Help With Own Child !!!

[Unregistered]

So i have been a home daycare since my son was one year old. He just turned 4. When i opened the daycare it seemed i got every kid kicked out of every other daycare and had to take my losses and term a lot of neighborhood kids (extremely awkward) . Anyhow some of those kids were completely without parental guidance and were plain mean to my baby. So i dont know if that has something to do with his behavior now...? So i just re opened after 2 weeks vacation and all he could talk about was wishing the kids were here. We are back and he mauled all the kids literally and i had to redirect constantly. So i have been dealing with a lot of behaviors and i NEVER see these with the other kids... He has been a terrorizer including hitting me when i say no cookies during daycare.... which has never been allowed. He buggs everyone seemingly just to get attention. Like if you want that chair , I want it. If you dont like that i am doing it longer... Now the kids are telling parents their day is either good or bad depending on how my son was that day.
Now its not an option for me to send him to another daycare due to our rural residence.
Any suggestions.... HELP!!!!

[Play Care]

I found my own kids to be the most challenging the day care and I know a lot of other providers would say the same thing I always think most of the behavior issues comes from sharing their home, their parent and maybe even some of their toys every day.

As for his aggression/behavior - how are you dealing with it when it happens? What are the consequences for his actions? At 4, I don't know that I'd give him a lot of chances if he were being aggressive. Especially since it seems the other kids are having anxiety over it...

Is he getting a lot of your positive one on one attention at other times (ie: naps, evening, weekends?) Can you use nap time "treats" to reward good behavior? My own kids at 4 would watch a movie occasionally during nap time in my room. the other kids napped in a separate room so they never knew.

Does he have a "life" outside of daycare? I sent my own kids to a traditional morning only preschool when they were 4. It was three mornings a week, but they loved it and it was helpful for them to "separate" from the day care.

Are his toys and things completely separate from day care? (the answer here should be yes) If Dad is in the picture does he ever "pick" your son up from day care to give him a break from the kids/stimulation?
Are you able to reassure the parents that you are capable and handling this as you would misbehavior from THEIR kids? Or are they feeling/seeing that you are struggling?

I will say that when my oldest DD was 3, we had a really hard time with behavior (not aggressive, just bossy and sassy). I was at wit's end and made a LOT of excuses for her. I let things slide because I felt bad because she had to share her home, her mom, etc. It made things much harder moving forward. Take your feelings out of it and try to view the behavior as you would if it were a dck.

[childcaremom]

I found my own kids to be the most challenging the day care and I know a lot of other providers would say the same thing I always think most of the behavior issues comes from sharing their home, their parent and maybe even some of their toys every day.

As for his aggression/behavior - how are you dealing with it when it happens? What are the consequences for his actions? At 4, I don't know that I'd give him a lot of chances if he were being aggressive. Especially since it seems the other kids are having anxiety over it...

Is he getting a lot of your positive one on one attention at other times (ie: naps, evening, weekends?) Can you use nap time "treats" to reward good behavior? My own kids at 4 would watch a movie occasionally during nap time in my room. the other kids napped in a separate room so they never knew.

Does he have a "life" outside of daycare? I sent my own kids to a traditional morning only preschool when they were 4. It was three mornings a week, but they loved it and it was helpful for them to "separate" from the day care.

Are his toys and things completely separate from day care? (the answer here should be yes) If Dad is in the picture does he ever "pick" your son up from day care to give him a break from the kids/stimulation?
Are you able to reassure the parents that you are capable and handling this as you would misbehavior from THEIR kids? Or are they feeling/seeing that you are struggling?

I will say that when my oldest DD was 3, we had a really hard time with behavior (not aggressive, just bossy and sassy). I was at wit's end and made a LOT of excuses for her. I let things slide because I felt bad because she had to share her home, her mom, etc. It made things much harder moving forward. Take your feelings out of it and try to view the behavior as you would if it were a dck.

My son was always my hardest, esp at 4

Great suggestions above. Good luck!

[Rockgirl]

I found my own kids to be the most challenging the day care and I know a lot of other providers would say the same thing I always think most of the behavior issues comes from sharing their home, their parent and maybe even some of their toys every day.

As for his aggression/behavior - how are you dealing with it when it happens? What are the consequences for his actions? At 4, I don't know that I'd give him a lot of chances if he were being aggressive. Especially since it seems the other kids are having anxiety over it...

Is he getting a lot of your positive one on one attention at other times (ie: naps, evening, weekends?) Can you use nap time "treats" to reward good behavior? My own kids at 4 would watch a movie occasionally during nap time in my room. the other kids napped in a separate room so they never knew.

