Just termed and feeling terrible

[spedmommy4]

I run a full inclusion family childcare and have several kids with special needs in my program. I have had one 4 year old boy for about 4 months. I suspect he is on the spectrum but no diagnosis.

The level of care he needs is often one-to-one. I have been recommending that parents follow through with a school district evaluation since June, so I could have help . . . But they haven't secured services yet.

Today was the worst. I was alone with six kids. He jumped from the top of a climbing structure and nearly injured himself. He had meltdowns for 3 hours. I texted mom. She ignored me. I emailed a termination notice to her and dad.

I still feel rotten. Now he will have no special education support. (I am a licensed special education teacher) Why can't parents just follow through???

[Thriftylady]

I run a full inclusion family childcare and have several kids with special needs in my program. I have had one 4 year old boy for about 4 months. I suspect he is on the spectrum but no diagnosis.

The level of care he needs is often one-to-one. I have been recommending that parents follow through with a school district evaluation since June, so I could have help . . . But they haven't secured services yet.

Today was the worst. I was alone with six kids. He jumped from the top of a climbing structure and nearly injured himself. He had meltdowns for 3 hours. I texted mom. She ignored me. I emailed a termination notice to her and dad.

I still feel rotten. Now he will have no special education support. (I am a licensed special education teacher) Why can't parents just follow through???

I know you feel bad, but hopefully it will be what they need to push them over the edge of doing something. You may have done them a favor.

[Blackcat31]

I run a full inclusion family childcare and have several kids with special needs in my program. I have had one 4 year old boy for about 4 months. I suspect he is on the spectrum but no diagnosis.

The level of care he needs is often one-to-one. I have been recommending that parents follow through with a school district evaluation since June, so I could have help . . . But they haven't secured services yet.

Today was the worst. I was alone with six kids. He jumped from the top of a climbing structure and nearly injured himself. He had meltdowns for 3 hours. I texted mom. She ignored me. I emailed a termination notice to her and dad.

I still feel rotten. Now he will have no special education support. (I am a licensed special education teacher) Why can't parents just follow through???

Because most figure someone else will just take care of it for them.

You probably taught them what will be the MOST valuable lesson ever.... They must advocate for THEIR child as no one else has that vested interest so it is THEIR responsibility.

[Blackcat31]

I still feel rotten.

:hug: :hug:

Totally understand.

[daycare]

I had this happen last year. I tired to advocate for the child in so many ways, but the parents were not on board with me. I had to let him go. I felt so sad and worried that no one would get him the help he needed, but I just had to realize that it was not my problem to fix. the child is in school now and the parents never took care of it. I know his teacher very well. She told me he was suspended 3 days into school for biting another child and then two weeks later for threatening to kill one of the lunch ladies.

She told me that the school is demanding a full eval and the parents are pushing back. I feel so bad for the kid....

bless your heart. You had to do what was best for you and your program. As BC says what happens at home can be considered an accident, but what happens at daycare can be considered criminal. YOu just can't let a child be a safety issue, even to themselves.

[spedmommy4]

Because most figure someone else will just take care of it for them.

You probably taught them what will be the MOST valuable lesson ever.... They must advocate for THEIR child as no one else has that vested interest so it is THEIR responsibility.

My husband said the same thing. I was willing to keep him if they had SPED support. I just can't do it alone. I have been telling them for months. They blew it off. It makes me mad and sad at the same time.

[Rockgirl]

You did the right thing, even though it feels lousy. You have to do what is right for the group as a whole.

[midaycare]

Just ... bless you.

[laundrymom]

You aren't failing him. His parents are. As hard as it is for a parent to come to terms w a special need, it is that parents job to do it. You were upfront. You were loving and you tried. You did everything right. You provided more than most probably would. Rest easy, my friend. You can lead a horse to water, but taking that first sip is all on them.....

[Mom2Two]

Went though something similar last year. I toughed it out with a difficult child. Mom was sort of supportive but not fully. I realized that in the future I would only tackle a difficult child if the parents were also fully engaged in tackling it. No way was I going to try to do it on my own.
One funny thing I've noticed about parents and their children's behavior is that they always think of their child as average behavior. Some parents are worried that their child has bad behavior when really they are just normal. And the ones with awful children are defensive, saying it's just the child's stage/age.

[Ariana]

It is a shame that parents cannot get their acts together in these types of situations. We have all been there I am sure. I also had to term a special needs boy because of parental denial and it is really sad because I have a lot of experience with special needs children. In my case, shortly after terming the mother came to her senses and the child got a proper diagnosis and hopefully the care he needed.

What you did might just save this boys life. It might be the wakeup call they needed.

[spedmommy4]

It is a shame that parents cannot get their acts together in these types of situations. We have all been there I am sure. I also had to term a special needs boy because of parental denial and it is really sad because I have a lot of experience with special needs children. In my case, shortly after terming the mother came to her senses and the child got a proper diagnosis and hopefully the care he needed.

What you did might just save this boys life. It might be the wakeup call they needed.

I hope so. He is an only child and I believe that they think of him as high spirited. I told them so many times. I can't be the only one vested in making things better. Sadly, because of this, I probably won't ever give parents the benefit of the doubt again.