Are People Just Getting More Lax?

[Josiegirl]

Or was I a super paranoid parent?
I was looking around pinterest this a.m. for some toddler activity ideas and found lots of ideas that used pompoms, beans, corn, flour, etc. I know supervision is key to safe play but come on, with 6 dcks how do you keep your eyes on everybody's mouth 100% of the time? I started 14 month old twins yesterday and need to keep them busy as well as the older toddlers/preschoolers.
Plus I've had parents come in and not even know what's in their child's coat pockets until their child pulls things out. Dimes. Gems. Stones. You name it. I had a pedi's family many years ago and her ds used to eat peanuts at 18 months old.
Stuff like this scares me.

[mommiebookworm]

I know! I have a 16 month old, that mom let's walk down the front steps by herself. I guess she's probably tumbled down the ones at home enough that mine are a piece of cake!

[midaycare]

I've been wondering the exact same thing!

[Thriftylady]

I seem to get parents who are the exact opposite. My girl I just termed recently, her mom didn't want her to have peanut butter until she was four, didn't want to feed her any table foods because of fear of choking at 16 months mom was still feeding her baby food!

[BabyMonkeys]

I use dry oatmeal for my young toddlers to play in. It doesn't particularly taste good, and it won't hurt them if they eat it. I give them a measuring cup and some spoons and things to hide and let them go at it.

I have two 20m and 14m now and I just introduced them to non-toxic water beads. I wasn't optimistic it would be a success, but surprisingly they only tried to put them in their mouth a few times. I have an advantage in that I only have the 3 though.

They LOVE balls. I have a bunch of the ball pit balls that they will throw and then go chase them over and over again. They will yell "throw!" and then they all go get them. May not be appropriate in your house, mine is set up pretty much for littles, and they aren't as wild as I imagine preschoolers would be.

They love the dog food treat jars that you can get at dollar tree. They are clear plastic with a screw on lid. They will put anything and everything in them over and over again and then dump them out. At the moment they like to put little people in them, but they aren't picky. Anything that will fit is fair game.

The stacking ring toys are the absolute favorite, and pretty much the only thing they will REALLY fight over. They bicker about everything else, they are toddlers after all, but that is the best of the best toy. I have 3 of them, but it still isn't enough.

[finsup]

I seem to get parents who are the exact opposite. My girl I just termed recently, her mom didn't want her to have peanut butter until she was four, didn't want to feed her any table foods because of fear of choking at 16 months mom was still feeding her baby food!

That's what I'm seeing too. Parents who are terrified to let their toddlers be, well, toddlers. I scare them a bit with what my own does ("you mean she can climb up AND go down the slide?! On her own?!" ...yes its like a foot off the ground and meant for this age, she's climbed worse inside ). Activities with small pom poms, corn etc, no...not a chance. I know my crew and they will (or at least two of them) try to eat it.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Most of the parents i meet now are very lax about discipline, but very helicopter parent when it comes to letting their kid do stuff for themselves. They carry them alot and will do everything thing, even spoon feeding grown toddlers. It is weird.

Discipline: "We want little Jimmy to have the freedom to express himself so we avoid using words like no and we allow him to decide the course of his day."

Playing/Feeding/Sleeping: "Little Jimmy may get hurt or have his self esteem hurt, so we hover over him during play (no cuts or scrapes!), cut his food into tiny bits and spoon feed him (don't want him to choke or get the shirt I just bought on Etsy all messy), breast feed him to sleep (my boob is his personal chew toy) and co sleep so I can check on him through the night (easier to bf when he is right next to me and my boob is already half hanging out his mouth), ect."

I have great parents now, and they have all done some version of these things. They are super particular about MANY things, but when it comes to discipline, they look like a deer in the headlights, because they finally have to admit that they have no idea how to handle their two year old. And that is OKAY! Most people don't know good ways to handle a two year old when they are in a full blown fit. Duck and cover is what many parents look like they want to do. It is the only area where many of my parents let me take the lead and they listen to my advice. I think it is the one thing that they really can use a helping hand and they know it. Just don't tell them how to get their baby to seep through the night!!

