HELP NEED ADVICE - License Being Denied W/O An Agreement Of Understanding

[Unregistered]

HELP!!!! I have been trying to get my childcare license for over a year now. It was put on hold in the beginning because my oldest child got into some trouble w/ CPS for having sexual contact with a girl who was just shy of the 4yr mark (not even sex just fooling around), which had to be resolved first. NO criminal charges, NO arrest, AND when protective services tried to take it to court THEY dismissed the case (because we had a psychological evaluation done on him to prove this was not an abuse case and he was at no way a harm to children) so he is also NOT on any abuse registry.

So once that resolved I proceeded with getting my license. Everything was good, up until they checked on household members (notice I included son as a household member because he lived here, his attorney stated everything was done/dropped and nothing had to be disclosed) and because licensing office is a part of child protective services they were able to see the file. So I was told license was going to be denied as long as he was a member of the household (which I think is complete BS given child protective services dismissed the case), but my son (now being an adult) decided to move out so as not to hold my business pursuit up. NOW I am being told we can proceed forward BUT I have to sign an Agreement of Understanding and abide to all stipulations.

I understand they're trying to cover their butts with this and I have no problem agreeing to and signing an agreement that states he will not be present during business hours, or daycare children, or reside at this address while I am a licensed provider...HOWEVER I do NOT agree with them stating I have to make all potential parents aware of this agreement which clearly states the regulation rules in determine their decision, which if you look up the rules basically gives the impression that my son is a sexual abuser which he is not....I think that is unfair to state given he is no longer a member of this household and to then have to invade his privacy by explaining the situation over and over again just so I can have potential clients, which we all know it will automatically be assumed and he will automatically be judged.

*keep in mind also...the incident that occurred did NOT occur in my home (it was his fathers home), there are no restrictions regarding him and the girl being around each other, he is now living in the home the incident occurred in, and I have the psych evaluation to prove he is no danger and the stipulation of dismissal from court...

WHAT do I do at this point????? Do I sign agreement as stated and potentially be branded by opinions and perspective? Do I say no and give up, say no and fight with an appeals hearing? Do I try to find an attorney???? I am so lost now...

[Unregistered]

HELP!!!! I have been trying to get my childcare license for over a year now. It was put on hold in the beginning because my oldest child got into some trouble w/ CPS for having sexual contact with a girl who was just shy of the 4yr mark (not even sex just fooling around), which had to be resolved first. NO criminal charges, NO arrest, AND when protective services tried to take it to court THEY dismissed the case (because we had a psychological evaluation done on him to prove this was not an abuse case and he was at no way a harm to children) so he is also NOT on any abuse registry.

So once that resolved I proceeded with getting my license. Everything was good, up until they checked on household members (notice I included son as a household member because he lived here, his attorney stated everything was done/dropped and nothing had to be disclosed) and because licensing office is a part of child protective services they were able to see the file. So I was told license was going to be denied as long as he was a member of the household (which I think is complete BS given child protective services dismissed the case), but my son (now being an adult) decided to move out so as not to hold my business pursuit up. NOW I am being told we can proceed forward BUT I have to sign an Agreement of Understanding and abide to all stipulations.

I understand they're trying to cover their butts with this and I have no problem agreeing to and signing an agreement that states he will not be present during business hours, or daycare children, or reside at this address while I am a licensed provider...HOWEVER I do NOT agree with them stating I have to make all potential parents aware of this agreement which clearly states the regulation rules in determine their decision, which if you look up the rules basically gives the impression that my son is a sexual abuser which he is not....I think that is unfair to state given he is no longer a member of this household and to then have to invade his privacy by explaining the situation over and over again just so I can have potential clients, which we all know it will automatically be assumed and he will automatically be judged.

*keep in mind also...the incident that occurred did NOT occur in my home (it was his fathers home), there are no restrictions regarding him and the girl being around each other, he is now living in the home the incident occurred in, and I have the psych evaluation to prove he is no danger and the stipulation of dismissal from court...

