How to Deal With Nitpicky Parents?

[NillaWafers]

Here I am again, writing about the two new dcgs and their related mom's that just signed up. Today was their first day and I can only say that their children were pretty great. I really like their girls. However, the parents are gonna give me an anxiety attack.

a) My backyard is dirt. They knew that when they signed up. DCG with allergies had a red eye. She also has peanut allergy and asthma. I kept a very close watch on her eye and breathing and noticed nothing, so I did not bring it up with mom immediately, just at pickup. Mom was upset I didn't call her immediately, basically asked me to wash her hands like 4x while outside :-\ She also said she has outdoor allergies, but doesn't take anything daily (just has Clairitin in her emergency bag). I said there is a lot of dirt out there, but we are getting wood chips to cover most. Both of them then freaked out about splinters. I am planning on only getting playground certified chips, and I can't really afford better (assuming they would like rubber mulch). Other DCM was mad her kids shoes got dirty, in my backyard full of dirt.

b) Non allergy DCM packed her kids toothbrush. I don't normally brush teeth after lunch, I didn't see her toothbrush and didn't do it. My handbook does say I do but I have never done it (I wrote it way before I had ANY kids in). Now I suppose I have made sure I have to brush everyone's teeth after nap which isn't the worst.

c) How do you deal with parents who think their kids shouldn't get hurt at all? Like being shoved or pushed by another child? One of the girls got shoved while lining up for the slide and got a VERY tiny scrape with I treated with alcohol, neosporin, and a band-aid. That's actually overzealous for me because normally if it's not streaming blood I just wipe it off with water. I told them what happened and her mom was like about being pushed. Like it or not I cannot be right next to them every second. It's gonna happen. How do you deal with this gracefully?

I don't want to have to try an fill these spots again but I am thinking maybe of returning their deposits and calling it a day ahah.

[Unregistered]

If it was me, I would term. I would not put the additional stress on myself trying to please these dcms about things that are normal happenings day in day out at daycare. If you do decide to keep them, just be prepared for more of issues with the dcms. I actually have termed a child at the end of their trial period because dcm wanted me to do lots of "special" for her child and couldn't understand kids get messy when they are busy learning all day long.

[stephanie]

I would term too. I think it would be easier for you in the long run to fill the spots rather than try to convince these dcms that their kids are going to get dirty and they're going to get hurt.

I've had a few first time moms that also got very upset when their child got minor bumps and bruises and calmed down eventually, but I feel like those dcms are the exception, not the rule. I'm sure others with more experience can weigh in.

[nannyde]

I would tell them you can't afford the adaptations to safely keep her kid. She would need to supply the wood chips or DHS approved play surface and an outdoor child size sink. If she can't afford it, you understand... you can't either.

[NillaWafers]

Allergy mom just texted me " NillaWafers, DCGs eyes are so swollen. U have to inform me next time. I'm positive she got dirt in her eyes and she told me she fell off the slide and got dirt in her eyes. I'm reading up on it and she may have corneal abrasions"

I replied asking if she is taking her to the DR. tomorrow or the ER. :|

[rosieteddy]

Aggggh this sounds like a nightmare for you.I would term I think.There is no way you can keep them clean to her specifications....I used the fibar wood chips there was never a splinter problem and it did keep the dirt off them.

[Unregistered]

Is term effective IMMEDIATELY!!!!!

[racemom]

My response to the text would have been "I am sorry dck allergies are bothering her tonight, maybe my program is not a good fit for her as we do spend time outside each day". And then state your policy for teeming, refund or not and whether it is an immediate term or not.

[childcaremom]

My response to the text would have been "I am sorry dck allergies are bothering her tonight, maybe my program is not a good fit for her as we do spend time outside each day". And then state your policy for teeming, refund or not and whether it is an immediate term or not.

[MissAnn]

She needs to keep from the Internet for medical info! I am feeling bad for you and I hope you keep us updated.

[Thriftylady]

My daughter and son and I all have pretty severe allergies (not foods but environmental). DD also has allergy related asthma. I will start by telling you that Claritin as an emergency medication doesn't do a whole lot of good. My DD is on it and Singulair, both taken daily one morning one night. If not taken daily they simply don't do much. So mom is shooting herself in the foot with allergies.

