A little off Topic. Second Grade

[daycare]

My son is in the second grade

we are having HUGE issues with his teacher.

My son is VERY sensitive to yelling. The only place he hears it, is on the football field when he plays and practices.

Well this Teacher is a yeller. My son is scared to death of her to go to school. so we are having the daily I don't want to go to school. UGH


I have already emailed her about it and she assured me that she was not yelling, but was having issues getting the kids on to a routine and was using very stern voices. Ok I get it been there, but if you ask any of the kids, they will say she yells.

Ok I get it they are just back from summer, actually we are one month in. the kids are learning to adapt to new teacher, class and etc.

Well the yelling has settled a little, my son does not like his teacher and we are having a hard time finding a way to convince him that she is ok.

Then there is the issue of forgetting the daily homework folder to bring home and he is not the only one. Just this week 5 out of 6 kids that we know in his class forgot their homework more than once and its only Wednesday. I know because many of the kids in his class are also on his football team.

Well I emailed the teacher asking what the routine or expectation of the kids are when it comes to making sure that the homework folder is in their bag and going home. See last year the teacher organized it all and made sure it went home. This year the kids have to do it. the teacher still has not returned my email. This was Friday of last week.

well today when my son forgot his homework folder, I made my husband go back and get it. I made him ask the teacher my question and her response was the kids are not organized.

REALLY...... so then show them how to get organized and teach them what is expected. how can I reinforce anything with my child if I don't know what is expected of YOU or what they are expected to do. am I wrong for feeling like this??


what should I say to her so that I can help my son fix this. HELP......

[littletots]

You've spoken to the teacher, now make appt with principle. The yelling is what I would focus on. Good luck & pls update. lovethis

[Thriftylady]

While even at this young age, I agree that kids need to be learning responsibility. But she needs to be helping teach it! You do need a meeting. In the meeting I would discuss the yelling, and I would also discuss the homework folder. I don't see how it would be that hard to take a couple minutes at the end of the day to direct the kids to put their folder in their backpack. I would also bring up at the meeting not answering emails in a decent time. I understand teachers have many students in class (to many in most cases), but much like us they need to be working in a partnership.

[hope]

In regards to the homework, if the folder or assignment is not brought home than ds needs to do his missed assignment the following day during recess. He will only forget once.
As for the yelling, that is just unacceptable. Pps are right. Speak with the principal.

[Willow]

Is she new?

I actually would NOT go to the principal this early on. My kids and I have dealt with the fallout from pulling that trigger too soon. Consider the fact that if you go to that extreme, and it pisses her off, he's still stuck spending 7+ hours with her a day for the rest of the school year.


Forgetting homework is common for kids at that age and imo, no cause for alarm. There is a learning curve and it takes time to sort out. If she's young and green she'll sort out eventually that what she's doing isn't working and change it, if she's experienced she's likely laid back because she knows the issue nearly always sorts itself out. Just like you as a daycare provider can feel miffed if/when parents don't trust your process, you couldn't blame her if she was upset by you telling her boss that she doesn't know how to do her job right? Now I would hope a grown woman wouldn't hold a grudge against a child but honestly now, if crap hits the fan with a parent, doesn't it mess with your head and put a damper on the whole working relationship?

I think it's only fair you give her the benefit of the doubt for a bit longer than a month. I'd personally shoot for that first report card and gauge his progress then. If he's learning, retaining and thriving - you may just need to **** it up and admit maybe she did know what she was doing after all (even if it goes against everything you'd do!). If however he's struggling academically, socially or in general just isn't making the progress you'd like to see - by all means do what you need to do as far as contacting her superiors for intervention.

Teachers have a myriad of different personalities and teaching styles and not all are going to jive with you and yours. That's ok!


I don't retrieve forgotten homework/projects/band instruments/gym shoes etc. Ever. I think it teaches there is an out for irresponsibility.

