How to Ask DCM about Non-Stop Crying?

[Unregistered]

Hello everyone,

I have a DCG who is just turned 5 months, I have had her for going on 2 months now and she just wont. stop. crying!

I pick her up and rock her and the MOMENT I start to bend over she is already crying. I pick her back up and she is instantly all smiles. I never really believed there was a such thing as a spoiled baby but this little one is making me believe that there is!!! It has gotten to the point that if I'm not holding her, rocking her, or entertaining here somehow (dancing in front of her etc.) she bursts into tears!

Whats more is I'm a bit worried about her. DCM says she is meeting all her milestones but I just can't see how....this little one is literally like a squashed bug! She lies curled up in a little ball...doesn't try to reach out to anyone or toys or anything. She just lies there and CRIES non-stop until I pick her up. She will lay on her side, balled up and stare into space and cry. She will take a bottle and then cry. I'm not joking she literally STARES wide eyed but crying...no tears really...just a constant "wah wah wah" over and over it isn't high pitched or anything but after a half hour of that I just want to run away! It has gotten to the point that one of my other DCKs walks into the door, sees her and then wants to go home saying "No no, not _DCG_!" (she is only here twice a week).

I'm not sure how to ask the DCM about it without sounding bad.

Any suggestions? And no, I can't babywear her (bad back) and nor would I so please don't suggest this.

[Heidi]

I'm done with babies for a while just because of this. I termed a full-time infant for non-stop crying, and I'm just not ready to be back on that bandwagon.

For two days a week, I wouldn't even hesitate to terminate. It's torture for everyone involved!

[Unregistered]

I'm done with babies for a while just because of this. I termed a full-time infant for non-stop crying, and I'm just not ready to be back on that bandwagon.

For two days a week, I wouldn't even hesitate to terminate. It's torture for everyone involved!

But how do I bring it up to DCM without it sounding rude? I want her to know this is an issue...I've been mostly quite about it since I was trying to work around it...before just handing her a term letter. Since I've never mentioned it before, I just don't want it to seem "out of the blue" KNWIM?

[nannyde]

But how do I bring it up to DCM without it sounding rude? I want her to know this is an issue...I've been mostly quite about it since I was trying to work around it...before just handing her a term letter. Since I've never mentioned it before, I just don't want it to seem "out of the blue" KNWIM?

She needs her own adult. When she is being held, walked, rocked, and having one on one attention she is very happy. When she is not being held, walked, rocked with one to one adult attention she is crying. She needs her own adult.

She is two days a week. She has her own adult five days a week and she is very happy. Some babies need their own adult. She is one of them. It's not personal. She is one of millions of babies who need this. It works at home but not in group care. All it takes is getting a second baby that needs her own adult and their needs can't be met.

[Snowmom]

Hello everyone,

I have a DCG who is just turned 5 months, I have had her for going on 2 months now and she just wont. stop. crying!

I pick her up and rock her and the MOMENT I start to bend over she is already crying. I pick her back up and she is instantly all smiles. I never really believed there was a such thing as a spoiled baby but this little one is making me believe that there is!!! It has gotten to the point that if I'm not holding her, rocking her, or entertaining here somehow (dancing in front of her etc.) she bursts into tears!

Whats more is I'm a bit worried about her. DCM says she is meeting all her milestones but I just can't see how....this little one is literally like a squashed bug! She lies curled up in a little ball...doesn't try to reach out to anyone or toys or anything. She just lies there and CRIES non-stop until I pick her up. She will lay on her side, balled up and stare into space and cry. She will take a bottle and then cry. I'm not joking she literally STARES wide eyed but crying...no tears really...just a constant "wah wah wah" over and over it isn't high pitched or anything but after a half hour of that I just want to run away! It has gotten to the point that one of my other DCKs walks into the door, sees her and then wants to go home saying "No no, not _DCG_!" (she is only here twice a week).

I'm not sure how to ask the DCM about it without sounding bad.

Any suggestions? And no, I can't babywear her (bad back) and nor would I so please don't suggest this.

IMO Twice a week is not enough time to:
1. Establish a bond between you and baby.
2. Not enough routine for the baby to be comfortable in the daycare atmosphere.

If you are looking to talk to DCM about the constant crying, I would start there. A lot of part time children have such a hard adjusting to daycare. It's like the "Monday syndrome". On Mondays, nobody wants to be here, but by Friday nobody wants to leave. It's constantly Monday for this baby. Maybe up it to at least 3 days a week or 4 half days if possible?

With the milestones. That's tough.
I would just be honest. Maybe start by bringing up small things like:
"I was working with dcg on tummy time and she was having a hard time relaxing to the point where we needed to stop because she seemed upset that her muscles weren't working the way they needed to for the activity.

[Unregistered]

IMO Twice a week is not enough time to:
1. Establish a bond between you and baby.
2. Not enough routine for the baby to be comfortable in the daycare atmosphere.

