Behavior Resulting In Pick Up?

[mamamanda]

I've never called a parent for pick up due to behavior, but I've been debating all morning. Dcg 3 has been defiant for 2 weeks now. She has started refusing to eat anything saying she only wants junk food. She keeps asking for ice cream, donuts, pizza, mac n cheese, candy, etc. Her mom is a vegetarian and very health conscious so I don't know where this is coming from. She sits at the table in a pout throughout almost every meal b/c I won't change the menu. She picks at lunch but won't eat a bite at other meals. Then she's crabby all day. If she's asked to do something she says "I will not..." She tries to hoard toys by gathering them into piles & laying on them. Today I've pulled her off of another child 3 different times b/c she wants what they have. I've had to raise my voice significantly for her to even hear me over her own yelling. Her mom thinks she's having medical issues either thyroid or celiac so I've tried to be patient, but I'm about at wits end. I told her today if she can't obey & be kind I will have to call mommy & send her home. She straightened up for about 20 minutes, but was back to fighting with kids and staring me down while breaking rules. Mom I good to work with me, but I'm afraid if I call for pickup they will pull her which doesn't sound too bad at the moment ::but I rather find a real solution.

[Scribbles]

I've never called a parent for pick up due to behavior, but I've been debating all morning. Dcg 3 has been defiant for 2 weeks now. She has started refusing to eat anything saying she only wants junk food. She keeps asking for ice cream, donuts, pizza, mac n cheese, candy, etc. Her mom is a vegetarian and very health conscious so I don't know where this is coming from. She sits at the table in a pout throughout almost every meal b/c I won't change the menu. She picks at lunch but won't eat a bite at other meals. Then she's crabby all day. If she's asked to do something she says "I will not..." She tries to hoard toys by gathering them into piles & laying on them. Today I've pulled her off of another child 3 different times b/c she wants what they have. I've had to raise my voice significantly for her to even hear me over her own yelling. Her mom thinks she's having medical issues either thyroid or celiac so I've tried to be patient, but I'm about at wits end. I told her today if she can't obey & be kind I will have to call mommy & send her home. She straightened up for about 20 minutes, but was back to fighting with kids and staring me down while breaking rules. Mom I good to work with me, but I'm afraid if I call for pickup they will pull her which doesn't sound too bad at the moment ::but I rather find a real solution.

Before calling a parent to pick up, I'd try separating her from everyone until she can be nice and her attitude changes. If she gets snippy or has a bad attitude, just act like it's no big deal but send her to a quiet spot away from the others. I would tell her that she is welcome to join everyone when she changes her attitude. I would not hesitate to send her back to that spot away from everyone every single time she gets rude or mean to others. Including you. I would also make sure to be having tons of fun with the others so she can see that it's fun when you are behaving and being nice to your friends.

[daycarediva]

Is it possible Mom is misleading you about what they eat at home? The health conscious parents I have had in care have some of the most well rounded 'eaters' I have ever seen. A few true dislikes, but they don't know the NAMES of the junk foods, let alone to demand them. Is mom giving in just to get her to eat?

I wouldn't call for pick up. Its telling the child you have no real authority, along the lines of 'wait until your father gets home'. I would outline expectations, give her ONE warning, and then remove her from the activity. Separate for the duration of the (SUPER FUN) activity. Then allow her to rejoin the next activity, again, outline behavior expectations, give ONE warning, then move her. She should learn fast you mean what you say.

[laundrymom]

she is choosing to be an unkind friend. She is choosing not to control her actions. So she would have limited choices here. She would be my shadow until she didn't need to be. Be it an hour or a week, she wouldn't have the option of being mean or going home. And if she made me use the big voice..... Oh man. It would be super unfun for her. I don't reward undesirable behavior. Pouting at the table doesn't bother me. She would be given ample time to eat and then excused. If she was grumpy later or hungry I would remind her that she chose not to eat. Barring a developmental issue, I say she's toying with you. And I've never heard of celiac or thyroid issues making a child to have bad behavior.
But if I'm wrong, please someone let me know.

[Second Home]

And I've never heard of celiac or thyroid issues making a child to have bad behavior.
But if I'm wrong, please someone let me know.

From the mayo clinic site .
If you have an overactive thyroid (hyperthyroidism), you may experience:

Unusual nervousness
Restlessness
Anxiety
Irritability

On the opposite end of the spectrum, if you have an underactive thyroid (hypothyroidism), you may experience:

Mild to severe fatigue
Depression

Still, it's unlikely that emotional symptoms such as anxiety or depression would be the only evidence of thyroid disease. Thyroid disease is usually associated with signs and symptoms such as:

Weight gain or loss
Sensitivity to hot or cold
Bowel movement changes
Menstrual irregularities

[childcaremom]

she is choosing to be an unkind friend. She is choosing not to control her actions. So she would have limited choices here. She would be my shadow until she didn't need to be. Be it an hour or a week, she wouldn't have the option of being mean or going home. And if she made me use the big voice..... Oh man. It would be super unfun for her. I don't reward undesirable behavior. Pouting at the table doesn't bother me. She would be given ample time to eat and then excused. If she was grumpy later or hungry I would remind her that she chose not to eat. Barring a developmental issue, I say she's toying with you. And I've never heard of celiac or thyroid issues making a child to have bad behavior.
But if I'm wrong, please someone let me know.

yes to all of this.

Is mom telling you the medical stuff is the reason for the behaviour? I've never heard of it, either. I've got celiac's but symptoms are so wide and varied btwn people... who knows? It could be that she is hungry and therefore that is causing her to be grumpy but it would not give her an excuse (at my house) for her behaviour. I would (and do) the above and would not be sending home for it.

If I could not curb the behaviour, I would be chatting with parents, and if it still continued and she did not respond to my disciplining methods, I would term.

[mamamanda]

I think mom is serious about the healthy eating, but she does visit her dad each week & an evening babysitter on occasion. The babysitter picked her up here one evening & told her they were going for ice cream, so I think it's not coming from mom, but she is getting it enough to want it. Also, she was an excellent eater until a few weeks ago. She claims vegetables are her favorite foods, but she's just started refusing to eat the last few weeks. She has some physical symptoms in addition to the change in behavior so I'm thinking there could be something going on there. Mom made a Dr appt so we'll see. She behaved very well for me until just recently.