Bathroom Went Parent Arrives. HELP!!

[daycare]

UGH.

I have never had this issue before and don't know how to deal with it.

I have a dck who is in the stages of PTing. I posted about it last week. The one about poop all over my bathroom.

Well dck all day never says they have to go to the toilet. my staff tells the child to go on potty breaks and the child does for the most part, but still has accidents all though out the day.

when all of the kids get up from nap, they are all changed or required to sit on the toilet. this child does sit on the toilet, but is not actually doing anything when once there.

about 20 min after nap time, this kid gets picked up. as soon as dcm walks in the door, dck says I have to go to the bathroom, mommy take me. dcm arrived yesterday with two other kids, 1 older sibling and a friend. about ages 7-9. my staff offered to take dck to the bathroom, but dck says no mommy. so dcm takes dck to the bathroom, which leads to a 30 min ordeal. during this time the two older kids that came with are up front going nuts, running around, throwing things at a lamp and broke it. My staff told them several times to stop. My staff ended up kicking them out of the house and made them sit on the porch, closed my front door. this has happened on 3 different days now, with yesterday being the worst.

dcm finally comes out of the bathroom with dck and asks where the other two kids are. My staff said that they were out of control and broke the lamp, (this lamp hangs from the ceiling and it's now on the ground) so she sent them to sit on the porch. DCM starts going off saying they are too young to sit out there alone. my staff tells dcm sorry, they can't be in here acting that way, they are too much of a liability and they are getting all of the other kids worked up. My staff then told dcm next time staff will take dck to the bathroom so you can wait outside on the porch with them. dcm leaves pretty mad.

I am here at the house, but laid up with a cast and crutches.

about 15 min go by and my staff comes to my room and says you have to see this. Oh boy.

we go to the bathroom dck and dcm just used and it's TRASHED. poop all over the toilet, tissue papers all over the floor and hand towels every where. WTH. I don't normally make my staff clean the toilets, but today they had to.

My staff and I are all fuming mad about this. I decide I am too mad to call or email dcm at that time, that I will talk to the dcm about it a drop off today. well that didn't go so well.

Sorry this has gotten so long.

I told dcm that from now on that when dck ask to use the bathroom only staff will take dck. dcm says but dck won't go for you guys, so that means an accident is going to happen. i told dcm I can't allow for what happened yesterday to happen again and we left it at that.

i think my staff did a great job handling the situation. but now where do I go from here. DCK is not going to let us take them to the bathroom once the parents are here and will insist on going to the bathroom. i don't want to deny anyone the right to use the toilet, but like I said this definitely can NOT let that happen again.

I need some ideas. HELP

[Leigh]

Just no. I would have termed just because mom left the bathroom in that condition! Tell DCM that it WON'T happen again, and that if the kid wont go for your staff, them he can go in a diaper.

[Play Care]

Honestly, there really is nothing else to do but term here.

[Leigh]

Honestly, there really is nothing else to do but term here.

[daycare]

I guess without witnessing the bathroom being destroyed by them, I can't really point the finger. it is possible another kid did it, but won't confess.

My staff pointed the finger at them because to their knowledge they were the last to use it.

this family has been awesome up until the PTing. I have had them for almost 6 years, going on second child.

[daycare]

Just no. I would have termed just because mom left the bathroom in that condition! Tell DCM that it WON'T happen again, and that if the kid wont go for your staff, them he can go in a diaper.

this was my thought. we did out job, dck was offered toilet time and didn't use it. so they can wait until they go home or go back in a diaper.

btw they are in pull ups, which is basically a fancy diaper if you ask me.

[Blackcat31]

Stop allowing daycare boy the option of using the bathroom at that time.

Mom arrives for pick up
DCB says "I have to go to the bathroom, mommy take me"

You say "Sorry DCB, you were just given the opportunity to use the bathroom. You do not need to go now. If you do, you best hurry and get going with mom so you can go at home. Have a good night! See you tomorrow!"

This is the exact same song and dance the kids put on in regards to needing a drink or being hungry the second their parent arrives.

He does not NEED to go. He just wants to use it as attention.

Tell mom he just had the opportunity before she arrived so you are not going to play into his game now.

