kids would just go on their own volition. I don't see that happening at any age much less under 5 years.

So wouldn't it make sense to use these conflict resolution techniques right there where they are. Like sit down next to the problem situation and say, "What happened?" (let them each have their turn to say the story)..."I see you both want that crane"... "But there is only one crane"... (see if they agree to that being the problem)... (then ask for suggestions) "What can we do?"... etc. Agree on a solution, etc...

If you are too busy to do all that, then you would also be too busy to make the peace table work. So, I don't get what is the benefit of the peace table. I can't imagine the idea is the kids are going to go sit there and work it out without any guidance. Maybe after a lot of experience doing it with an adult.

I would definitely guide them through it, that's what I do now. I think the label of 'peace table' (or whatever cause love lounge is cool too) and changing the location(as opposed to doing it right there at that moment) allows the child to calm down a bit and get removed from where the whole problem surfaced, like starting at a neutral point. Honestly, I can see a couple of my dcks latching right on to that idea cause it's different, has a cool element to it(using a rock or flower etc.). That's why I asked if anyone thought it might work with 3 yos.
We all use different tools to help teach everything, even conflict resolution. I just thought this would be something different to try that might work, is all.

[Unregistered]

My dd's teacher uses a peace flower and it actually works really well. When we're arguing about something, she's actually said "we need a peace flower!"

[childcaremom]

Josiegirl, did you ever end up using a variation of this idea?

I'm getting ready to implement a peace corner. A place to go when a child is upset and needs some time to calm down, whether they are upset or angry or sad or whatever.

I am going to have some emotion cards, a talking stick (or flower), some tactile items, sensory bottles, etc. I am adding my tingshas for them to ring when they are ready to come back and join us.

[Josiegirl]

No, I haven't yet. I decided there are only 2 dcks that may benefit from it and for now, I just have them sit down where they are and calm down, then we talk. I thought it sounded like a good idea; maybe when my kids get a little bit older.
I like how you're going to set yours up and hope it works out! Please update as you use it, will you?

[childcaremom]

Yes I will. I only have my older one for a few more months and then I'll have to reevaluate the tools as my group will be quite young