No!!!!!

[midaycare]

I have a dcb, age 2. He has been in an awful phase. Anytime he is asked to do anything, his response is "NO!"

He even refuses to get on his nap cot unless I physically put him there. Again and again. Testing me and his parents, all the time. His parents are beside themselves, and I am almost there right with them.

I ignore his "no's" right now and just physically put him where he needs to be. I don't want to feed into it.

Can someone please give me another tool for working with him? I feel like he is getting the better of me.

[spedmommy4]

Take the opportunity for no out of the equation. Where possible, offer choices. Eg: dcb, do you want to walk by yourself or hold my hand? Clean up by yourself or with dcg? Always keep in mind that both choices should be acceptable to you.

[jenboo]

I had a child like that.
I would say "we don't say no, we say yes ma'am". Then tell them to go do whatever it was. Rinse and repeat.
It really started getting better once the other kids picked up on it and would tell the child we don't say no, we say yes ma'am. Seem to listen better to their peers

[jenboo]

Take the opportunity for no out of the equation. Where possible, offer choices. Eg: dcb, do you want to walk by yourself or hold my hand? Clean up by yourself or with dcg? Always keep in mind that both choices should be acceptable to you.

I tried this and the child would still respond with no ::

[daycare]

choices! I agree

it is time to nap, I did not ask you, I am telling you.

Would you like to lay this way or that way? No is just a way they think they are controlling us. giving them options lets them think they are in control. which they are learning to make choices.

if he says no, ask again would you like a blanket today or no blanket. would you like to walk like a big boy to your cot or would you like me to carry you? if he says no, you can say decide or I will decide for you. Or ok when I count to 3 I am going to pick you up and carry you to your cot.

give reasonable realistic choices and then follow through.

[Ariana]

Take the opportunity for no out of the equation. Where possible, offer choices. Eg: dcb, do you want to walk by yourself or hold my hand? Clean up by yourself or with dcg? Always keep in mind that both choices should be acceptable to you.

This! Works with my willful 2 year old every time. "do you want mommy or daddy to brush your hair, put you to bed, give you a bath....."...."do you want the blue cup or red cup" etc. Maybe a good one would be to get him to choose which stuffy to sleep with or which blanket to use.

[CalCare]

You can try a RIE approach. You would state what you believe the child is feeling, "You don't want to clean up."... Pause. And then you can tell them they have to and why- but short explanation: " We all clean up together, you can pick putting away the sponges or the balls" or whatever. That way you let them know that you did hear their feelings and you told them what you expect and you gave them a choice. Always saying what they are feeling (what you think they feel and pause for correction) helps a ton. Whenever I would say something g like that to my son it helped. Good luck.

[midaycare]

Thank you everyone! There are some great ideas here. I will not give him an opportunity for no tomorrow!