[spud912]

I had a pedi's family many years ago and her ds used to eat peanuts at 18 months old.

I usually introduce my children to peanut butter between the ages of 12 months to 2 years old. New evidence shows that it is actually better to introduce highly allergic food younger. Whole peanuts I delay until later (or chop it) due to the fact it is a choking hazard.

[auntymimi]

I'm one of those lax parents with my own children, but then maybe that's why they're so independent? Obviously I wouldn't give my 2 yo whole grape or hard candy, or let them swim by themselves, or anything crazy but ,yeah ,they climb slides and they eat on "real" plates with actual silverware and the like. I'm much more watchful with the dck though. I have a 5 yo who still mouths everything!
I use baby cereal as sensory bin filler for my toddlers with cups and spoons, or even in the sand table.

[childcaremom]

I've done oatmeal as a sensory filler, as well. Those ideas always look fantastic but,yeah, can't imagine doing them with a young group. I think the pinterest bloggers/posters are probably moms with their own children, not daycare children. I'm always more cautious with the dcks.

I send home reminders to check pockets but if that happened, I would be speaking to mom and dad to remind them again. That's so dangerous and I think they just don't think of the consequences. Or forget what it was like to have little people around who still mouth things.

I think the whole peanut allergy mindset is changing. I think the idea is to get them exposed to it, rather than waiting, to try to reduce the number of allergies developed to it. My dcks are usually around 11-12 mos when they start and they've all had peanuts and most other nuts, as well.

[Controlled Chaos]

Stairs are so dependent on life experience. My kids spent their first 5 years in a 3rd story walk up apartment. So they all were going up and down independently around 15m. It drove my mother in law crazy but I wasn't going to carry a perfectly capable toddler. And I always prefer a lax parent to a helicopter parent!

[Josiegirl]

I usually introduce my children to peanut butter between the ages of 12 months to 2 years old. New evidence shows that it is actually better to introduce highly allergic food younger. Whole peanuts I delay until later (or chop it) due to the fact it is a choking hazard.

Right! I cannot imagine giving an 18 mo peanuts to eat. I don't care how many teeth that child has.

[spud912]

When it comes to my older children (4 and 6 years old), I'm definitely more lax. They play outside in our yard by themselves (sometimes for hours on the weekend), they wake up before us on the weekend and feed themselves and clean up, they have chores (like cleaning the bathrooms, floors, bedrooms, wiping down the playroom), they do most of the bathing by themselves (with me in the room tending to our youngest child), etc. Because they spend so much time outside, I do tend to find random things in their pockets (even pinecones on occasion ).

As far as our youngest, who just turned 1, I have been teaching her how to go down the stairs independently. While we do have gates at the top and bottom of the stairs in the house, the sooner she learns, the safer the house will be for her. I would not give her anything sensory at this point that can fit in her mouth. She just puts everything in her mouth and would not get the sensory experience. I do give her interesting textures to eat though (like mashed potatoes, yogurt). I give her a spoon, which she doesn't use at all....she digs in with her hands .

When it comes to daycare kids, I'm much more cautious for liability reasons. They don't leave my sight when they are awake, I check their pockets, I don't allow them to play with small objects if they tend to mouth things (regardless of age), I chop all their food into little chunks, etc.

[spinnymarie]

When it comes to daycare kids, I'm much more cautious for liability reasons. They don't leave my sight when they are awake, I check their pockets, I don't allow them to play with small objects if they tend to mouth things (regardless of age), I chop all their food into little chunks, etc.

I agree. This is the difference between your own children and someone else's.

[Cat Herder]

The substrate/manipulative bins are part of the QRIS stuff. I am using oatmeal, corn meal, flax seed, birdseed, play dough's, slimes, etc. too, now.

They have to dig, pour, measure, weigh and scoop everyday... part of "quality" scoring.

I just put them in dish bins, one for each child and have them do it as table top activities (small group, two at a time).

It keeps them cleanish, gets me the points and limits liability.