Baby Refuses Bottle First Days Back

[Unregistered]

I'm the mother. My 4 month old takes the bottle Wednesday Thursday and Friday but does not want to eat Monday or Tuesday. We are breastfeeding. On the weekends I feed him an ounce each day from the bottle with no problem. Dad and gramma have also fed him. He knows how to use a bottle. I feed him on the weekends with a bottle so he won't forget come Monday.

My caregiver is becoming frustrated and other than baby led feeding and sleeping, we are out of options. Doctor says baby is thriving and to try feeding on demand rather than the schedule that works 3 days a week. Some weeks he cries and moves his head from side to side, other weeks he was happy but just refused to latch. On days when he wont eat, she can force him to take 4-6 ounces but it might take 45 minutes to get him 1 ounce. This is not sustainable.

Any suggestions? Doc thinks he just misses mom on Monday and Tuesday but a crying not sleeping wants to be held always baby is very demanding on my caregiver. Help?

[daycarediva]

Wear/sleep with a blanket of his (your smell) and bring that into daycare on Monday. Try having only Dad give bottles (so he associates breastfeeding with you and bottles with others). He probably IS missing you and the comfort/closeness he gets from nursing.

Also, in my state it is a regulation that all babies are fed on demand.

[nannyde]

An ounce a day isn't enough. Go to a full feed twice a day.

[Unregistered]

Monday and Tuesday he might eat 4 to 6 ounces over the 10 hours at DC. Today he got 4 and she was trying to do baby led. Of course it ruined everyone else's schedule today. My suggestion for her was to try 2oz every 2hours. She says she has tried everything to get him to eat. Today I suggested she pick one or two methods and only try those so maybe baby will associate whatever she does with her and eating from a bottle. Like a feeding at daycare association.

I will try the blanket trick. We tried the shirt I wore the day before but she didn't think it helped. She really wants to feed him at 930, 1230, and 330. I've asked her to keep those but also try more frequent offering, like offer 2 hours. She says he's hungry and tired but he won't eat and she can't easily tell if he's just hungry or just tired but assumes he is both.

Doc thinks baby should be fed when he first arrives between 7 and 8. Any more thoughts? If this doesn't get better in the next two weeks, we will probably be told to find another DC.

[Thriftylady]

The provider should be feeding on demand, but the baby needs to actually eat on demand. You bottle feeding one ounce per day won't work. Do as mentioned above and have dad or grandma or someone do a full feeding from the bottle once a day EVERY day. Otherwise the baby won't be getting enough fluids if you can't work this out.

[Leigh]

Monday and Tuesday he might eat 4 to 6 ounces over the 10 hours at DC. Today he got 4 and she was trying to do baby led. Of course it ruined everyone else's schedule today. My suggestion for her was to try 2oz every 2hours. She says she has tried everything to get him to eat. Today I suggested she pick one or two methods and only try those so maybe baby will associate whatever she does with her and eating from a bottle. Like a feeding at daycare association.

I will try the blanket trick. We tried the shirt I wore the day before but she didn't think it helped. She really wants to feed him at 930, 1230, and 330. I've asked her to keep those but also try more frequent offering, like offer 2 hours. She says he's hungry and tired but he won't eat and she can't easily tell if he's just hungry or just tired but assumes he is both.

Doc thinks baby should be fed when he first arrives between 7 and 8. Any more thoughts? If this doesn't get better in the next two weeks, we will probably be told to find another DC.

I would make sure that baby is fed BEFORE being dropped off at daycare. I agree with the previous posters about using bottles more at home. Maybe bottles in the daytime, and breast feeding at night, or doing every-other.

You are very kind to be concerned about your child's caregiver, but the concern is really for your child. Your baby is certainly the one who will benefit from being used to the bottle. Good luck!

[nannyde]

Monday and Tuesday he might eat 4 to 6 ounces over the 10 hours at DC. Today he got 4 and she was trying to do baby led. Of course it ruined everyone else's schedule today. My suggestion for her was to try 2oz every 2hours. She says she has tried everything to get him to eat. Today I suggested she pick one or two methods and only try those so maybe baby will associate whatever she does with her and eating from a bottle. Like a feeding at daycare association.

