Should I Term This Crazy Mom?

[Haven]

I have a family with a two year old dcg who started with me about five weeks ago. I am having a lot of problems with them and dcg but I don't know if I should term or not. WWYD
Here are the issues

Dcg behavor at pick up and drop off

I pick up dcg from her house each morning and I drop her of every evening. I the beginning it was fine. Daycare girl started to get used to the routine in the morning and started to get excited whenever I would come to pick her up. She would even forgo the hug and kisses from her mom and jump into my arms.

I could tell this made dcm unhappy because she would always force her back into he arms with tears in her eyes saying how heartbreaking it was to see her go. I could tell dcg really liked the attention and started to respond to her mom's tears by wining but I didn't say anything to dcm.

Lately I have been having a hard time getting dcg in the car. She kicks screams and slaps me. The first time she did this dcm just let her stay home. But it has been get worse. It is the same thing at drop off she doesn't want to get in the house and no one does a thing. My back is really starting to hurt from caring her in and out of the car while she throws her tantrum.

Pick up and drop off times

She used to be schedule for pick up at 7:30 and 6:30
But she is constantly changing the time. Like this week She wanted dcg to be picked up at 8. That is fine except she is always no ready and I have to wait 15-30 min just for her to get dcg ready. This doesn't include the ti me it takes for her to say goodbye and for me to wrestle dcg into her car seat. Also during the evening she will call me and tell me dcg needs to get dropped off early. I don't mind this but she calls at 5:00 and says dcg needs to get home in 15 min but she lives 15 min away. How am I suppose to get her ready and the other kids situated that quickly?

Food
Dcm is worried about how much dcg eats. She thinks that if she comes home and is ravenous that she hasn't eaten all day. I have always reassure her that dcg is eating fine. Actually more than fine but she was not convinced. Dcm asked me last week to start taking pics of dcg's plate before and after she eats.???? She claimed that he previous center had done this for her. I have ignored he request but she is not letting up.

Insult
Dcg had two blow outs. She would always bring it up during pick up and finally She said, "I assume you are keeping the place clean." I was very insulted that she would ausme the reason why dcg had a stomach issues was because of me.

Payment
The first check She ever gave me bounce and she has been playing catch up ever since then. I let her slide with the fees because I know how hard it is sometimes, but today i call and ask he for the money she owed me for last week and she claimed that she already paid. ?? I told her that I was sure that she didn't but she insisted that she did, being very rude. so i sent her an invoice with copies of all of the checks She ever gave me. I never received a response.

I just have had a lot of issues with her including her calling me multiple Times a day (even after hours ). I'm new to being a provider and have never had to deal with anything like this. I change her $200 a week and still feel like I am being under paid. WWYD?

[NillaWafers]

Wow, uh yes?

I doubt many providers here would tolerate just one thing from the list, not to mention all of them. That sounds like a nightmare for you. Why are you picking her daughter up and dropping her off?

[Unregistered]

Wow not sure where to start and I am betting the other providers will have a lot to say as well.

This lady has it made!!!! You pick up AND drop off?? WOW She should be worshiping the ground you walk on. I have NEVER heard of anyone (but a Nanny) doing this. Unfortunately the Mother's insecurities are affecting her child. All that said the child should NOT be hitting you. If you want to continue childcare then either she should drop her kid off to you or have the child ready at the door. Child not ready then you leave and it is up to Mom to drop off. You were ready and she was not.

As far as Mom wanting child back in 15 minutes ...... well let her know that it will take you a minimum of 30 minutes to get her home. (have to get all her stuff together etc.) Let Mom know how much time it will take for you to get kid to her if she wants you to drop off then she needs to give you how ever much lead time you need. If she wants her child quicker then she can get her herself.

As far as Mom wanting pictures of her plate....... what a joke. If she has so much distrust of you then it might be time to sever ties. There is no way in heck I would take pictures of a child's plate before and after. I suspect that she is lying about the previous day care doing that for her. Maybe explain that children play hard. There will be times they seem to be very hungry even though they have received plenty of nutrition.

"I assume you are keeping the place clean.........." no no no. Yet again she is demonstrating she doesn't trust you. Kids will have diarrhea. Heck I am an adult and every once in a while I will get it too. Doesn't mean that I have a dirty house or you have a dirty house because she is having diarrhea. Unless you have a hoarders home it is highly unlikely that her tummy troubles are from your house/toys.

As far as your pay.................... no pay no stay. Her not paying you or doing it late is telling you that you are not important. Unless she had to come to you and begged forgiveness or had some catastrophic issue there is no reason why you shouldn't be paid. Her saying she paid you when she hasn't' is called a stall tactic! The more she stalls the longer she has to get the money.

You need to tell her that she needs to come up with what is owed before anymore care is given. If she gives you a check then go to her bank and make sure you cash it there. Once all arrears are taken care of hand her an immediate term if that is what you want to do. (that is definitely what I would do!)

From now on have everyone prepay that way you don't have this problem.

There is a lot of knowledge on this board and there are many more who can give you excellent advice.Please keep us updated and good luck!!

