A little off Topic. Second Grade

[Blackcat31]

Being dyslexic and chronically disorganized isn't a matter of not trying hard enough or dropping the ball as a parent. It's about a difference in the brain and brain chemistry that prevents such processes entirely. It's not an excuse, but you bet it's a very real and valid explanation.

I don't think she should be punished for those differences in the way her brain works.

She has and meets goals within the scope of her abilities, and that's ok. Indeed, she will need to find a career that suits her different abilities, and that's ok. Not everyone needs precision in life to function successfully.

X 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

My DS struggled all the way through school because he had issues with organization, remembering things that came easily for others and was "punished" accordingly.

Needless to say, his self-esteem plummeted. Right at that time in your life when you are just figuring out what that is and why it's important.

The "lesson" my son learned was he was not a good person and something MUST be wrong if he couldn't do something as simple as remember his Tuesday folder like the other kids did. He spent a lot of time in detention. Separated from the other kids and plunged into the middle of the kids that DID have behavioral issues verses learning or processing issues.

FWIW ~ My DS has an IQ of over 120. He WAS/IS one of the smartest, most intelligent people I know. He simply learned how to get from A to B in a different way than others.

[BabyMonkeys]

I'm actually LESS concerned about the supposed "yelling." Yelling is so subjective. I am from a large Italian family and tend to be loud. I never realized it wasn't normal until I started dating my husband in my mid-20's We would leave family gatherings and he would say "Don't they know they're in the same room?!" :: It's something I bring up during interviews because I don't want parents to think I'm a yeller. I'm not.

Too funny! I'm an only child from a quiet family. My husband is Puerto Rico and has a HUGE family. I thought that a family was a mom, dad and their children, anyone else is a relative. His family consists of anyone and every one that the have ever met.

In my house on the rare occasion someone was yelling, they were MAD! I don't speak Spanish, and whenever we would go over there I was scared to death. The scream at each other constantly and gesture wildly when they speak. I thought someone was going to start throwing punches all the time.

20 years later and I KNOW that they aren't fighting, but it still makes me uncomfortable. Thankfully they have learned my triggers and attempt to calm down a bit around me. I'm constantly telling my husband when he is on the phone to stop screaming. I'm pretty sure they could hear you a mile away without the phone!

I am going to go against most of the advice you have received so far and say that I think that the yelling IS a big deal. I'm not sure if it is something that your son's teacher will be able to correct though. Some people are just yellers, even when they don't mean to be. It is early enough in the year that I would seriously consider asking to have him transferred to another teacher. Your son should look forward to going to school and learning new things. If he dreads going to school because his teacher yelling is upsetting to him, he isn't getting the education he deserves.

[daycare]

Willow, I do not think that taking away a child's recess time alone will solve the problem but I do think it can be used as a step towards a solution. My DD also has disabilities and organization and focus are a real challenge. I teach my children that no matter what challenges they have they can never use them as an excuse. They will have jobs some day with real responsibilities that will need to be accomplished by the end of the day, week or quarter. They will need to take care of all their responsibilities in that time line. So when my DD has forgotten her books at school and can not do her homework I do not find it cruel to expext her to do it the next day at recess. Same as I would not want her in the future to leave her job undone to go away on vacation. Now, I use this opportunity for her to brainstorm on ideas to help her get organized and focused so that it will not happen again in the future. If she was not held accountable then I dont see much reason for her to even try to become organized.

they can't take away recess any ways. Against school rules.

there is more I have not told you

She is older, late 50s she cant' handle this class. I am convinced. every day since school has started they are late coming out for after school pick up. as much as 10-15 min. We have complained about it to her and she said that the kids are so unruly that she can't get them together on time. It sounds like to me she has no classroom management skills for kids of this generation. She is way old school.

Every day my son is not getting to each hardly any of his lunch because again, they are late to lunch do to behavior issues. I know it's not my son causing them, they send home a daily behavior progress chart where the teacher gives them a number from 0 to 8, 8 being the best and my son always has a 6, 7 or 8.

I do know however many of the other kids and some of them do have very out spoken personalities, but parents that would not deal with bad behavior.

As we all know parents of today's kids are much different than parents of kids even just 6-10 years ago.

I don't agree that yelling is ok. It is her responsibility to provide a safe environment for all children in her class and she is not doing that. My dad is hearing impaired, he has hearing aides, has his whole life, so my family talks loud. It took me a long time to learn to turn it down .

If she can't make her students feel safe in her class either my son needs to be moved and all of the other kids that are scared to death of her or she needs to learn to chill out......

[daycare]

I think most of the issue i have is the yelling, but I am also upset that she still has not answered my email asking what the homework routine is so that I can help reinforce it. It's what we would want out DCP to do to right?