On a similar note, my oldest son, being of the timid variety, didn't like "loud" talkers or yelling coaches in early elementary school either. I was a calm SAHM, he did no preschool, and he was the youngest in his class. I used his encounters with such individuals to teach him that everyone is different. Maybe they didn't like the quieter way he talked. Or his fidgety ways. You can't expect people in the world to change for you just because you find them unpleasant. Nor can/will mommy make all those unpleasant people change or disappear. Tolerance and acceptance are awesome virtues, as is the confidence to know unpleasant traits in others aren't to be taken personally




(hope, my daughter is dyslexic and has missed recess many times for being unorganized and forgetting her homework. It's definitely not an effective technique for many kids and I personally think it's kind of cruel with how long children are expected to just sit throughout the day these days).

[childcaremom]

I think Willow is right... maybe a bit more time to sort itself out. I think grade 2 is a good time to start taking some responsibility and this seems age appropriate.

What are the consequences for forgetting their homework? As long as the punishment isn't extreme and fits the 'crime', I would think they would catch on sooner than later. I would give it another few weeks or so and if he is still having issues, have a chat with the teacher again. Maybe she has some tricks or techniques to help him remember?

My ds is a forgetter and a worrier. When he forgets something, he gets himself worked into a state. We've done a lot of talking about being organized, checking your school bag at the end of the day, etc. He's getting better.

As for the yelling, I understand completely as my 2 youngest would be sensitive to that, as well. Depending on the class make up, her stern voice may need to be extra stern at the beginning of the year until everyone gets in gear. Hopefully things quiet down soon.

[Play Care]

When my oldest DD went from K to 1st grade, all the sudden it seemed she had to be responsible for getting her things together each afternoon. As she has ADHD, and never had to do it previously, it was a nightmare I swear if I heard the teacher say "She's in FIRST grade now!" one more time...
Not a good year at all.

I'm actually LESS concerned about the supposed "yelling." Yelling is so subjective. I am from a large Italian family and tend to be loud. I never realized it wasn't normal until I started dating my husband in my mid-20's We would leave family gatherings and he would say "Don't they know they're in the same room?!" :: It's something I bring up during interviews because I don't want parents to think I'm a yeller. I'm not.
I also find that some kids have no idea of the difference between being firm and yelling. I think it's all this wishy washy parenting that we tend to complain about a lot on here Unless I saw it first hand I don't know I'd be in a rush to complain. I might be more inclined to volunteer in the class (you have staff, if I recall?) now and again to see first hand what's happening. It's really hard to hide it when you have a parent coming in to volunteer a few times a week...

[Cat Herder]

* Avoids and withdraws from adults.

Number two on the list of social development milestones for 7 year olds.

* Tends to complain, has strong emotion reactions.

Number three under emotion.

Sounds like he is right on target. :hug:

Son, please take out the trash. (smile) Ignored.

Son, take out the trash now. (same volume, no smile) "Fine, whatever! You don't have to yell."

[daycare]

* Avoids and withdraws from adults.

Number two on the list of social development milestones for 7 year olds.

* Tends to complain, has strong emotion reactions.

Number three under emotion.

Sounds like he is right on target. :hug:

Son, please take out the trash. (smile) Ignored.

Son, take out the trash now. (same volume, no smile) "Fine, whatever! You don't have to yell."

my love my love my love.....

where are you getting this wonderful information from.

My son actually is odd. He listens on the first time, NOw the rest of my own kids. are exactly as you said.

In fact i was talking to some other moms the other day about the fact that we have to get bat Sh%t crazy before our kids will listen. My oldest son is like this. Oh goodness he makes me want to pull out my locks

[hope]

Is she new?

I actually would NOT go to the principal this early on. My kids and I have dealt with the fallout from pulling that trigger too soon. Consider the fact that if you go to that extreme, and it pisses her off, he's still stuck spending 7+ hours with her a day for the rest of the school year.


Forgetting homework is common for kids at that age and imo, no cause for alarm. There is a learning curve and it takes time to sort out. If she's young and green she'll sort out eventually that what she's doing isn't working and change it, if she's experienced she's likely laid back because she knows the issue nearly always sorts itself out. Just like you as a daycare provider can feel miffed if/when parents don't trust your process, you couldn't blame her if she was upset by you telling her boss that she doesn't know how to do her job right? Now I would hope a grown woman wouldn't hold a grudge against a child but honestly now, if crap hits the fan with a parent, doesn't it mess with your head and put a damper on the whole working relationship?

