Hi Everyone, I Need Some Advice, Please!!!

[dieu]

Intro:
So to start, I'd like to just say a little about myself. I just started up my own in home day care not too long ago, I've got all my certifications and I'm in the process of getting my child care license for my home. This is something I've been doing for a really long time, relatively speaking, so I just felt that it was right for me. I would like to think that I am not only a decent parent at the very least, but also a nurturing and competent child care provider. I treat the children with respect and love them like they're a part of an extended family... you know the whole 9 yards. Not only that but I charge the lowest rates in my area.

Problem I'm facing:
So a couple of months ago or so I had done a meet and greet with this woman and her husband, for their two daughters. They had actually canceled on me for the meet and greet twice prior, and had not contacted me for a week or so after the second time. That wasn't a great first impression on me, but I decided to give them the benefit of the doubt. When we finally got around to meeting they told me for sure that they both would be coming from M-F, 9AM-4PM, starting the next week, but they didn't contact me again, and so I ask about a week later what's up you know? They tell me their younger daughter(who I will now refer to as the 1 yo) will be there the following Friday. After that her mother tells me the following week the 1 yo will be there Thursday and Friday. So after half an hour of waiting around with my thumbs up my butt expecting this lady to show up I text, and she says "Oh sorry you know what I forgot to tell you, and she won't be there tomorrow either." She brings her the next week, but she only asked the day before. Let me just add that prior to all this during the meet and greet I told them multiple times to notify me a week in advance or at least a couple days in advance before they drop their child off. Now, keep in mind I don't have them under contract because I didn't want to do that until I actually got my home licensed as a child care facility. Anyways, two weeks in a row...no show! So I told her very politely and very clearly to at the very least tell me if she is not bringing her child. But it happens again of course, and there have also been multiple times where she has texted me just a few hours before, and once on my weekend off which she was aware of(in this instance I actually said no), that she was dropping her child off, period....and then would ask if it's okay. She also always drops her off a lot earlier, and picks her up later than she says she will. To me, personally, this is very disrespectful, I've been very polite about everything and have told them what I expected of them as parents many times, and it's hard for me to say no. I just don't like this behavior, I feel that she completely disregards everything I have told her multiple times, and just doesn't care. On top of all of this her child screams uncontrollably the entire time she is in my care if I do not carry her - standing up, she also scratches my daughter and throws things(when she can reach or has something in her hand) at my daughter if she comes near me, I know this is in NO WAY the child's fault, but it really upsets the other children and my own daughter of course. Not only this, but her behavior really makes me question her home situation. And the one time I did watch the 4 year old she told me that her younger sister just screams the whole time she's at home too. I just don't think this hassle is really worth my time.

With the way that she has been I'm afraid if I tell her I don't want to watch her child anymore she will get ignorant with me. She has also refereed another family to me and I'm afraid that she will bad mouth me to them, and that they will stop bring over their child who I absolutely adore. Not only this, but I have only done this once before and it didn't end too well and I'm afraid it'll be the same way.

So I know I typed A LOT and sorry for all this, but basically what I'm trying to ask is how do I politely tell them that I don't want them bringing their child over, with no hard feelings?

[Thriftylady]

The way I see it you have two options. Write up a contract and get her to sign it ASAP. It should spell out the days and times each week the child will be there and charge fees regardless of attendance. You only have so many slots you need to fill them with paying clients. She will either sign the contract and will have to follow policy or refuse, in which case she terms herself.

Or you just term her. Give a two week notice, tell her it isn't working out and be done with it.

[dieu]

I wanted to also ask am I just over reacting? I wanted to add the little part about myself because I think I'm a more than qualified candidate for the rates I charge, and I think I was being fair.....

[Unregistered]

The way I see it you have two options. Write up a contract and get her to sign it ASAP. It should spell out the days and times each week the child will be there and charge fees regardless of attendance. You only have so many slots you need to fill them with paying clients. She will either sign the contract and will have to follow policy or refuse, in which case she terms herself.

Or you just term her. Give a two week notice, tell her it isn't working out and be done with it.

Thanks for the advice, just one more question though....
I can still have her under a contract if I haven't received my child care license for my home?

[Thriftylady]

That depends. Are you operating legally by having kids before you have it? If not you need to quit providing care at all NOW because in some states that will keep you from getting a license.