[DaveA]

All that in 5 weeks of care? RUN FAST AND FAR!!!!!!!! I doubt it will get better as you keep going. I would term ASAP

Like PP said: Change your policies to prepay only and enforce it. Will save you worlds of aggravation later on.

[spedmommy4]

As a group childcare provider, I would not offer drop offs or pick ups to the child's home. It leads to all the issues you mentioned in your post.

I know you feel bad that she is having to play catch up but you always have to remember that you are running a business. I like all my parents and I do feel for them when they fall on hard times but I do not make a clients financial issues my own. If a parent doesn't pay tuition, I don't allow their child to stay. No exceptions.

You have three options in this case: terminate care, have a straight forward talk with Dcm immediately and begin enforcing your policies, or keep things as they are.

Dcm has had it good so she is probably not going to want to change things so your best bet is probably to term and move on. Moving forward, enforce all your policies and fees. Your parents will treat you more like a business if they know you mean business.

[childcaremom]

As a group childcare provider, I would not offer drop offs or pick ups to the child's home. It leads to all the issues you mentioned in your post.

I know you feel bad that she is having to play catch up but you always have to remember that you are running a business. I like all my parents and I do feel for them when they fall on hard times but I do not make a clients financial issues my own. If a parent doesn't pay tuition, I don't allow their child to stay. No exceptions.

You have three options in this case: terminate care, have a straight forward talk with Dcm immediately and begin enforcing your policies, or keep things as they are.

Dcm has had it good so she is probably not going to want to change things so your best bet is probably to term and move on. Moving forward, enforce all your policies and fees. Your parents will treat you more like a business if they know you mean business.

[Ariana]

You definitely sound like more of a personal assistant to a celebrity than a home child care provider.

You are either going to have to lay down some rules and change things drastically or you will need to term her. I would start with not picking DCG up or dropping her off anymore and by getting the money that was owed to me.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Unless she is going to pay you nanny rates, there is no way I would be doing what you are doing? I did this similar job, except the mom was awesome, they provided a car for me, vacation time, extra money for taking the kid out to fun places, and they paid me $425 a week (worked 8 am-3pm). Very cushy gig and well worth it! This is a dcm getting a nanny for daycare rates. You need to say no and I would probably just terminate, since she will not like you changing up her sweet deal.

[KidGrind]

I have a family with a two year old dcg who started with me about five weeks ago. I am having a lot of problems with them and dcg but I don't know if I should term or not. WWYD
Here are the issues

Dcg behavor at pick up and drop off

I pick up dcg from her house each morning and I drop her of every evening. I the beginning it was fine. Daycare girl started to get used to the routine in the morning and started to get excited whenever I would come to pick her up. She would even forgo the hug and kisses from her mom and jump into my arms.

I could tell this made dcm unhappy because she would always force her back into he arms with tears in her eyes saying how heartbreaking it was to see her go. I could tell dcg really liked the attention and started to respond to her mom's tears by wining but I didn't say anything to dcm.

Lately I have been having a hard time getting dcg in the car. She kicks screams and slaps me. The first time she did this dcm just let her stay home. But it has been get worse. It is the same thing at drop off she doesn't want to get in the house and no one does a thing. My back is really starting to hurt from caring her in and out of the car while she throws her tantrum.

Pick up and drop off times

She used to be schedule for pick up at 7:30 and 6:30
But she is constantly changing the time. Like this week She wanted dcg to be picked up at 8. That is fine except she is always no ready and I have to wait 15-30 min just for her to get dcg ready. This doesn't include the ti me it takes for her to say goodbye and for me to wrestle dcg into her car seat. Also during the evening she will call me and tell me dcg needs to get dropped off early. I don't mind this but she calls at 5:00 and says dcg needs to get home in 15 min but she lives 15 min away. How am I suppose to get her ready and the other kids situated that quickly?

Food
Dcm is worried about how much dcg eats. She thinks that if she comes home and is ravenous that she hasn't eaten all day. I have always reassure her that dcg is eating fine. Actually more than fine but she was not convinced. Dcm asked me last week to start taking pics of dcg's plate before and after she eats.???? She claimed that he previous center had done this for her. I have ignored he request but she is not letting up.

Insult
Dcg had two blow outs. She would always bring it up during pick up and finally She said, "I assume you are keeping the place clean." I was very insulted that she would ausme the reason why dcg had a stomach issues was because of me.

Payment
The first check She ever gave me bounce and she has been playing catch up ever since then. I let her slide with the fees because I know how hard it is sometimes, but today i call and ask he for the money she owed me for last week and she claimed that she already paid. ?? I told her that I was sure that she didn't but she insisted that she did, being very rude. so i sent her an invoice with copies of all of the checks She ever gave me. I never received a response.

I just have had a lot of issues with her including her calling me multiple Times a day (even after hours ). I'm new to being a provider and have never had to deal with anything like this. I change her $200 a week and still feel like I am being under paid. WWYD?