If you are looking to talk to DCM about the constant crying, I would start there. A lot of part time children have such a hard adjusting to daycare. It's like the "Monday syndrome". On Mondays, nobody wants to be here, but by Friday nobody wants to leave. It's constantly Monday for this baby. Maybe up it to at least 3 days a week or 4 half days if possible?

With the milestones. That's tough.
I would just be honest. Maybe start by bringing up small things like:
"I was working with dcg on tummy time and she was having a hard time relaxing to the point where we needed to stop because she seemed upset that her muscles weren't working the way they needed to for the activity.

Yes! Monday all the time is exactly what this feels like! I am worried about her milestones and have tried to bring it up before but DCM always just says "Doc. thinks she is fine" so I guess that is that, really :/ I offered to have her in care more often but DCM only needs the care twice a week. She works from home except on those two days when she goes to meetings and meets with clients, she is a wedding organizer (really cool work to have ) and so doesn't want the extra care since she stays at home with DCG during the rest of the week. I think nannyde is right, she needs her own adult and I'm trying to be that adult but I can't dedicate myself to just this ONE child...I have several others I care for and I can't afford to only have this one child twice a week. I guess that basically decides it. I'm going to offer to give her the rest of the month to find more suitable care and let her know that I can no longer meet DCGs needs.

[Heidi]

Yes! Monday all the time is exactly what this feels like! I am worried about her milestones and have tried to bring it up before but DCM always just says "Doc. thinks she is fine" so I guess that is that, really :/ I offered to have her in care more often but DCM only needs the care twice a week. She works from home except on those two days when she goes to meetings and meets with clients, she is a wedding organizer (really cool work to have ) and so doesn't want the extra care since she stays at home with DCG during the rest of the week. I think nannyde is right, she needs her own adult and I'm trying to be that adult but I can't dedicate myself to just this ONE child...I have several others I care for and I can't afford to only have this one child twice a week. I guess that basically decides it. I'm going to offer to give her the rest of the month to find more suitable care and let her know that I can no longer meet DCGs needs.

Please don't say that! That's taking the blame.

I'd go with "LO needs more care than I can offer while still caring for the other children. I've been trying to work through it, but it's just come to the point where I need to balance the needs of everyone. I really think she'd be happier with one-on-one care"...or something like that.

[Ariana]

She is not there enough as another poster has mentioned. I have a little boy who is 2 and he is very similar. Needs constant entertainment and direction. When left alone he lies on the floor and pushes a car back and forth for hours. He is also only with me for 2 days a week which is why I tolerate it. He also doesn't cry! If he cried here like that he would be gone.

I really feel terrible for these kids who have parents that don't care about them enough to help them transition to group care.

[Unregistered]

Please don't say that! That's taking the blame.

I'd go with "LO needs more care than I can offer while still caring for the other children. I've been trying to work through it, but it's just come to the point where I need to balance the needs of everyone. I really think she'd be happier with one-on-one care"...or something like that.

Good point! Thank you for the suggestion.

[Laurel]

Please don't say that! That's taking the blame.

I'd go with "LO needs more care than I can offer while still caring for the other children. I've been trying to work through it, but it's just come to the point where I need to balance the needs of everyone. I really think she'd be happier with one-on-one care"...or something like that.

[daycarediva]

Please don't say that! That's taking the blame.

I'd go with "LO needs more care than I can offer while still caring for the other children. I've been trying to work through it, but it's just come to the point where I need to balance the needs of everyone. I really think she'd be happier with one-on-one care"...or something like that.

I wish I could favorite posts on here. This would be one!

[Indianadaycare]

IMO Twice a week is not enough time to:
1. Establish a bond between you and baby.
2. Not enough routine for the baby to be comfortable in the daycare atmosphere.

If you are looking to talk to DCM about the constant crying, I would start there. A lot of part time children have such a hard adjusting to daycare. It's like the "Monday syndrome". On Mondays, nobody wants to be here, but by Friday nobody wants to leave. It's constantly Monday for this baby. Maybe up it to at least 3 days a week or 4 half days if possible?

Exactly my opinion. This is why I will no longer take part time babies/toddlers unless it is for at least four consecutive days. I've made exceptions to my gut feeling here, and I've regretted it every.time.

I would say something like "After two months I'm sorry to say that ____ has not adjusted well to part time care. In my experience, when a baby comes part time, it does not give them enough time to feel comfortable with me, the surroundings, and the other children. If you are able to bring her at least four consecutive days to allow her to adjust happily, we can continue. If not, then I will need to end our agreement in order to be fair to all the other children who become upset with her continual crying." (or something like that) That way, it puts the ball in her court; she can adjust her work schedule (if that's even possible) or she can opt out. Either way, your stress level goes WAAAAY down! You will be taking care of yourself too and preventing burn out.

Good luck! I know a cryer can be so hard!