Last night was back to school night and she was not there. and I know why. because at football last night about 7 parents with students that are in her class are fired up and were ready to ask tons of questions that they have also emailed to her that she has not responded.

we all agree that she is scared of what everyone is going to say and I guess if I were her I would be scared to face them all at once too. it's like facing a firing squad.

i don't want to rattle anything and make the situation worse. I am trying to be patient and work it out, I just don't know what else to do if she won't answer my emails or talk with me via phone.

[BabyMonkeys]

i don't want to rattle anything and make the situation worse. I am trying to be patient and work it out, I just don't know what else to do if she won't answer my emails or talk with me via phone.

I'm going to respectfully disagree and say that I think that you SHOULD NOT be patient. You are right, it IS the schools responsibility to provide an environment that children feel safe. Every day that something is not done to correct the problem is a day that your son is scared and not learning as much as he could. Even if she was a great teacher, which I highly doubt given your comments, she may not be the right teacher for YOUR son. I would call the principle and have him transferred. He's your son..you know him better than anyone. Don't let potentially offending the teacher impact your doing what you know is best.

[hope]

I think most of the issue i have is the yelling, but I am also upset that she still has not answered my email asking what the homework routine is so that I can help reinforce it. It's what we would want out DCP to do to right?

Last night was back to school night and she was not there. and I know why. because at football last night about 7 parents with students that are in her class are fired up and were ready to ask tons of questions that they have also emailed to her that she has not responded.

we all agree that she is scared of what everyone is going to say and I guess if I were her I would be scared to face them all at once too. it's like facing a firing squad.

i don't want to rattle anything and make the situation worse. I am trying to be patient and work it out, I just don't know what else to do if she won't answer my emails or talk with me via phone.

How long ago did you email her? I think skipping out on back to school night os skipping out of a big part of her job. Maybe (hoping) she does have a reasonable excuse and it's not what you think. I would be asking to speak with the principal at this point and forward all emails to her.

[daycare]

How long ago did you email her? I think skipping out on back to school night os skipping out of a big part of her job. Maybe (hoping) she does have a reasonable excuse and it's not what you think. I would be asking to speak with the principal at this point and forward all emails to her.

i emailed her last Thursday. i was very nice about it. I just asked if she could let me know what the end of the day homework routine was becuase my son seems to be unclear about it and that he is forgetting his homework folder daily. My son is border line OCD organized, but for him it's a new routine and it sounds like it is just not clear to him. Or any of the other kids from what i hear, but I did not say that to her and am only focusing on my child. I am not talking to her about the other kids or saying I know anything else from other parents. even though I do,

[daycare]

I'm going to respectfully disagree and say that I think that you SHOULD NOT be patient. You are right, it IS the schools responsibility to provide an environment that children feel safe. Every day that something is not done to correct the problem is a day that your son is scared and not learning as much as he could. Even if she was a great teacher, which I highly doubt given your comments, she may not be the right teacher for YOUR son. I would call the principle and have him transferred. He's your son..you know him better than anyone. Don't let potentially offending the teacher impact your doing what you know is best.

this is what my older son said to me who is 20. He said mom if that were me you would have already been to the principal, what are you waiting for.

[childcaremom]

I think most of the issue i have is the yelling, but I am also upset that she still has not answered my email asking what the homework routine is so that I can help reinforce it. It's what we would want out DCP to do to right?

Last night was back to school night and she was not there. and I know why. because at football last night about 7 parents with students that are in her class are fired up and were ready to ask tons of questions that they have also emailed to her that she has not responded.

we all agree that she is scared of what everyone is going to say and I guess if I were her I would be scared to face them all at once too. it's like facing a firing squad.

i don't want to rattle anything and make the situation worse. I am trying to be patient and work it out, I just don't know what else to do if she won't answer my emails or talk with me via phone.

I thought you had heard back from her already.... changes my thinking a bit.

I would email her again, tonight. Explain that you are trying to help you son be successful, wondering what the routine is, etc. If you don't hear back from her, call tomorrow and leave a message for her. Then..... if no response, Monday afternoon I would be speaking to the principal.

I would try to approach it friendly... because as you said, she does not want to be on the defensive, but at the same time, you need some answers.

A month in, this needs to get solved.

[spud912]

I think the biggest problem from what I gather is your son's teacher's lack of communication. I agree that yelling can be left up to interpretation, and considering the fact that your son is already hyper-sensitive to it, it may not be as bad as what he is alluding to. I would take the suggestion from others and volunteer in the class to see what is truly going on. As far as the homework, I do believe that second grade is old enough to remember the homework and/or suffer some consequences if it is forgotten. Teachers are given so much material to go over in such a small amount of time, they are limited on the amount of free time they can allot for doing homework that should have been done the prior day. My dd's school doesn't give students the opportunity to "make up" incomplete homework. Instead, they are given half credit for the first day it is missing and no credit for the second day it is missing. I think asking for suggestions on organization was a great idea on your behalf though .... it's definitely unfortunate she never responded.

