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So my sibling set is here for dinner some nights now. Before I was only doing breakfast before school. Mom's hours have changed so I have them for dinner now. They are picky eaters but I usually get them to eat something. They are a year apart in age and the 6 year old is the issue right now. She talks non-stop. I understand meal times are for conversation, I get that but am not sure how to deal with the fact that she doesn't get any eating done for the talking. I am talking foods she will eat, well would if she wasn't talking. I don't want to say no talking during meals, because I don't believe that is the right answer. How have the rest of you handled this?
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I don't have this problem with my DCK so much as my SD -- she, however, does it because she doesn't want to eat "real" food because her mother will give her snacks and junk or whatever she wants when she returns home. With her, we do have to insist that she must finish her dinner before we can participate in fun activities such as talking or family time. However, with your case, maybe you can come up with a rule? That while we love talking with our friends and family to share about our day or thoughts, we have to eat to grow up strong! Then, maybe you can have an around the table -- each person has an alotted amount of time to share something, then it becomes the next person's turn, during which we must remain quiet and eat so that we can be good listeners! So if you have at least 4 people with 2 minutes each turn, that's about 6 minutes the DCG should be expected to quietly eat and listen...then, as you finish up eating, you have the freedom to start actual back and forth conversation. So that's something for them to look forward to after the meal.
Another thing we've had to do with my SD (on a more drastic level) is if everyone finishes but her, everyone else is excused from the table while she may have to sit and finish her meal. Either myself or my DH will remain at the table to encourage her, but we won't entertain her. Rather, we encourage her to finish so as to join us. But if it comes down to she just won't eat, we've excused her with the understanding that she will not be given snacks later if she becomes hungry. Her food may be put away, and if she's hungry later, it may be reheated and offered later. Of course, that's just our family rule
but if it's an option, it might help!
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A timer.
Set the timer.
Tell her dinner time is a great time to talk but the number one goal is to eat the meal within the allotted meal time.
Eat with them and model good dinner time behaviors.
Use little reminders throughout the meal.
"Uh oh, dinner time is going to be over soon so you better stop chatting so much and start eating"
"It's okay to chat but lets remember why we're sitting here"
"More eating, less talking"
etc etc.... once the timer goes off, dinner is over.
Even if they still have food.
Sometimes those natural consequences teach us a whole lot more than anything else ever could.
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My entire family are talkers. They socialize, I relax & eat. I'll remind them dinner is over by 630p and anyone finished gets to help tidy up.
would you believe I'm left to clear empty plates. ::
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I allow ample time for eating and extra for talking. I don't encourage. I don't remind. I simply say. Guys. 5 minutes left for dinner. Then I'm clearing dishes away. When the time is up I excuse them from the table.
They eat as much or as little as they want but I don't wait for them. When they go to school they won't care about it. I must train them to eat before they go to school.Comment
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In my preschool, we listen to one book on tape during the start of lunch. I do tell them no talking during the story so we can hear it and focus on our food. After the story is done (usually 10 minutes or so), we're 'allowed' to talk, as long as we're still eating. Maybe that would help?Comment
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At Waldorf schools, they simply have the first 10 minutes of a meal be a quiet time. Then, the teachers tell a little real-life story. After that, the children are invited to tell a story. Since the teachers model fairly quiet tones, the children follow suit. These are 3-6 year olds.
I spent a morning there and I thought it was kind of cool. The children did well, and enjoyed each other's little stories.Comment
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