I think it's only fair you give her the benefit of the doubt for a bit longer than a month. I'd personally shoot for that first report card and gauge his progress then. If he's learning, retaining and thriving - you may just need to **** it up and admit maybe she did know what she was doing after all (even if it goes against everything you'd do!). If however he's struggling academically, socially or in general just isn't making the progress you'd like to see - by all means do what you need to do as far as contacting her superiors for intervention.

Teachers have a myriad of different personalities and teaching styles and not all are going to jive with you and yours. That's ok!


I don't retrieve forgotten homework/projects/band instruments/gym shoes etc. Ever. I think it teaches there is an out for irresponsibility.

On a similar note, my oldest son, being of the timid variety, didn't like "loud" talkers or yelling coaches in early elementary school either. I was a calm SAHM, he did no preschool, and he was the youngest in his class. I used his encounters with such individuals to teach him that everyone is different. Maybe they didn't like the quieter way he talked. Or his fidgety ways. You can't expect people in the world to change for you just because you find them unpleasant. Nor can/will mommy make all those unpleasant people change or disappear. Tolerance and acceptance are awesome virtues, as is the confidence to know unpleasant traits in others aren't to be taken personally




(hope, my daughter is dyslexic and has missed recess many times for being unorganized and forgetting her homework. It's definitely not an effective technique for many kids and I personally think it's kind of cruel with how long children are expected to just sit throughout the day these days).

Willow, I do not think that taking away a child's recess time alone will solve the problem but I do think it can be used as a step towards a solution. My DD also has disabilities and organization and focus are a real challenge. I teach my children that no matter what challenges they have they can never use them as an excuse. They will have jobs some day with real responsibilities that will need to be accomplished by the end of the day, week or quarter. They will need to take care of all their responsibilities in that time line. So when my DD has forgotten her books at school and can not do her homework I do not find it cruel to expext her to do it the next day at recess. Same as I would not want her in the future to leave her job undone to go away on vacation. Now, I use this opportunity for her to brainstorm on ideas to help her get organized and focused so that it will not happen again in the future. If she was not held accountable then I dont see much reason for her to even try to become organized.

[daycarediva]

When my oldest DD went from K to 1st grade, all the sudden it seemed she had to be responsible for getting her things together each afternoon. As she has ADHD, and never had to do it previously, it was a nightmare I swear if I heard the teacher say "She's in FIRST grade now!" one more time...
Not a good year at all.

I'm actually LESS concerned about the supposed "yelling." Yelling is so subjective. I am from a large Italian family and tend to be loud. I never realized it wasn't normal until I started dating my husband in my mid-20's We would leave family gatherings and he would say "Don't they know they're in the same room?!" :: It's something I bring up during interviews because I don't want parents to think I'm a yeller. I'm not.
I also find that some kids have no idea of the difference between being firm and yelling. I think it's all this wishy washy parenting that we tend to complain about a lot on here Unless I saw it first hand I don't know I'd be in a rush to complain. I might be more inclined to volunteer in the class (you have staff, if I recall?) now and again to see first hand what's happening. It's really hard to hide it when you have a parent coming in to volunteer a few times a week...

Same here. I am loud. Italian/Cuban family. Our house is loud.

I think recess should NEVER be taken away. I know that seems odd, but outside time should be a right. It is in prison. It is in childcare. It should be in school.

Ds's )2nd grade) teacher this year gives them all 20 minutes of free play at the end of each day if they don't have a 'red incident' (behavior that requires more than one warning). They have a white erase checklist. (put items away in backpacks, notes home, etc) once that's done- they can PLAY! It has been SUPER easily for even ADHD ds to meet that expectation.

[Play Care]

Same here. I am loud. Italian/Cuban family. Our house is loud.

I think recess should NEVER be taken away. I know that seems odd, but outside time should be a right. It is in prison. It is in childcare. It should be in school.