Does he have a "life" outside of daycare? I sent my own kids to a traditional morning only preschool when they were 4. It was three mornings a week, but they loved it and it was helpful for them to "separate" from the day care.

Are his toys and things completely separate from day care? (the answer here should be yes) If Dad is in the picture does he ever "pick" your son up from day care to give him a break from the kids/stimulation?
Are you able to reassure the parents that you are capable and handling this as you would misbehavior from THEIR kids? Or are they feeling/seeing that you are struggling?

I will say that when my oldest DD was 3, we had a really hard time with behavior (not aggressive, just bossy and sassy). I was at wit's end and made a LOT of excuses for her. I let things slide because I felt bad because she had to share her home, her mom, etc. It made things much harder moving forward. Take your feelings out of it and try to view the behavior as you would if it were a dck.

Yes, all good suggestions! My son was a toot when he was 3-4.

[Unregistered]

I found my own kids to be the most challenging the day care and I know a lot of other providers would say the same thing I always think most of the behavior issues comes from sharing their home, their parent and maybe even some of their toys every day.

As for his aggression/behavior - how are you dealing with it when it happens? What are the consequences for his actions? At 4, I don't know that I'd give him a lot of chances if he were being aggressive. Especially since it seems the other kids are having anxiety over it...

Is he getting a lot of your positive one on one attention at other times (ie: naps, evening, weekends?) Can you use nap time "treats" to reward good behavior? My own kids at 4 would watch a movie occasionally during nap time in my room. the other kids napped in a separate room so they never knew.

Does he have a "life" outside of daycare? I sent my own kids to a traditional morning only preschool when they were 4. It was three mornings a week, but they loved it and it was helpful for them to "separate" from the day care.

Are his toys and things completely separate from day care? (the answer here should be yes) If Dad is in the picture does he ever "pick" your son up from day care to give him a break from the kids/stimulation?
Are you able to reassure the parents that you are capable and handling this as you would misbehavior from THEIR kids? Or are they feeling/seeing that you are struggling?

I will say that when my oldest DD was 3, we had a really hard time with behavior (not aggressive, just bossy and sassy). I was at wit's end and made a LOT of excuses for her. I let things slide because I felt bad because she had to share her home, her mom, etc. It made things much harder moving forward. Take your feelings out of it and try to view the behavior as you would if it were a dck.

Thanks for your input,

So when he is agressive there are no choices and he goes directly to time out in the hall, where he tries to annoy me by opening doors close by etc. I ignore it and continue on until the 4 min timer goes off then i talk to him asking him why he thinks he was unable to participate followed by a clear hands are not for hitting short lecture.
For the snatching and bugging others I try to put him in their shoes ... if he would like to be treated that way etc.

I think bossy and sassy would better explain him too :/

Normally dad takes him on fridays because he is home but recently we are renovating so he has been busy. Our two boys share a room so its crowded but yes all their stuff and room is off limits to daycare . Our renovation will enable the two boys to have their own rooms and i think that will help.

Also i used to let him watch a movie at nap time and now the kids are all not napping so they are in the living area having quiet time and thats where our only tv is. We dont watch a lot of tv as we dont have cable so it was a treat. We are considering a tv downstairs when the reno is complete. We do not like our family to be spending a lot of time on devices and watching screens.

I have let the only parent with the child having anxiety know that i am taking two different courses in the next two months that should upgrade some skills As well i have been talking to my resources to get more input. I will also try to be more aware of my feelings because it is harder when its your own kid.

A couple things I am going to try are having cd books for him to look at while listening or games in his room for his own special time where he gets to choose instead of me programming his entire day. Then when daycare is over some mom time.

As for preschool its only 2 hours long where I am and that would mean me driving 25 min to the preschool with 5 kids only to turn around with the 4 daycare kids in 30 min after getting back to the house to pick him up again. We have a farm and that takes a lot of looking after to make time for anything extra on weekends.

[childcaremom]

A couple things I am going to try are having cd books for him to look at while listening or games in his room for his own special time where he gets to choose instead of me programming his entire day. Then when daycare is over some mom time.

I put together some quiet time boxes. Puzzles, colouring boxes, small magna doodles, stickers, small toys, etc. These only come out during quiet time so are special treats for the children. Might work for your guy, too.

[Movingforward]

Children always gives their parents the business and that includes our own! Mine is turning 3 and boy has it been an adventure!
In addition to what was mentioned above, maybe incorporating more movement activities or outdoor play to help them exert some energy. Sensory play can also calm them, at age 4 they are still very much egocentric so it's hard to put themselves in other people's shoes. It's tough but hang in there, it's a phase that will pass!