WHAT do I do at this point????? Do I sign agreement as stated and potentially be branded by opinions and perspective? Do I say no and give up, say no and fight with an appeals hearing? Do I try to find an attorney???? I am so lost now...

what state is this in? how old was your son when this happened? the child was 4? was your son also a preschooler at that time? i would probably hire an attorney for sure

[Unregistered]

what state is this in? how old was your son when this happened? the child was 4? was your son also a preschooler at that time? i would probably hire an attorney for sure

Oh my goodness I just realized how that must have read!! When I said she was just shy of the 4yr mark I meant 4yr difference in their ages to legally be considered consenting, NOT that she was a 4yr old. Sorry for the confusion. State is DE.

[Unregistered]

Oh my goodness I just realized how that must have read!! When I said she was just shy of the 4yr mark I meant 4yr difference in their ages to legally be considered consenting, NOT that she was a 4yr old. Sorry for the confusion. State is DE.

whew! thank you for clarifying that... i did wonder...makes much more sense now.
Do you have a child care resource and referral agency in your area at all? I would consider starting there and seeing if they have anyone that can counsel you as to what your next steps would be. Are in home providers in your area licensed through the state or via the county or city? In my area we are licensed via the state but each county has an agent or agency that upholds and enforces the state regulations. If it's like that where you are, I would consider contacting the state itself and asking them where the rules and regulations state that you would be required to do what you said. i cant imagine that other providers have to tell their families or clients about behavior that occurred that was unfounded and from someone that doesn't even live in the home. I would exhaust all efforts to not have to agree to this weird agreement of understanding they are asking of you. is there a possibility of an older long time provider in your area that could help you? if not, before agreeing to anything restrictive, i would absolutely consult a lawyer. I'm sorry you are going through this.

[KidGrind]

HELP!!!! I have been trying to get my childcare license for over a year now. It was put on hold in the beginning because my oldest child got into some trouble w/ CPS for having sexual contact with a girl who was just shy of the 4yr mark (not even sex just fooling around), which had to be resolved first. NO criminal charges, NO arrest, AND when protective services tried to take it to court THEY dismissed the case (because we had a psychological evaluation done on him to prove this was not an abuse case and he was at no way a harm to children) so he is also NOT on any abuse registry.

So once that resolved I proceeded with getting my license. Everything was good, up until they checked on household members (notice I included son as a household member because he lived here, his attorney stated everything was done/dropped and nothing had to be disclosed) and because licensing office is a part of child protective services they were able to see the file. So I was told license was going to be denied as long as he was a member of the household (which I think is complete BS given child protective services dismissed the case), but my son (now being an adult) decided to move out so as not to hold my business pursuit up. NOW I am being told we can proceed forward BUT I have to sign an Agreement of Understanding and abide to all stipulations.

I understand they're trying to cover their butts with this and I have no problem agreeing to and signing an agreement that states he will not be present during business hours, or daycare children, or reside at this address while I am a licensed provider...HOWEVER I do NOT agree with them stating I have to make all potential parents aware of this agreement which clearly states the regulation rules in determine their decision, which if you look up the rules basically gives the impression that my son is a sexual abuser which he is not....I think that is unfair to state given he is no longer a member of this household and to then have to invade his privacy by explaining the situation over and over again just so I can have potential clients, which we all know it will automatically be assumed and he will automatically be judged.

*keep in mind also...the incident that occurred did NOT occur in my home (it was his fathers home), there are no restrictions regarding him and the girl being around each other, he is now living in the home the incident occurred in, and I have the psych evaluation to prove he is no danger and the stipulation of dismissal from court...

WHAT do I do at this point????? Do I sign agreement as stated and potentially be branded by opinions and perspective? Do I say no and give up, say no and fight with an appeals hearing? Do I try to find an attorney???? I am so lost now...

