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I'm usually pretty mindful of letting the parents discover when a baby has reached a new milestone, but I was pretty excited yesterday when a baby started crawling and shared with mom. She was so mad and told me to never tell her when he does something new. It really rubbed me the wrong way! I spend 50+ hours a week with this child! Could I get a teensy bit of credit for his achievements? I don't know I just thought it was rude. I know she doesn't want to miss out, but I meant nothing mean by it and what did she expect? She wants to know every single diaper change and ounce of milk he drinks, but not when he did something special? Ugh. Do you share milestones?
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I don't work with wee little ones, so I have no personal experience with that. But I will say when I worked in a center during staff meetings they would always remind infant staff not to tell parents of a milestone that was met while at DC. They suggested we say something like "Junior was really trying walk today, I bet those first steps are coming soon!" instead of "Junior took his first step today!"
Personally, as a parent I would not be upset to know my child met a milestone while at daycare or with family. I mean... if my child spent an average of 50 hours per week in someone else's care I think I would be worried if at least one milestone wasn't met while outside of my care. -
I never do! If a parent asks if I have seen Sally crawl, I say she really looked ready today, has she at home? I want parents to see it "first", because they are missing out on so much of their child's childhood, I let them be the first to see all new things they learn. But, I also, don't expect recognition from the parents for what the kids learn while in my care, as long as the kids are happy and learning new things I feel like I am doing a good job.Comment
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I definitely wouldn't tell. The parents are missing out on so much. It makes them sad unnecessarily. And I don't expect any credit for a natural milestone. I honestly don't know what you mean by that. Of course they want to know every ounce and diaper. Because they are making sure the child is healthy and well cared for- as they should. But why take the simple joy from them of seeing their baby's 'first steps'?Comment
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I really need to get better at that. I've had a bad attitude lately because I feel like I'm doing a lot of work that no one notices. Deep down I know it's really not that big of a deal who sees what first. I just get frustrated because the parents take credit for all the awesome things their kids are doing and I'm doing a lot of the "parenting" too. Just part of the job I suppose!Comment
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I tell the parents to keep an eye out because it looked like they were going to start crawling, walking, etc any day! Once the parents have seen it the first time, I video it anytime I see it for more than a few seconds and text it to them. I only have 3 kids though. I know it would be nearly impossible for anyone with a full house to send videos to parents frequently.
The only thing I did tell the parents was that they could roll over, because that could be a safety issue.Comment
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I tell them. I don't care if it makes them sad. It is not about them. It is about their child and the many milestones they will hit as they grow. If they want to be the first to see every little milestone, they can do what I do and stay home with their kid. It sounds harsh, but I am sick of sugar coating things so the parent won't feel bad and I work my ass off to support and encourage their child to learn and grow. If they can't handle that and it hurts their feelings, they have options, but they don't get to dictate what they want me to tell them and not tell them. If you want to know if Johnny pooped today, I will tell you, but I will also let them know he learned to roll over too! Yea, Johnny! happyfaceComment
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Firsts NEVER happen at daycare (even when they do.)Comment
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One of my kids had a lot of medical issues, so I had a daily journal for her. Since there were always therapists in my house, chances were good they would see it too. I was torn about what to do if she took her first steps here. Luckily, mom came in one morning and said, "She took some steps this weekend, so it's OK to take pictures and brag on Facebook." :
: I did see her first long walk behind a push toy and got a video for mom.
Other than her, nothing happens here.Comment
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I ask the dcf's if they want me to tell them milestones or not during the contract signing.
Some say yes, some say no.Comment
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I read childcare article to ask dcp at interview if they want to know. Surprised to find most said they prefer NOT to know. So now I don't even ask & I don't tell. So know exactly how you feel about dcm reaction. I've heard of family disagreements when dcd sees something dcm hasn't yet. You can always share with us!Comment
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Thanks for your replies! I had no idea it was so taboo! I guess I will have to be better at it. My daycare provider used to tell me milestones so I could look out for them. I kind of assumed she would see most of them since she spent the most time with my daughter. Is this like a recent thing where parents want to see everything first? I mean they have to know that we will see some of them? Right? It just seems fake. Well, Customer is always right I suppose! I guess it was just the way she yelled at me that got me upset.Comment
My philosophy, too 
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