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I know this has been discussed before, but its suddenly taken over my whole group. One dcg in particular constantly asks for compliments from both myself and other dcks. She will ask, "Do I look pretty?" "What do you think of my curls?" "Are you impressed with me?" "Did I color perfect?" "Did I write my name as well as dcb?" "Am I a nice friend?" "Did I do a good job?" On and on it goes. Now she's got all of the other kids asking the same type of questions. Some of them are nice to her and just tell her what she wants to hear. Then they usually ask her something similar about themselves. Others are just flat out honest and say "No, you didn't do a good job on your picture," or "No I don't like your curls." Then she gets upset and all but cries and comes tattling to me that they're saying mean things to her when all they did was answer a question that should never have been asked in the first place. I keep trying to explain that it doesn't matter if so and so thinks you're a good friend. You know whether you are or not so make good choices and quit asking others. It doesn't matter if you write your name as well as your friend does. Did you do your personal best? That's all I'm concerned about. We discuss it often, but still it continues. Today dcb accomplished something new and I told him I was so excited for him. Dcg instantly throws herself into the mix and says, "Are you so impressed with us?" I tried to use a calm voice, but said, "What is it that you think I should be impressed with for?" I genuinely wanted to know b/c honestly she'd behaved horribly for the hour before she asked and I wanted to see the thought process there. She said, "Because we're learning new things." I replied that dcb was the one who accomplished something new and I was excited for dcb. I would also be excited for her when she could do this new task as well, but this time it had nothing to do with her and she should focus on doing her task well." She looked so hurt.
How would you word it when you have to reply with something she doesn't want to hear. Even if she is doing something well, I don't want to praise her for it b/c its all I'll hear about for days. I told her she was doing a good job cutting today and she kept asking me to stop & look at her wonderful job every 2 minutes after that.
Would you even respond at all? If so, how? I've told her that asking these questions is asking for a compliment which is rude. What more can I say so that 3-5 year olds will understand?
How would you word it when you have to reply with something she doesn't want to hear. Even if she is doing something well, I don't want to praise her for it b/c its all I'll hear about for days. I told her she was doing a good job cutting today and she kept asking me to stop & look at her wonderful job every 2 minutes after that.
Would you even respond at all? If so, how? I've told her that asking these questions is asking for a compliment which is rude. What more can I say so that 3-5 year olds will understand?
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