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So I have a dcg who is 2 and she has never had issues coming to daycare, just a few times that she has been a little clingy to mom but even then, no crying or anything when mom leaves. Fast forward to the past week or so. Mom will come in and say "oh she started crying when we pulled up and didn't want to come" and then hug dcg and cuddle her. I am like, what do I say to that?!! I usually say it is normal and we will get busy and she will be fine, but it is annoying me. I get that kids don't want to come, but why would you tell someone that your child really doesn't want to come to their house or cries when they do? It seems kind of mean to me. Best to not say anything at all imo. It doesn't help that dcm is a friend of mine, so it hurts a little more. I just want to say, "oh, well you say she doesn't want to be here, so take her home and we will go about having our fun day! Peace out!" I just think it is rude. Anyone else feel this way or maybe I am being too sensitive.
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Just to add that the main thing that bugs me is that when she says dcg doesn't want to be here, she looks at me like I am suppose to do something about it. Nothing has chaged here so there is no reason for dcg not wanting to come, other than she is two and rules the house and her parents. She has shown up in pjs three times now, because she didn't to get dressed. Since when does a child get the choice and since when do those responsibilites fall on the provider? I am getting burnt out i think. If she doesn't want to come and you are acting all put out by that, then DON"T COME! Please! -
I would probably mention that the extra cuddles she's getting when she cries might be encouraging the tears.Comment
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been there done that.
I think the parents tell us this because it makes them feel better about leaving them. knowing that they are wanted by their child.
I say this to the parent and child. Awe, I know how hard it is to leave all of your favorite things and your mommy or daddy, but you are going to have a fun day all day today just like you did yesterday.
I look at the parent and then say, hey who wouldn't rather stay home in comfort than have to go to school or work.Comment
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I'm not sure I'd have the balls to do this but I would like to think I did, but the next time she says DCG doesn't want to come to daycare call her out on it and tell her that you wouldn't feel right forcing her to do something she clearly doesn't want to do so maybe it would be best if mom kept her that day instead of leaving her at daycare. Or even suggest that since she is so unhappy at daycare that maybe mom should find a different daycare. I wonder if she (DCM) would change her tune if you just put it all on the line like that and called her bluff.Comment
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You can ask dcm how she would like the situation resolved? Ask her what she thinks would help? I would be curious as to how she would respond. Does dcm want you to do more activities, give more hugs? Turn the situation around on her. And you are right.....she is being very rude.Comment
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I would just tell her she shouldn't EVER have to go somewhere she doesn't want to go to. Just let you know when she wants to come back. If she doesn't want to come back make sure you give the notice in the contract.
Hopefully we will see you guys tomorrow... just text and let me know if she wants to come.
When she comes in pajamas just leave them on her and say the same thing to mom that she said to you. "She didn't want to get dressed" "She didn't want to get dressed""Comment
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Yep, I had a parent say that once. I stepped in front of the door and said, "Oh, we'll try again tomorrow!" Shocked parent handed me the child and ran to the car. I never heard that comment again. I tell all of my parents that not all providers are right for the family as not all children fit in with the dynamics of my group. If your child doesn't want to be here than I want the parents to make other arrangements.Comment
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Have a mom that does this......1st like BC tells me.....take the emotions out of it, it makes it so much clearer to see, and figure out the best course of action.
My dcm is like most, and needs to feel important and needed to her babe.
I give it to her by saying.....of course your baby would like to stay and play with you for the day, you are his momma! Sometimes I add a little....I can see the love in his eyes for you, so cute...blah....blah....blah...
And all of this is actually true, so it's easy to say.
As much as I hate to say it.....sometimes our job not only includes appeasing the children and babes, but more so the parents.
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Truthfully, that would annoy me to. Parents need to keep those things to themselves. I used to have a boy who the parents would swear up and down that he only poops his pants at my house and they don't understand why. Then one day Dad starts talking and lets it slip that he does it at home to. I was really at the end of my rope with that family. When something like that happens I just reassure that they will be fun in a matter of minutes. A 2 year old will manipulate the parents with that. It's nothing you have done wrong so she should not be saying anything to you.
DebComment
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This was my friggin' niece! Why did she act like this? because the extra drama got her extra cuddles and positive attention from her dad who did all of the drop offs. I requested that my sister start dropping her off and guess what? no issues. It REALLY is about the behavior of the parent. Some parents just want to desperately create drama for their kids, they thrive on it.
This mother is reinforcing the behavior by talking about it to you and giving cuddles and attention. She is probably asking her all sorts of questions in the car about it and thus giving more attention instead of ignoring the child. Tell the mom that she needs to make drop off super quick and there will be no more talk about the kid hating daycare unless she wants to place her elsewhere. I would also suggest someone else drops the kid off, someone without this drama history.Comment
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