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Guys I'm in desperate need of advice! I have a new dcg almost 9 months old. Well today is day 3 and I'm wore out! She is ver demanding and wants to be held or have you right beside her the whole time. As soon as something changes like moving over, or getting up she throws a bloody fit! Screams to the top of her lungs kinda fit! What are some tips to help break her from this clingy, spoiled stage?! Anything I can do to help her? I try not to give in because I know it will just make her continue. But after awhile she gets my other 8 month old crying and throwing a fit. I don't want to even think about terming within the first week, but I don't think I've had one this bad before. Any advice will be appreciated.. Please !!
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I have an 11 month old that tried this a few weeks ago...not sure what happened because he was a good baby...I have had him since 6 weeks...anyway, I find success with a soft area....i.e. I put a 2 inch nap mat covered with sheet and some soft toys, pillows beside a couch....he is not confined but when he cries I put him there. If he crawls out not crying, I let him go on and play but if he crawls out crying, I calmly put him back in his soft area. Consistency is the key so he learns that his behavior choice determines his play time. Even at a young age, I feel he can learn this. Good luck
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Has she been in care before? Sounds like the typical separation anxiety and it will take a few weeks (at least 2 weeks, possibly more) for her to get used to you enough to stop crying so much. There isn't much you can do if this is the case, try to continue to comfort her and see how it pans out.Comment
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i dont know if you can spoil a child of this age, it sounds like this is the way she has been brought up to comfort the child.
i would talk to the parents asap and let them know that this is going on.
honestly, not to rain on your parade, but these are the types of things that you should know about before taking the child into care. this way you can tell the parents how group care is ran and what you will expect from them and their child.
parents are going to do what works for them at home. They have to understand that what they can offer at home, you more than likely cannot. Like holding the child all day, or holding while sleeping or havng to rock to sleep and etc.
I would however give it more time, it will take 21+ times for the child to build new habits both good and bad.
do you have a trial period? if you do and during that time you don't see any progress, i would term.
how often does the child attend?Comment
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Well I always ask upon signing on a child and it was never disclosed. It was actually the opposite. You know, oh she's a good baby, calm, good eater, good napper. Then when I discussed it with mom I was told "yea, she's spoiled. I've tried breaking her. But all she wants is her way or held."
DCM knew that I had other children and would not be able to pack her around all the time.
DCG is here anywhere from 3-4 days moms schedule changes weekly.Comment
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Daycare, I always love reading your post! But for once, I disagree with you...I do think a child can be spoiled at this age....I have a 9 month old right now that stops crying if I remotely act like I am going to pick him up....Granted, his parents made him this way and they are aware we are on a time-frame to fix it...but these parents are doing these kids NO favors by this style parenting. I explained the group care issue and I think after 6 weeks and my ultimatum they finally get it.....I realize some of this can be from arrival/transition of home to child care, but I am finding this "spoiled syndrome" to be the norm with infants in the last few years.
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I agree. If mom has already readily admitted it I would have a sit down, discuss the steps you are taking so that HER child is happier and adjusts to group care and the steps you need her to take to get on board. Star on the calendar if it doesn't work out.Daycare, I always love reading your post! But for once, I disagree with you...I do think a child can be spoiled at this age....I have a 9 month old right now that stops crying if I remotely act like I am going to pick him up....Granted, his parents made him this way and they are aware we are on a time-frame to fix it...but these parents are doing these kids NO favors by this style parenting. I explained the group care issue and I think after 6 weeks and my ultimatum they finally get it.....I realize some of this can be from arrival/transition of home to child care, but I am finding this "spoiled syndrome" to be the norm with infants in the last few years.Comment
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we can all agree to disagree. Its comforting.
it is a natural response to console a crying baby. these parents obviously chose instant responding as a method to console the baby. like attachment parenting.
the child is only doing what it has been conditioned to do, I see it as a form of attachment parenting in some ways.
spoiled is when a child is a child who displays behavioral problems.Comment
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I took a baby into my dc after someone at softball told a friend of hers that I do dc. When she interviewed she said he was some what spoiled, I did not think much of it and he started. From the time he got dropped off to pick up he would cry. After 3 months of this I termed them. Upon further conversation with the mom, he was held all the time at home and only by mom. She told me she couldn't stand to here him cry and was so afraid he was going to get hurt she just held him. After my other clients deemed him that child that cries all the time I new it was time to term. Hopefully this child will adjust. Try the play and walk away method. Play with her for a while then move away and do that through out the day.
DebComment
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the only way this would work out is that if the mom agrees to stop what she is doing at home with DCK. she has to teach the child to self soothe, as this is what is required of YOUR program.Comment
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