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I have a 20 mo who is hitting/scratching/shoving like crazy. She is rarely provoked & does it to younger & older kids alike, though the 1 yo is usually the only one who actually is injured b/c he's smaller. She plays nice one minute then turns on them unexpectedly. I know she needs to be right beside me at all times, but that's just not realistic. How do you do that with a mixed age group? I have 1-5 year olds. We are all together in the same room, but if I stop to change baby's diaper she attacks an older kid. If I sit down with an older kid to help with a preschool activity or sensory bin she goes after the baby. I can't hold onto her constantly and still do my job, but I know tho is typical of her age. How do you make this work with a kid at the age where they always want to wander around?
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If I was going to be busy changing a diaper, etc, I would have the shadow strapped in a booster seat at the table with an activity until I was finished. I also change diapers on the floor, outside the gate to the play area. So if I was on the outer side of the gate, the shadow would be sitting beside me while I finished up.
That's what I have done, anyways. -
Agree with the above suggestion. Shadowing is difficult and nearly impossible to do full time. We had a girl who would scratch and we had to put mittens on her. Maybe doing something like that might help? There has to be a clear consequence for the behavior even though impulse control at this age is nil.
Does she have language? This is only typical behavior if there is no language. Encouraging her to use her words is essential. If it is not provoked though I am not even sure what word you could get her to use.Comment
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She is extremely verbal for her age, speaking in several word sentences so I don't really understand it.Comment
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Maybe have her play by you unless you leave the area then she follows?Comment
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Interesting. It is definitely a learned behavior or she gets negative attention from doing it. If it is negative attention she is after then definitely do not give it to her. I used to have a kid that would hit and step on other kids when they were sitting and then turn to look at me with a look that said "what are you gonna do about it". She was clearly ignored a lot at home and had to do these things to get attention.
For the kid we had to shadow we were never able to stop the behavior. She just eventually grew out of it.Comment
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I am working through something similar.
When DCB1 started my dd3 would push him. The DCbaby would crawl up and hit him. (baby and DCB are about 8 months apart)
Now DCB1 will hit and steal from any of them but he seems to go after DCG4 the most. (She just sits and takes it. However, she is an attention seeker).
Anyways, Now that DCB5 is in school, I have been able to separate them better. I put a gate up between the LR and Kitchen. I have DD3 and DCG4 play at the table with the older toys while DCB1 and DCbaby play in the LR. The only all play together when I am available. I gate off the hall. When it is time to start a meal, that is when I put DCbaby down for his nap.
DCB also gets put in playpen or high chair if he starts hitting DCG.
(I have an open LR/ Kitchen space and use a spare bedroom as a playroom, which is out of view, so I use a video monitor when they are playing and I am in the kitchen)Comment
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