[Crazy8]

without knowing where you live and what your licensing rules are we can't tell you if you are even able to watch 1 child without your license. But if you are in a state where you do not need your license to watch an unrelated child you absolutely can still have a contract with the rules and terms drawn up on it!

I understand that when you are just starting up its hard to turn down a possible client but if this is NOT the type of daycare you want to be running then you need to put your foot down now and end all the issues. They see you as a drop in babysitter who will take their child anytime they want - you need to fix that ASAP!

[dieu]

That depends. Are you operating legally by having kids before you have it? If not you need to quit providing care at all NOW because in some states that will keep you from getting a license.

Yes, in Illinois you may have an exemption if you have no more than 3 children under your care at a time including children of relatives, and children of your own. I was waiting on getting my home licensed because right now there are never any more than the 3 at a time. I have a couple drop ins who come every now and again, but I make sure that they're never here at the same time you know. That's another reason why it was always bothersome that the parents would always be last minute.

But a friend of mine is expecting in a few months and wants me to take care of her son and daughter, when she arrives...so I plan on being licensed by the end of next month! Pretty excited about that.

[Thriftylady]

Crazy 8 is right. I didn't do a very good job stating all that glad someone came along and did it for me.

In my case, I am legally unlicensed, and I have contracts with my families and a parent handbook. In my mind the handbook is just as important as the contract and you have to initial on the contract that you have read it and will abide by the policies.

[dieu]

without knowing where you live and what your licensing rules are we can't tell you if you are even able to watch 1 child without your license. But if you are in a state where you do not need your license to watch an unrelated child you absolutely can still have a contract with the rules and terms drawn up on it!

I understand that when you are just starting up its hard to turn down a possible client but if this is NOT the type of daycare you want to be running then you need to put your foot down now and end all the issues. They see you as a drop in babysitter who will take their child anytime they want - you need to fix that ASAP!

Okay, thank you very much! That answers my question about the contract.

[NeedaVaca]

Personally I think you should cut your losses with this family and start over, look for the kind of clients you want. Pay for the spot, not when they feel like coming. No early drop offs, don't answer the door or answer and tell them it's not the time you expected them and you will be ready for them at that time. Late fees for late pickups.

If you are going to be in this business learn to say no I wouldn't have scheduled the interview after 2 cancellations either. This forum will be very useful to you, you can learn a lot from some experienced providers!

[Thriftylady]

Yes, in Illinois you may have an exemption if you have no more than 3 children under your care at a time including children of relatives, and children of your own. I was waiting on getting my home licensed because right now there are never any more than the 3 at a time. I have a couple drop ins who come every now and again, but I make sure that they're never here at the same time you know. That's another reason why it was always bothersome that the parents would always be last minute.

But a friend of mine is expecting in a few months and wants me to take care of her son and daughter, when she arrives...so I plan on being licensed by the end of next month! Pretty excited about that.

Well as long as it is all legal, do a contract and handbook NOW. And have it with your friend as well when she starts with you. It clears up everyone's expectations of each other and keeps everyone on the same page. Many of us collect payment before the week of care. Some on Monday morning, many of us on Friday of the week before, to make sure we are getting paid.

[dieu]

Personally I think you should cut your losses with this family and start over, look for the kind of clients you want. Pay for the spot, not when they feel like coming. No early drop offs, don't answer the door or answer and tell them it's not the time you expected them and you will be ready for them at that time. Late fees for late pickups.

If you are going to be in this business learn to say no I wouldn't have scheduled the interview after 2 cancellations either. This forum will be very useful to you, you can learn a lot from some experienced providers!

I'm such a push over sometimes though....well a lot of the times. Hahah.
Thank you, those are actually really great ideas. I mean I was considering the late fees if I couldn't bring myself to actually just tell them I couldn't care for their daughter anymore.

[Unregistered]

Well as long as it is all legal, do a contract and handbook NOW. And have it with your friend as well when she starts with you. It clears up everyone's expectations of each other and keeps everyone on the same page. Many of us collect payment before the week of care. Some on Monday morning, many of us on Friday of the week before, to make sure we are getting paid.

Well right now the people whose infant I care for regularly, I went over the same things with them and they pay me in advance for the week on Mondays, never late. They're incredibly polite, and respect me as I do with them. They always let me know in advance if they're running a bit late or if they're gonna pick their son up early. Just all the things I asked for when we first met.
Even with my other two drop-ins, they always tell me a week ahead of time or so I asked, and actually neither has ever been late or too early you know.


But you're totally right.