I started to type out how all this is majorly wrong. I’ve decided to simply tell you to term. It’s only going to get worse whether you try to rein her in or not. DCM’s blatant disrespect and inconsideration is only going to continue.

At the very least, I’d tell DCM I cannot pick up child until all payments are caught up.

I would like to add my godchild was a nanny for an A-lister. It sounded similar to some of the HELL she was going through. Yet, she made over six figures, traveled the world with no rent due.

[Thriftylady]

I would not be allowing any of the the things you are right now. And you aren't even getting paid as you should. Would you go to work in an office every day if they weren't paying you? I am guessing your answer is no. This is the same thing.

[LysesKids]

I have a family with a two year old dcg who started with me about five weeks ago. I am having a lot of problems with them and dcg but I don't know if I should term or not. WWYD
Here are the issues

Dcg behavor at pick up and drop off

I pick up dcg from her house each morning and I drop her of every evening. I the beginning it was fine. Daycare girl started to get used to the routine in the morning and started to get excited whenever I would come to pick her up. She would even forgo the hug and kisses from her mom and jump into my arms.

I could tell this made dcm unhappy because she would always force her back into he arms with tears in her eyes saying how heartbreaking it was to see her go. I could tell dcg really liked the attention and started to respond to her mom's tears by wining but I didn't say anything to dcm.

Lately I have been having a hard time getting dcg in the car. She kicks screams and slaps me. The first time she did this dcm just let her stay home. But it has been get worse. It is the same thing at drop off she doesn't want to get in the house and no one does a thing. My back is really starting to hurt from caring her in and out of the car while she throws her tantrum.

Pick up and drop off times

She used to be schedule for pick up at 7:30 and 6:30
But she is constantly changing the time. Like this week She wanted dcg to be picked up at 8. That is fine except she is always no ready and I have to wait 15-30 min just for her to get dcg ready. This doesn't include the ti me it takes for her to say goodbye and for me to wrestle dcg into her car seat. Also during the evening she will call me and tell me dcg needs to get dropped off early. I don't mind this but she calls at 5:00 and says dcg needs to get home in 15 min but she lives 15 min away. How am I suppose to get her ready and the other kids situated that quickly?

Food
Dcm is worried about how much dcg eats. She thinks that if she comes home and is ravenous that she hasn't eaten all day. I have always reassure her that dcg is eating fine. Actually more than fine but she was not convinced. Dcm asked me last week to start taking pics of dcg's plate before and after she eats.???? She claimed that he previous center had done this for her. I have ignored he request but she is not letting up.

Insult
Dcg had two blow outs. She would always bring it up during pick up and finally She said, "I assume you are keeping the place clean." I was very insulted that she would ausme the reason why dcg had a stomach issues was because of me.

Payment
The first check She ever gave me bounce and she has been playing catch up ever since then. I let her slide with the fees because I know how hard it is sometimes, but today i call and ask he for the money she owed me for last week and she claimed that she already paid. ?? I told her that I was sure that she didn't but she insisted that she did, being very rude. so i sent her an invoice with copies of all of the checks She ever gave me. I never received a response.

I just have had a lot of issues with her including her calling me multiple Times a day (even after hours ). I'm new to being a provider and have never had to deal with anything like this. I change her $200 a week and still feel like I am being under paid. WWYD?

UMMM, this is all a big NO... do you realize that if you are in an accident without specific coverage ( like to transport daycare kids) that you might lose all your insurance because you pick up & drop-off? ( it's a huge liability to begin with even for school runs which I refused to do even as a newbie). Being slapped by a kid, another Hell no... if she isn't ready @ pick up, to bad, you are running a business, you are not her Nanny and are not on Mommies payroll & not getting paid - TERMINATE NOW and don't look back.

[daycare]

usually if you have to question it, the answer is normally always YES!

[Hunni Bee]

That's insane. And a big ol steaming pile of NOPE.

Hands off and walk away.

[TheGoodLife]

First of all, I would term... too much disrespect and hassle. But, besides that, if she owes you money, why are you even picking the DCK up? I wouldn't pick any child up at ALL, but especially if they owe me money. No pay, so stay.

Physical abuse towards you by the child, picking up and dropping off, last-minute changes to YOUR schedule, unrealistic expectations of you, disrespect toward you... no way! Term and give immediate billing due for all unpaid balance before you give any more care (if you give a 2 week notice). Ugh, good luck!

[TXhomedaycare]

this

As a group childcare provider, I would not offer drop offs or pick ups to the child's home. It leads to all the issues you mentioned in your post.

I know you feel bad that she is having to play catch up but you always have to remember that you are running a business. I like all my parents and I do feel for them when they fall on hard times but I do not make a clients financial issues my own. If a parent doesn't pay tuition, I don't allow their child to stay. No exceptions.

You have three options in this case: terminate care, have a straight forward talk with Dcm immediately and begin enforcing your policies, or keep things as they are.

Dcm has had it good so she is probably not going to want to change things so your best bet is probably to term and move on. Moving forward, enforce all your policies and fees. Your parents will treat you more like a business if they know you mean business.