Ds's )2nd grade) teacher this year gives them all 20 minutes of free play at the end of each day if they don't have a 'red incident' (behavior that requires more than one warning). They have a white erase checklist. (put items away in backpacks, notes home, etc) once that's done- they can PLAY! It has been SUPER easily for even ADHD ds to meet that expectation.

Yes!! I feel that a lot of times when it comes to taking away recess, the punishment doesn't fit the "crime" no one should have to sit inside because they forgot to put a folder in the basket.

I would never use my dd's ADHD as an excuse but I darn well will point it out when I believe the teachers expectations are not meshing with reality. It takes a few weeks to learn a new class system and kids need to be taught what that system is.

[spinnymarie]

my love my love my love.....

where are you getting this wonderful information from.

I want to know too! My daughter is almost 7, I thought I was going crazy!!

[Annalee]

My son is in the second grade

we are having HUGE issues with his teacher.

My son is VERY sensitive to yelling. The only place he hears it, is on the football field when he plays and practices.

Well this Teacher is a yeller. My son is scared to death of her to go to school. so we are having the daily I don't want to go to school. UGH


I have already emailed her about it and she assured me that she was not yelling, but was having issues getting the kids on to a routine and was using very stern voices. Ok I get it been there, but if you ask any of the kids, they will say she yells.

Ok I get it they are just back from summer, actually we are one month in. the kids are learning to adapt to new teacher, class and etc.

Well the yelling has settled a little, my son does not like his teacher and we are having a hard time finding a way to convince him that she is ok.

Then there is the issue of forgetting the daily homework folder to bring home and he is not the only one. Just this week 5 out of 6 kids that we know in his class forgot their homework more than once and its only Wednesday. I know because many of the kids in his class are also on his football team.

Well I emailed the teacher asking what the routine or expectation of the kids are when it comes to making sure that the homework folder is in their bag and going home. See last year the teacher organized it all and made sure it went home. This year the kids have to do it. the teacher still has not returned my email. This was Friday of last week.

well today when my son forgot his homework folder, I made my husband go back and get it. I made him ask the teacher my question and her response was the kids are not organized.

REALLY...... so then show them how to get organized and teach them what is expected. how can I reinforce anything with my child if I don't know what is expected of YOU or what they are expected to do. am I wrong for feeling like this??


what should I say to her so that I can help my son fix this. HELP......

I feel your pain! My boys are middle schoolers now but went thru and are still going thru the same process. Responsibility is part of the cirriculum and I agree to a certain point and age-group but it was difficult, in particular, from 1-4 grades. The kids would even get their name on the bad list if the parent didn't sign something or their homework folder was left at school. My kids were terrified if they ever forgot to have something signed or completed. I went in a couple times early in the morning so I could help them get their homework before school started and the teacher would tell me this is part of the new cirriculum????? It will get better but I still believe the core teaching/testing/expectations are rediculous!

[Willow]

Willow, I do not think that taking away a child's recess time alone will solve the problem but I do think it can be used as a step towards a solution. My DD also has disabilities and organization and focus are a real challenge. I teach my children that no matter what challenges they have they can never use them as an excuse. They will have jobs some day with real responsibilities that will need to be accomplished by the end of the day, week or quarter. They will need to take care of all their responsibilities in that time line. So when my DD has forgotten her books at school and can not do her homework I do not find it cruel to expext her to do it the next day at recess. Same as I would not want her in the future to leave her job undone to go away on vacation. Now, I use this opportunity for her to brainstorm on ideas to help her get organized and focused so that it will not happen again in the future. If she was not held accountable then I dont see much reason for her to even try to become organized.

Being dyslexic and chronically disorganized isn't a matter of not trying hard enough or dropping the ball as a parent. It's about a difference in the brain and brain chemistry that prevents such processes entirely. It's not an excuse, but you bet it's a very real and valid explanation.

I don't think she should be punished for those differences in the way her brain works.

She has and meets goals within the scope of her abilities, and that's ok. Indeed, she will need to find a career that suits her different abilities, and that's ok. Not everyone needs precision in life to function successfully.