[hope]

I had this same issue. Dcg would hold it all day long till dcm came and then they spent a half hour here while I watched her sibling for free. I told dcm that dcg needed to go with me before pick up or not at all. She lived 10 minutes from my home so she could go home and use the bathroom there. Dcm usually ran errands after pick up so this threw a wrench into her plans. It was then that she really started to push for dcg to use the potty with others.

[daycare]

Stop allowing daycare boy the option of using the bathroom at that time.

Mom arrives for pick up
DCB says "I have to go to the bathroom, mommy take me"

You say "Sorry DCB, you were just given the opportunity to use the bathroom. You do not need to go now. If you do, you best hurry and get going with mom so you can go at home. Have a good night! See you tomorrow!"

This is the exact same song and dance the kids put on in regards to needing a drink or being hungry the second their parent arrives.

He does not NEED to go. He just wants to use it as attention.

Tell mom he just had the opportunity before she arrived so you are not going to play into his game now.

this is exactly what I told my staff. I think its an attention thing. I think dcm is promising a treat of some kind if the toilet is used here.

I always deny the water or i am hungry thing, but I thought that this might be seen differently since it's something that this child is learning to control and is having a hard time with it.

thanks for the input. I am going to try this.

UGH...

[daycarediva]

Stop allowing daycare boy the option of using the bathroom at that time.

Mom arrives for pick up
DCB says "I have to go to the bathroom, mommy take me"

You say "Sorry DCB, you were just given the opportunity to use the bathroom. You do not need to go now. If you do, you best hurry and get going with mom so you can go at home. Have a good night! See you tomorrow!"

This is the exact same song and dance the kids put on in regards to needing a drink or being hungry the second their parent arrives.

He does not NEED to go. He just wants to use it as attention.

Tell mom he just had the opportunity before she arrived so you are not going to play into his game now.

I would be TICKED about the bathroom.

One more chance- you tell dcm staff will take dck 5 minutes before pickup. I would repeat what BC said above if dck tried to pull the potty thing.

I do NOT allow siblings/other children in my program. They would have been asked to sit outside

[MarinaVanessa]

I guess for me if any kid is still having potty accidents then they are not potty trained and need to either be in diapers, pull-ups or training pants. Potty training for me starts at home and then I work on it at daycare. If they are successful at home but not at daycare then sorry, back to diapers it is. One accident and the child goes back to a diaper for 2 weeks, another accident and the 2 weeks start all over again. I would still take the child to the bathroom to practice going into the bathroom but never unsupervised. That would help illuminate the issue with poop all over the place.

I think your staff and you handled your situation the best way you could. Let DCM be mad. Whether you terminate or not is up to you but stick to what you said and don't allow DCM to go to the bathroom with her child. Not only has DCB shown that he can't keep the mess contained but DCM has shown that she can't contain the mess either so definitely don't allow DCB alone in the bathroom or DCM in the bathroom to help. If she feels like DCB won't go for you and might have an accident have her provide training pants so there's no mess in her car.

DCB is refusing to go for you guys ... mom can't save him every time, which it sounds like is what he wants.

[NeedaVaca]

What did mom say about the bathroom mess? Deny it?

[daycare]

What did mom say about the bathroom mess? Deny it?

well here is my only view on the bathroom. my staff can not 100% confirm that they were the last ones to use it. We still had 6 other kids in care at the time that could have been the ones to use it.

staff did ask all of the kids who used the bathroom last and no one spoke up, so we don't know for certain that dcm and dck did it or if one of the other dcks did it.

both staff said they were only 90% sure that it was dcm. they did not notice it for about 150-20 until after they left.

Our dcks are only supposed to use the bathroom by asking to leave the classroom area, but sometimes they just go without asking.

so i am not too sure how to approach that.

[daycare]

What did mom say about the bathroom mess? Deny it?

well here is my only view on the bathroom. my staff can not 100% confirm that they were the last ones to use it. We still had 6 other kids in care at the time that could have been the ones to use it.

staff did ask all of the kids who used the bathroom last and no one spoke up, so we don't know for certain that dcm and dck did it or if one of the other dcks did it.

both staff said they were only 90% sure that it was dcm. they did not notice it for about 150-20 until after they left.

Our dcks are only supposed to use the bathroom by asking to leave the classroom area, but sometimes they just go without asking.

so i am not too sure how to approach that.

[childcaremom]

To play devil's advocate...

If the bathroom was the messy, would she have used it? Chances are she wouldn't have, or at least would have said something.

Ugh. Don't envy you this.