Need Advice ASAP Please!

[MissAnn]

I had a parent call with the same thing....her kid had a black eye. I fretted and fretted and assured her nothing happened. Even the grandma texted about it. It was a frustrating night. Finally it just got dropped. Months later they told me it came off that night in her bath....it was marker.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Update

So I texted dcm last night to see if she spoke to the doc and how the eyes and her temp were and she said the doc never called her back and she was so mad, but the redness (now it is redness, not black and blue:confused was going away and she was in a better mood after her nap (ya think?!). She is going to see what she is like this morning and take her to the doc if it is the same. I never texted back and I don't plan to. I will just see if she shows up this morning.

This would be the second visit to the doc in the 5 weeks she has been here. The first one is because she had a slight diaper rash. Seriously one of the most insignificant rashes ever, but it last till the next day, so mom thought it may be yeast and took her to the doc. Nope, just a rash that went away by the next day. I think mom has a case of google-itis. She LOOKS for stuff and googles it to see if she should be concerned.

I will let you all know what happens today and thank you SOOO much for the advice and the quick help in a situtaion that was new (and kind of scary) for me!lovethis:hug:

[Blackcat31]

So I texted dcm last night to see if she spoke to the doc and how the eyes and her temp were and she said the doc never called her back and she was so mad, but the redness (now it is redness, not black and blue:confused was going away and she was in a better mood after her nap (ya think?!). She is going to see what she is like this morning and take her to the doc if it is the same. I never texted back and I don't plan to. I will just see if she shows up this morning.

This would be the second visit to the doc in the 5 weeks she has been here. The first one is because she had a slight diaper rash. Seriously one of the most insignificant rashes ever, but it last till the next day, so mom thought it may be yeast and took her to the doc. Nope, just a rash that went away by the next day. I think mom has a case of google-itis. She LOOKS for stuff and googles it to see if she should be concerned.

I will let you all know what happens today and thank you SOOO much for the advice and the quick help in a situtaion that was new (and kind of scary) for me!lovethis:hug:

Glad to hear it hasn't escalated into anything more dramatic.

Definitely sounds like an over zealous new mom that wants to be on top of everything. My guess is she will get over that soon when she realizes how hard/stressful/exhausting normal mothering is. To be a helicopter mom is even more exhausting so it usually doesn't last too long for most.

I had a mom that was a Web MD gold subscribing member.... her child had growing pains in their leg a couple nights in a row and she was convinced he had some sort of debilitating bone disease and would eventually be unable to walk. She scheduled an appointment at the clinic to see an orthopedic specialist who verified that it was growing pains and mom still made it into a big deal...posting on social media how grateful she was for modern medicine and that her child could once again walk as a normal child....

I don't mean to liken your DCM to mine above but I'm sure being over concerned in MOST cases is normal parental behavior.

[Leigh]

.posting on social media how grateful she was for modern medicine and that her child could once again walk as a normal child....

I literally laughed out loud! Oh my goodness! Isn't it wonderful that medical technology has come so far? ::::::

[Blackcat31]

.posting on social media how grateful she was for modern medicine and that her child could once again walk as a normal child....

I literally laughed out loud! Oh my goodness! Isn't it wonderful that medical technology has come so far? ::::::

:: ! ....and sadly that was only the tip of the ice berg.

It was followed up with photos of the child standing next to a wheel chair and praises in regards to how lucky they were that the child never actually had to use it.

It took everything in me not to say anything.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

I wish I could post a pic of the baby. Her eyes are perfectly normal! Shocking!

I told mom, "oh they don't look black and blue" and she was like "yea, but yesterday they were super black under them and she was so crabby, so..." You mean she had dark circles under her eyes and she was cranky and she only napped 40 minutes in the afternoon? Hmmm, I have never seen that before, you better go to the doc and confirm she is going to be okay and make it through this very scary situtaion! I am being sarcastic of course, but come on! I thought this mom was a lot more relaxed, but I have seen a whole other side since the interview. Don't get me wrong, she is very sweet, but googling what every little bump or mark on her kid is going to make her crazy!

Anyway, luckily it didn't turn into a big deal, but I did tell mom that I will always notify her if dcg gets hurt here, especially if their is a bruise or bump as a result. I also said that a black eye from being bonked would have been noticeable when she left and would be something I would have told her about of course. All is good for now, but I have a feeling this will not be the last time I post about this mom

***Also, concerning the dark eyes and possible allergies, she informed she googled that too and said it is not common in babies her age, so she doesn't think it is allergies The funny thing is they are farmers and it is harvest season, so allergies are incredibly common in our area right now, and she didn't seem to have any eye issues till she got home at their farm and mom said she was rubbing her eyes a lot and crabby. I didn't say anything, but I get super itchy eyes when I go to my dad's farm, so it wouldn't surprise me if she gets it too and just rubbed her eyes too much. SHe has very fair skin, like me, and I always had dark circles. People thought I was sick and tired all the time growing up. I think I may have my doppleganger baby

Thanks again for all the advice!

[Baby Beluga]

:: ! ....and sadly that was only the tip of the ice berg.

It was followed up with photos of the child standing next to a wheel chair and praises in regards to how lucky they were that the child never actually had to use it.

It took everything in me not to say anything.

I have no words...

[childcaremom]

I have no words...