I personally would let a week pass from the time I sent an email and then send another one (or call her direct line if possible) asking if the first email was received. If I don't get a response within 2 more days, then I would take it up the ladder and ask a principal if there are other ways to communicate with your ds's teacher since she is not responding to email.

[daycare]

I thought you had heard back from her already.... changes my thinking a bit.

I would email her again, tonight. Explain that you are trying to help you son be successful, wondering what the routine is, etc. If you don't hear back from her, call tomorrow and leave a message for her. Then..... if no response, Monday afternoon I would be speaking to the principal.

I would try to approach it friendly... because as you said, she does not want to be on the defensive, but at the same time, you need some answers.

A month in, this needs to get solved.

no, she did not email me back. what happened was my son got home and I said right away where is your folder he open his bag, no folder. thankfully we are very close to the school so I had dad take him back to the school and go get it. at that time my husband asked her what the routine was and she only said that all of the kids are unorganized.

[daycare]

I think the biggest problem from what I gather is your son's teacher's lack of communication. I agree that yelling can be left up to interpretation, and considering the fact that your son is already hyper-sensitive to it, it may not be as bad as what he is alluding to. I would take the suggestion from others and volunteer in the class to see what is truly going on. As far as the homework, I do believe that second grade is old enough to remember the homework and/or suffer some consequences if it is forgotten. Teachers are given so much material to go over in such a small amount of time, they are limited on the amount of free time they can allot for doing homework that should have been done the prior day. My dd's school doesn't give students the opportunity to "make up" incomplete homework. Instead, they are given half credit for the first day it is missing and no credit for the second day it is missing. I think asking for suggestions on organization was a great idea on your behalf though .... it's definitely unfortunate she never responded.

I personally would let a week pass from the time I sent an email and then send another one (or call her direct line if possible) asking if the first email was received. If I don't get a response within 2 more days, then I would take it up the ladder and ask a principal if there are other ways to communicate with your ds's teacher since she is not responding to email.

the only reason I know she does yell for sure is that all of the other kids said she does too. what i didn't realize is that a few years back, kinder year for my son I was volunteering and waiting for his teacher.

as i am waiting for the kinder teacher to get back from the library with the kids I can hear a classroom coming around the corner. All I hear is this teacher yelling at the kids, saying stuff like how horrible their line is, what are you guys babies and etc. I was in complete shock. I had no clue who this teacher was at the time. She came around the corner and saw me and had that oh crap look on her face.

well I didn't realize that was my sons teacher until the 2nd week of school when i did a morning drop off and met her. so I know that she does yell at the kids.

[spud912]

the only reason I know she does yell for sure is that all of the other kids said she does too. what i didn't realize is that a few years back, kinder year for my son I was volunteering and waiting for his teacher.

as i am waiting for the kinder teacher to get back from the library with the kids I can hear a classroom coming around the corner. All I hear is this teacher yelling at the kids, saying stuff like how horrible their line is, what are you guys babies and etc. I was in complete shock. I had no clue who this teacher was at the time. She came around the corner and saw me and had that oh crap look on her face.

well I didn't realize that was my sons teacher until the 2nd week of school when i did a morning drop off and met her. so I know that she does yell at the kids.

Well that is a bummer you ended up with her of all teachers. Unfortunately, some people were just not cut out for handling children. If that is the case, I would look for a specific time she lost her temper and belittled the children and bring it up with the principal when you discuss the lack of communication. She obviously has issues with communicating with parents AND children .

[daycare]

Well that is a bummer you ended up with her of all teachers. Unfortunately, some people were just not cut out for handling children. If that is the case, I would look for a specific time she lost her temper and belittled the children and bring it up with the principal when you discuss the lack of communication. She obviously has issues with communicating with parents AND children .

thinking about it. I just looked at the school website and last year she taught 4th grade. so perhaps she is the one not adjusting to the younger kids. Not saying that it's ok that she yells, but just a thought. that's a big difference?? no?? yes??

[spud912]

thinking about it. I just looked at the school website and last year she taught 4th grade. so perhaps she is the one not adjusting to the younger kids. Not saying that it's ok that she yells, but just a thought. that's a big difference?? no?? yes??

I don't think there is any reason to yell all the time to the kids. I'm not saying there is never an appropriate time....I think when children are so loud they can't hear over you, it's ok to raise your voice long enough to get their attention, but not with any frequency.