I will try the blanket trick. We tried the shirt I wore the day before but she didn't think it helped. She really wants to feed him at 930, 1230, and 330. I've asked her to keep those but also try more frequent offering, like offer 2 hours. She says he's hungry and tired but he won't eat and she can't easily tell if he's just hungry or just tired but assumes he is both.

Doc thinks baby should be fed when he first arrives between 7 and 8. Any more thoughts? If this doesn't get better in the next two weeks, we will probably be told to find another DC.

Two ounces every two hours is unrealistic. It isn't just the feeding. She has to convection heat the bottle... feed... burp... and most likely have a dirty diaper to follow. From the time she's done with that sequence she is going to have maybe an hour and a half before she has to heat the next two ounces.

The baby should be fed right before you leave the house. The schedule she has is pretty close to spot on for the age. She is finishing the 930 feed around 950 so it's about 2 hrs and 40 minutes until the next feed.

You can switch providers if you want but one of two things are going to happen. The same thing or a lying provider. If it's miraculously cured by switching providers she will most likely be lying.

Your baby is not nipple converted. It's that simple. It's your job to do ALL the work to make sure he is. If that means doing bottles at home until he can switch back and forth then you have to make it happen. Start with two FULL feed bottles per day at home. If the baby balks at the bottles the next daycare day... then go to three. Whatever it takes to get him.chugging bottles at daycare.

She shouldn't need to do anything but tell you what the outcome is for that day. She shouldn't need to "work" with him. She needs to be able to get him on a decent schedule and have him gladly take the nipple.

Baby led is great in theory but most veteran providers can get a four month old on a feed schedule of three hours from start of first bottle to start of next bottle within a week or so. When you are convection heating a bottle that can't be reused if not taken, you need to have a schedule. It's way more work than formula feeding so you need to make sure it is as easy as possible for her so she has ample time to care for the other kids.

Having a baby who can't eat is the seventh level of hell in daycare. It's your job to make sure he can eat when he is away from you without expecting MORE feedings and more time.

Do more bottles and full feeds at your house and your problem will be solved.

[nanglgrl]

Two ounces every two hours is unrealistic. It isn't just the feeding. She has to convection heat the bottle... feed... burp... and most likely have a dirty diaper to follow. From the time she's done with that sequence she is going to have maybe an hour and a half before she has to heat the next two ounces.

The baby should be fed right before you leave the house. The schedule she has is pretty close to spot on for the age. She is finishing the 930 feed around 950 so it's about 2 hrs and 40 minutes until the next feed.

You can switch providers if you want but one of two things are going to happen. The same thing or a lying provider. If it's miraculously cured by switching providers she will most likely be lying.

Your baby is not nipple converted. It's that simple. It's your job to do ALL the work to make sure he is. If that means doing bottles at home until he can switch back and forth then you have to make it happen. Start with two FULL feed bottles per day at home. If the baby balks at the bottles the next daycare day... then go to three. Whatever it takes to get him.chugging bottles at daycare.

She shouldn't need to do anything but tell you what the outcome is for that day. She shouldn't need to "work" with him. She needs to be able to get him on a decent schedule and have him gladly take the nipple.

Baby led is great in theory but most veteran providers can get a four month old on a feed schedule of three hours from start of first bottle to start of next bottle within a week or so. When you are convection heating a bottle that can't be reused if not taken, you need to have a schedule. It's way more work than formula feeding so you need to make sure it is as easy as possible for her so she has ample time to care for the other kids.

Having a baby who can't eat is the seventh level of hell in daycare. It's your job to make sure he can eat when he is away from you without expecting MORE feedings and more time.

Do more bottles and full feeds at your house and your problem will be solved.

^it couldn't be said better. This woman should write a book..oh wait. Lol

[Unregistered]

Just to be clear... He eats more than an ounce a day. But sometimes it takes her 45 minutes to get him to take an ounce on Mondays and Tuesdays. I do feed him before we leave the house. He gets on her schedule 3 days of the week and is generally happy on those days.