As crazy as that is, I hope that nothing seriously wrong ever does happen to their child. How would someone like that ever cope?

Man it takes all kinds.

[daycarediva]

If she got the black eyes at your house they would have been very very red at pickup time so I would just tell the mom the truth. Nothing happened and then reiterate that her eyes were perfectly normal when she picked her up. Also ask to see pictures....mom might be exaggerating.

A parent sending me a text 3 HOURS after a child was picking up would have gotten something back like "Oh my goodness! How did that happen? Did she fall?" ::

You can always feed into it...

Suggest she take her to the emergency room/urgent care right now or she will not be allowed back into care tomorrow.

Most times the story will suddenly change...

[Unregistered]

If, for some odd reason, the child does have 2 black eyes it's more likely she bumped her nose (which can cause two instantaneous black eyes) than was hit or hurt on both eyes. In that case all it would take is a normal fall from a toddler to cause it.
However, I've seen this before and it was...wait for it...ALLERGIES! The rubbing of the eyes made them red, the allergies made them swollen, it didn't look like two black eyes to me either but of course first time mom was adamant the eyes were black until the doctor told her otherwise. That might have been the first and only time I accepted allergies as an excuse for anything.
I completely agree with the PP to just reiterate that the child was fine when she left your house and I would have no problem asking that the child be seen by a physician before returning to care.

I picked up my dd from daycare and her allergies were so bad it did look like someone punched her. Not back and blue but puffy and red.

[renodeb]

I had this one client that would text me a pic of a scratch or what ever was wrong. She would sound very accusatory and I would just answer back that I could not think of anything that happened at dc that could of caused it. One time I put the child down for a nap and there was a little lid to a toy pot in there ( I didnt see it) and when he got up from his nap he had this weird mark on the side of his head from it. Mom freaked out and I had to explain what had happened along with a pic of the lid. I have also had kids who really rub there eyes when there tired and there are marks left behind from that. I have also had kids that are so far behind on sleep that they have bags under there eyes. I used to freak out but now I just deal with these parents in a matter of fact way.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

update again

DCM picked up early today. She texted me before she came asking how her eyes looked and I said I thought they looked fine and normal to me. She picks up and looks at her and says, "omg, what are we gonna do about your eyes??" I asked if she thought they looked bad and she said they are super dark:confused: she had called her doc again before she picked up and the nurse said that if they are really black and blue, she needs to be seen immediately and mom was like, I am not sure what to do, because they don't look as bad as yesterday, but they are still dark. I said, take her to the doc, because you are just gonna worry about it till you do and I also said I am curious to see what they say. She admitted to being that "nutty" mom and that her doc probably thinks she is crazy and she isn't sure she wants to spend the money on the doc bill, yada yada yada. I just kept saying she should take her. When she left, she said she would take her, but now she just texts me and says the doc said to wait it out and see if it goes away, so I guess they are not going. :confused:


I think the reason she may have not gone has nothing to do with what the doc said. Dcg took a short morning nap again and is due for her afternoon nap right now and dcm said she won't sleep in her carseat. The doc appointment was scheduled for 1 pm, so I think she just doesn't want to deal with a cranky kid while there. So, I am sure we will go through this same drama tomorrow...grrr.

[Ariana]

DCM picked up early today. She texted me before she came asking how her eyes looked and I said I thought they looked fine and normal to me. She picks up and looks at her and says, "omg, what are we gonna do about your eyes??" I asked if she thought they looked bad and she said they are super dark:confused: she had called her doc again before she picked up and the nurse said that if they are really black and blue, she needs to be seen immediately and mom was like, I am not sure what to do, because they don't look as bad as yesterday, but they are still dark. I said, take her to the doc, because you are just gonna worry about it till you do and I also said I am curious to see what they say. She admitted to being that "nutty" mom and that her doc probably thinks she is crazy and she isn't sure she wants to spend the money on the doc bill, yada yada yada. I just kept saying she should take her. When she left, she said she would take her, but now she just texts me and says the doc said to wait it out and see if it goes away, so I guess they are not going. :confused:

She is lying to you. No DR in the history of the medical community would ever tell a mother complaining of a child with black eyes to "wait it out and see if it goes away". I am pretty sure that could be grounds for a malpractice lawsuit.

[Leigh]

:: ! ....and sadly that was only the tip of the ice berg.

It was followed up with photos of the child standing next to a wheel chair and praises in regards to how lucky they were that the child never actually had to use it.

It took everything in me not to say anything.

STOP before I pee my pants!

[Blackcat31]

I agree with Ariana. I don't think mom wants anything more than attention.

I don't care if my Dr, my nurse and every person I know thinks I am a nutty parent...if I am truly concerned about my child I seek the necessary medical attention until I am sure there is nothing wrong.

@mommyneedsadayoff If I were you I would text the DCM and tell her you totally understand her concern but you have to worry about liability on your end too and that since the mom has been that concerned more than once you would not feel comfortable allowing DCG to return to care without seeing a Dr so that the Dr can assure BOTH mom and you that DCG is fine and there are no underlying issues that could come back to bite you.

I allow a little "craziness" from new moms but sometimes you simply have to protect yourself and let the mom figure it out herself. I think allowing her to even continue discussing or mentioning it over and over without her actually doing anything about it is just spinning your wheels without getting anything other than attention.