You want to keep your son’s privacy, then do not do daycare.

Something inappropriate happened, through all you’ve shared it doesn’t appear your son is a predator. However 4 years is a huge difference in my opinion when one is:

12 years old vs. 16 years old
14 years old vs. 18 years old
16 years old vs. 20 years old

If you can 100% comply with the Agreement of Understanding then I would open up. Yes, some parents would not choose your program once you divulge the information. It’s not a judgement. It’s a big decision and many parents will not want to take the perceived potential risk with their children. Other may view it as no risks and move forward with enrolling your children.

[Unregistered]

Just saying...

You want to keep your son’s privacy, then do not do daycare.

Something inappropriate happened, through all you’ve shared it doesn’t appear your son is a predator. However 4 years is a huge difference in my opinion when one is:

12 years old vs. 16 years old
14 years old vs. 18 years old
16 years old vs. 20 years old

If you can 100% comply with the Agreement of Understanding then I would open up. Yes, some parents would not choose your program once you divulge the information. It’s not a judgement. It’s a big decision and many parents will not want to take the perceived potential risk with their children. Other may view it as no risks and move forward with enrolling your children.

THIS! I wouldn't be very uncomfortable at all personally in this situation and even though your son was cleared of it I would always wonder what happened that led up to the charges in the first place and would not feel OK with my child in your daycare setting, even if he didn't live there. How would I know that he wasn't visiting? I wouldn't be able to go by just your promise he isnt.

If you want to open a daycare you should sign the agreement. If you're not OK with this then you should consider finding work at a daycare CENTER if you really still want to work with kids. At a center this wouldn't be an issue...just saying.

[spedmommy4]

It is my understanding that a persons juvenile records are sealed at age 18. In this case your child was cleared of any wrong doing and licensing still wants to hold it against him and you by forcing you to notify potential clients?

They should not have even looked at his juvenile records. It doesn't matter that they had access to them. The question is, did they have the right to? I know that even the police cannot review juvenile records without a judge's okay.

I don't know the details of what happened but it sounds like they were both teenagers. In that situation, the oldest teenager takes the punishment in the eyes of the law. But since he was cleared, it sounds like even the judge agreed he wasn't at fault.


If it were me, I would not sign. By signing, you are agreeing to review the incident with every potential client. I would have an attorney review this. On its face, it sounds like licensing is being way over zealous. Potentially, they even crossed the line by reviewing those juvenile records but only an attorney can confirm that.

[rosieteddy]

I would not open a daycare at all.This will hang over your head.If you sign and have to tell each client about it it will never go away. Life is hard why open yourself to this?Could you work at a childcare center instead? I would be afraid of false accusations against your family .I know it will be hard if you spent a lot of time and money but think about it.I bet what you already went through was a nightmare.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

It is my understanding that a persons juvenile records are sealed at age 18. In this case your child was cleared of any wrong doing and licensing still wants to hold it against him and you by forcing you to notify potential clients?

They should not have even looked at his juvenile records. It doesn't matter that they had access to them. The question is, did they have the right to? I know that even the police cannot review juvenile records without a judge's okay.

I don't know the details of what happened but it sounds like they were both teenagers. In that situation, the oldest teenager takes the punishment in the eyes of the law. But since he was cleared, it sounds like even the judge agreed he wasn't at fault.


If it were me, I would not sign. By signing, you are agreeing to review the incident with every potential client. I would have an attorney review this. On its face, it sounds like licensing is being way over zealous. Potentially, they even crossed the line by reviewing those juvenile records but only an attorney can confirm that.

I agree with this. Your son was not charged and everthing was dismissed, so he should not be a part of the decision at all when it comes to licensing. Passing a background test if he lives with you should be all that is required, and if this is showing up on his record and impeding in your ability to get licensed (and potentially his ability to get employed, rent a place, ect), you should contact an attorney for sure. They will help you get his records settled and get it straightened out with licensing I would think. Being investigated does not mean he was found guilty, so imo, no arrest, no charges, not forced to be on any registries and the fact that he is not living with you, makes me feel that you would definitely be able to fix this with the help of an attorney. Good luck!