I tell parents that their kids will be kids here, they will get bumps, scrapes, bruises whatever and I won't call them for minor things. I will call them if I feel it needs medical attention or is worth calling over.

I am thinking I would term unless of course you want to wait it out and see.

[NillaWafers]

So she texted me again and she was like "Oh I gave her clairitin, it looks like it's getting better, I'm waiting to see if it continues to improve".

I don't think I will 100% term yet. But I do have a plan of action.

A) I will be telling Allergy DCG's mom that we are outside on a daily basis and I cannot prevent allergies, if this is an issue then maybe she should start looking for another provider. I will recommend she give her child clairitin on a daily basis since it does not work on demand (I know this, I have allergies and take Zyrtec most of the time).

B) Due to safety concerns I will be making the play structure off limits until we have the wood chips installed (two weeks). We will be nailing a board on the stairs and removing the swings until then. I do not want liability from dust nor injury.

C) I will explain again that kids get hurt, and I cannot prevent all injuries. If the injury is beyond minor I will let them know. A red eye is not beyond minor. If this is an issue they can start looking for another provider. I will refer them to my handbook which I will remind them they agreed to when they signed up.

[KidGrind]

So she texted me again and she was like "Oh I gave her clairitin, it looks like it's getting better, I'm waiting to see if it continues to improve".

I don't think I will 100% term yet. But I do have a plan of action.

A) I will be telling Allergy DCG's mom that we are outside on a daily basis and I cannot prevent allergies, if this is an issue then maybe she should start looking for another provider. I will recommend she give her child clairitin on a daily basis since it does not work on demand (I know this, I have allergies and take Zyrtec most of the time).

I would have it in writing and then have her sign it. I would NOT recommend she give her child any medications. I would recommend she take her child to a pediatrician for allergy management.


B) Due to safety concerns I will be making the play structure off limits until we have the wood chips installed (two weeks). We will be nailing a board on the stairs and removing the swings until then. I do not want liability from dust nor injury.

What safety concerns? Their complaints about dust and dirt? You can NEVER control dust and dirt. I would never mention nailing anything. You are always going to have a risk of being liable. You take care of children and things can happen. I would not mention safety concerns with these mothers.

C) I will explain again that kids get hurt, and I cannot prevent all injuries. If the injury is beyond minor I will let them know. A red eye is not beyond minor. If this is an issue they can start looking for another provider. I will refer them to my handbook which I will remind them they agreed to when they signed up.

When I notice physical differences in my DCKs I inform their parents. I am not a doctor. What I think is a simple red eye maybe an issue that needs immediate attention. So I give a courtesy text to parents:

Susie’s right eye is red and slightly swollen. She’s rubbing it a lot.

Johnny fell and his knee is scrapped. There was no blood. I cleaned it and put a band aid on it.

Parents usually text back with, “Thanks for letting me know.” or “Do you think Susie needs to be seen at the doctor’s. Should I pick her up?”

I reply, “As a parent, I’ve always lean to the side of caution. If she where my kid I would take her in. You have to make the decision for your child. You know best!”

[NillaWafers]

When I notice physical differences in my DCKs I inform their parents. I am not a doctor. What I think is a simple red eye maybe an issue that needs immediate attention. So I give a courtesy text to parents:

Susie’s right eye is red and slightly swollen. She’s rubbing it a lot.

Johnny fell and his knee is scrapped. There was no blood. I cleaned it and put a band aid on it.

Parents usually text back with, “Thanks for letting me know.” or “Do you think Susie needs to be seen at the doctor’s. Should I pick her up?”

I reply, “As a parent, I’ve always lean to the side of caution. If she where my kid I would take her in. You have to make the decision for your child. You know best!”

Thanks for the advice, I will be taking it. I think I am just worried about there being no substrate under the playground at the moment and having one of these kids get hurt. Then they would call licensing and I would get in trouble. There will be substrate soon, so I just don't want to risk it - so we made the play set inaccessible for now. I will just tell allergy DCM that her kid should see her pediatrician about outside allergies.

[Indianadaycare]

My response to the text would have been "I am sorry dck allergies are bothering her tonight, maybe my program is not a good fit for her as we do spend time outside each day". And then state your policy for teeming, refund or not and whether it is an immediate term or not.