Mouthy Toddler

[LittleTikes]

I need some help, please. I'm trying to improve a situation that is inconsistent between my house and their home.

I have a very verbal and bright 3-year-old who has been making me want to eat my feelings for the last several weeks. A sample exchange goes something like this: Me: "Do you want more?" Her: "I SAID I WANT SOME MORE!!!!!" Me: "It's playtime." Her: "I'M DONE PLAYING TOYS!!!!!!! Her: "Here...TAKE THIS!!! TAKE THIS!!!!"

This is becoming a habit and unfortunately, her normal tone--loud and demanding. I've modeled, "Can I have a drink, please?" I've told her that we don't like to be talked to that way. I've withheld whatever, until she imitates a more respectful tone. We go over and over it, but it's still her default way to communicate.

She's the youngest of three and has a very reactive mom, so there's a lot of "TAKE IT!!!!" "NO!!! YOU TAKE IT!!!! that happens at home. Any hope or ideas besides what I'm doing?

[Preschool/daycare teacher]

That's what I do when I have a child acting like that. They don't get anything until they've asked respectfully. I wish I could offer more advice. I think just being consistent and following through every single time they demand something makes a little improvement. Especially if they are with me everyday. But it really is a long tiring process isn't it?

[Ariana]

She is a toddler so unfortunately this is not going to change overnight! Model, model, model some more and make sure you are not responding to abusive behavior. Tell her calmly that you will respond when she says things nicely.

[mamamanda]

That's what I do when I have a child acting like that. They don't get anything until they've asked respectfully. I wish I could offer more advice. I think just being consistent and following through every single time they demand something makes a little improvement. Especially if they are with me everyday. But it really is a long tiring process isn't it?

She is a toddler so unfortunately this is not going to change overnight! Model, model, model some more and make sure you are not responding to abusive behavior. Tell her calmly that you will respond when she says things nicely.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

I blatantly ignore it and if they persist with the demanding tone, I will say out loud to the group that I only respond to those who speak nicely and then go about my business. After a few times, all I have to do is sort of give them the look and they stop mid sentence and start over in a nicer tone. It can take awhile, but be consistent as the others said, make sure to model the way you want them to speak to you so they become used to hearing it.