*just to add, I would not sign ANYTHING until you see an attorney and have them review the situation.

[Unregistered]

My son was never arrested, never charged, and (bcuz we had the psych eval done) never substantiated and Never added to child abuse registry. They dismissed the case. But bcuz an initial file was open with child protective services it is viewable by child care licensing and because he lived with me I am being penalized even though he no longer lives with me and the incident didn't even occur at my home under my supervision!

I'm not signing anything and I probably won't get the opportunity to get my license now, but I'm going to fight this as much as possible bcuz this is not right on many levels.

[Unregistered]

What I find odd is your unwillingness to post your son's age at the time of said incident.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

What I find odd is your unwillingness to post your son's age at the time of said incident.

It is not relevant. He was not charged or found guilty, so it really doesn't matter. They dismissed the case.

[Unregistered]

Member logged out for privacy

I want to share my story in hopes it may enlighten some that seem to be in favor of licensing overstepping legal boundaries.

About 6 years ago, I moved from an enormous urban area to a very small town where everyone knows everyone. I had only lived there a few months when I received a visit from DHS. (Child protective services)

*Spoiler alert: This entire event occurred because the school educated my daughter about safe vs. unsafe touches but didn't specify where people shouldn't touch her.

DHS arrived to accuse my then 12 year old of inappropriately touching his sister. My daughters special education teacher had called in the report to DHS. DHS demanded to speak to both our kids. My son, the accused, wasn't even in the state. He had been with his grandparents all summer, so they talked to my daughter.

She told them that sometimes her brother picks on her, as siblings do, and she didn't like it. She said he had just pushed the week before. (Not possible since he was in another state) When the DHS guy asked her what her areas of her body were private, she answered, "well, my feet, my hands . . . ." They insisted that she was traumatized and needed counseling after talking to her for 10 minutes. (And during this 10 minutes she was giggling, playing, laughing, and even asked when her brother was coming home because she missed him)

DHS launched an investigation and basically harassed me at work and home for months. We finally hired a family law attorney to get them to leave us alone. Two weeks after hiring a lawyer we received an "unfounded" letter in the mail.

After the "investigation" was complete I went and asked the special education teacher specifically what my daughter had said that started the whole nightmare. I kid you not, word for word, it was . . .
DD "My older brother touched an unsafe space"
Teacher "What did he touch?"
DD "My feet" (followed by her giggling) Teacher said she had to call because she couldn't "get anymore out of her"

Note: She also has more than one older brother and NEVER specified which one to the teacher. This incident, despite being unfounded and ridiculous, remains on record with DHS where it occurred. My opinion is certainly colored by this event, but licensing should NOT be looking at those records. The whole purpose of an investigation is to determine if a law was broken.

Here, it was determined that a law was not broken and DHS is imposing a penalty. Not just against you, but against your child as well. Don't sign until you consult an attorney. At least have it reviewed by one. Best . . .

[Thriftylady]

You know I have started to hate DFS. Because of the over stepping. I realize we need them, but they are so busy running around getting into situations where they shouldn't be that they are not helping the kids they should be. I myself witnessed them loosing a child when she was in Foster care, and I know they did because she was with me for the weekend visiting her sibling while between foster homes. They later told me "she was never at your home". Okay where was she?? "Hmm I'm not sure but she wasn't with you". In this cases the girl and her sister were teens, and both knew exactly what was going on, but I couldn't convince my agency of that.

[Hunni Bee]

What I find odd is your unwillingness to post your son's age at the time of said incident.

Not really our business, now is it? He was cleared, it happened when he was juvenile and he's now an adult and he's since moved out. She's trying to get help with a total other issue.