The reason we would switch is that my doctor says if she's getting frustrated, then find a new provider for baby's safety. Also we might switch if our daycare lady says "this is too frustrating, we aren't meshing, find someone else to care for baby because I cant."

[nannyde]

Just to be clear... He eats more than an ounce a day. But sometimes it takes her 45 minutes to get him to take an ounce on Mondays and Tuesdays. I do feed him before we leave the house. He gets on her schedule 3 days of the week and is generally happy on those days.

The reason we would switch is that my doctor says if she's getting frustrated, then find a new provider for baby's safety. Also we might switch if our daycare lady says "this is too frustrating, we aren't meshing, find someone else to care for baby because I cant."

I understand he eats more than an ounce a day.

I'm saying when you give him an ounce bottle at home, it's not enough. He needs to have a FULL four to five ounce bottle at your house twice a day.

There's a reason you have done one ounce bottles on your days with him. It's easier to do a small ... very small... amount on your clock and then breastfeed. It doesn't help him in ANY way to have a one ounce feed. When you take him back to daycare it is as if he hasn't had a bottle since he left the last day.

If it takes 45 minutes for him to take an ounce he is expending more energy than he is getting in calories. She should NOT have to deal with devoting that kind of time to feeding and then have a hungry baby afterwards.

You know how to fix it now. The question is... will you do the work it takes to nipple train him. This isn't about what she does.

You can switch daycare but unless you find lying daycare provider or desperate daycare provider... you will have to keep switching until you get him nipple trained.

You could find someone who offers him a five minute start on the bottle and if he's rejecting it or unable to do it... just stop and wait for the next feed time. The provider can tell you whatever it takes to get paid on Friday. If you want to be SURE he is chowing his bottles do the hard work and make it happen.

[Indoorvoice]

I have been working with an infant since he was 3 months with this same issue. He wanted to have the bottle in his mouth all day and just take sips at a time. It's very difficult to accommodate that in group care. His parents begrudgingly decided to help me when I told them I thought he needed a nanny. They began only doing bottle feedings at home and it took a good 2 weeks of them being consistent with this before it helped. To this day, I can tell when they haven't been consistent over the weekends because he goes back to his old ways. I know it's very hard to bottle feed at home instead of breastfeed - my own daughter did this in daycare as well and all I wanted was to snuggle and breastfeed when I got home, but it wasn't worth her struggle at daycare. You just need to buckle down and do only bottle feeds at home for a while until he gets used to taking a whole feeding at a time from the bottle. Wait until he is good and hungry before offering the bottle and hold him in his feeding position until the bottle is gone so he can start understanding that feeding time isn't over until he takes a good amount.

[laundrymom]

I'm of a complete different opinion although I completely agree w NannyDe

I'm on year 28 of being a provider. Oodles of BF babies and while I agree w Nan's complete post, I wonder if it's more of a
"Missing momma" issue than a nipple or bottle issue. If this happens here I have mom sleep w a blanket on weekends and use it to wrap baby on Monday.
It seems to help some babies.
Just a thought.

[morgan24]

I had the same issue with my current breast fed baby. I bought an instant read thermonter and heat his milk in a bottle warmer. The temperature has to be between 98.6 and 100 or he refuses to eat. Hope you get it worked out.

[Unregistered]

I'm of a complete different opinion although I completely agree w NannyDe

I'm on year 28 of being a provider. Oodles of BF babies and while I agree w Nan's complete post, I wonder if it's more of a
"Missing momma" issue than a nipple or bottle issue. If this happens here I have mom sleep w a blanket on weekends and use it to wrap baby on Monday.
It seems to help some babies.
Just a thought.

already tried the shirt from mom trick
the caregiver didn't think it helped at all
it was mentioned in the first couple of posts

[Leigh]

I had the same issue with my current breast fed baby. I bought an instant read thermonter and heat his milk in a bottle warmer. The temperature has to be between 98.6 and 100 or he refuses to eat. Hope you get it worked out.

I had one whose bottle had to be JUST RIGHT recently, too!