Crying at naptime

[NillaWafers]

So my new DCG who has been here about four weeks now cries every day at naptime. She will cry as soon as you tell her to lay down her head, "mama/dada" and it will continue for about 15-30 minutes until she falls asleep. It disturbs the other kids, I used to move her to the living room until I realized she liked it so I stopped (didn't want to encourage it). Now she is waking about 30 minutes earlier than the kids and crying, I don't want to remove her because I feel it rewards her crying.

However ignoring it is not working. She had a tough adjustment, she would cry at the door at all day long. now she tells her mom goodbye without a tear, and I feel she breaks out the sobs of mama and dada when she isn't getting her way. I have been ignoring it but it is really starting to grate on me!!

[Play Care]

How old?
I would just move her. Some kids needs to do certain things to settle themselves, especially if they're younger.

I always figure we can try to get everyone back together in a few weeks/month.

[NillaWafers]

Yes she is two. It occurred to me that it could be her way of sleeping, I will have to ask her mom how she puts herself to sleep at home. I guess I have been spoiled by great nappers so far.

[nothingwithoutjoy]

Nap is when all the fun stops, so it's when kids remember that their parents are gone. I find I often have teary kids at nap when they've had trouble adjusting to being away from their parents. It makes sense to me that they'd cry then. You can fix it with reassurance and comfort and routine.

I have one 2-year-old right now who'd say all morning "it's not naptime, it's not naptime," just to reassure herself. At nap, she'd cry hysterically. It's been decreasing over time, and today was the first day with no tears and no "not naptime." I've just been working on helping her work through the sadness. I sit with her at nap, and talk talk talk talk (telling stories, retelling her day, articulating "you miss your mommy. You miss your daddy. You want them. They are at work right now. We're going to have a nice cozy nap, and then we'll eat snack, and then we'll play, and then they'll come," etc, etc, etc. I told her the story of the squirrels in our yard, and every day after, she'd say through her tears "tell me about broken tail.") I'd talk quieter and quieter and she'd have to get quiet to hear me. Talk is what worked for her; for other kids it's been singing or cuddling, but it always helps to acknowledge the feelings and then soothe to sleep. We began with 100% attention on her and now, today, all it took is 2 minutes of me sitting beside her, singing but doing nothing else.

As difficult as it is, and as horrible as it is to have everyone else disturbed by it, it helps to remember that the feelings are real and she is trying to communicate something.

[jenboo]

I had one two year old who had to be in his own room. He just wouldn't sleep long if he was with the other kids. Once he woke up, he wouldn't stay quite.. And I tried everything!
Once he was back in his own room, he slept the whole time again... Still talked to himself when he woke up but at least it didn't bother anyone else.

[Heidi]

Some of mine feel like they have more control about nap if they get to go pick a stuffed animal to sleep with. Then, I tuck them and the animal in, and say things to the animal. Like "Now, Mr. Bear, you be sure to be nice an quiet so your friends can sleep, ok?" Then, the bear gets hugs and kisses, too.