My Hitter

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  • midaycare
    Daycare.com Member
    • Jan 2014
    • 5658

    My Hitter

    This is a common issue, I know. Sweet dcb, newly 2. Listens fairly well, been here since mid-June. Let go from his last daycare from hitting.

    He prefers to play alone most of the time, but I don't see any warning flags. Not that it is unusual at this age, but the other kids want more socialization than he does.

    So dcb hits. A lot. Not hard, thank goodness. He's a vegetarian so not much strength behind the hits (ha ha). But he hits when someone has something he wants or is wanting to share toys with him.

    I have made him my shadow, removed him from the other kids and placed him with soft, baby type toys until he can "play nice". We read books about not hitting. We sing songs about it. It just isn't working. I like dcb, so I'm not considering terming. I can get to him before he hits - most of the time.

    Any advice?
  • spedmommy4
    Daycare.com Member
    • Mar 2015
    • 935

    #2
    Sounds like he needs an alternative to hitting. If most of the time he is hitting because another child has something he wants, he is choosing that strategy because it gets results.

    Teach him what you want him to do instead. For example, if you see him getting ready to hit someone, model, "my turn" or "car please." It's okay if the other child says no. You can then model solutions like, "oh look, there is another car."

    Practice it every time dcb hits or goes to hit. You should see the behavior get better with time.

    Comment

    • midaycare
      Daycare.com Member
      • Jan 2014
      • 5658

      #3
      Originally posted by spedmommy4
      Sounds like he needs an alternative to hitting. If most of the time he is hitting because another child has something he wants, he is choosing that strategy because it gets results.

      Teach him what you want him to do instead. For example, if you see him getting ready to hit someone, model, "my turn" or "car please." It's okay if the other child says no. You can then model solutions like, "oh look, there is another car."

      Practice it every time dcb hits or goes to hit. You should see the behavior get better with time.
      I need to stop taking referrals from current families, I think. I get the sweetest kids when I use my own judgment during the interview process. When I put referrals at the front of my list, I get this. Sigh ... But thanks for answering!

      Comment

      • spedmommy4
        Daycare.com Member
        • Mar 2015
        • 935

        #4
        Originally posted by midaycare
        I need to stop taking referrals from current families, I think. I get the sweetest kids when I use my own judgment during the interview process. When I put referrals at the front of my list, I get this. Sigh ... But thanks for answering!
        Lol. It's a mixed bag for me. I have enrolled some challenging kids and some of the sweetest kids from both.

        Comment

        • MrsD
          Daycare.com Member
          • Aug 2014
          • 12

          #5
          I know this is a few weeks old but I'm in a very similar situation. My DCB is nearly 2 but hits, pushes, shoves, tackles and holds down the others. Mainly my won son who is 4 months younger. He's been in my care for over a year.

          He will generally do it out of the blue. Rately fighting over space or a toy. Though sharing has also been an issue but he whines about that. DCB just walks or more often runs up and next thing I know someone's holding their head screaming or I'm picking dcb up off of them.

          He hits with hands and toys. Twice just now within 10 seconds he shoved my son and pushed a dcg. This has been going on for months and I don't know how to make it stop.

          I learned that some of his extended family plays rough with him and I'm about at 5he point of telling mom that she needs to have them care for him. I can not let him out of my sight but doesn't matter cause he'll do it if I'm standing next to him. He's probably hit pushed or shoved 20 - 30 times today. Just did it again.

          Last week he pushed my son down outside and he hit his face on the edge of our sidewalk. Scared me but luckily my guy was alright.

          I think I'll get him down for a nap and if it continues after his mom will have to come get him. So frustrated.

          And again.... Each time I make him sit and now he looks at me and automatically sits when he does it.

          Comment

          • midaycare
            Daycare.com Member
            • Jan 2014
            • 5658

            #6
            Originally posted by MrsD
            I know this is a few weeks old but I'm in a very similar situation. My DCB is nearly 2 but hits, pushes, shoves, tackles and holds down the others. Mainly my won son who is 4 months younger. He's been in my care for over a year.

            He will generally do it out of the blue. Rately fighting over space or a toy. Though sharing has also been an issue but he whines about that. DCB just walks or more often runs up and next thing I know someone's holding their head screaming or I'm picking dcb up off of them.

            He hits with hands and toys. Twice just now within 10 seconds he shoved my son and pushed a dcg. This has been going on for months and I don't know how to make it stop.

            I learned that some of his extended family plays rough with him and I'm about at 5he point of telling mom that she needs to have them care for him. I can not let him out of my sight but doesn't matter cause he'll do it if I'm standing next to him. He's probably hit pushed or shoved 20 - 30 times today. Just did it again.

            Last week he pushed my son down outside and he hit his face on the edge of our sidewalk. Scared me but luckily my guy was alright.

            I think I'll get him down for a nap and if it continues after his mom will have to come get him. So frustrated.

            And again.... Each time I make him sit and now he looks at me and automatically sits when he does it.
            Yeah, my dcb started getting better, now all of a sudden he is worse! Dcb is very lovable, but just doesn't play well with other kids. His first reaction is always to hit, shove, kick, or throw something. I'm out of tricks but I see some real potential in this guy, so I don't want to term. And I've termed for way less, and even for another hitter.

            Comment

            • Play Care
              Daycare.com Member
              • Dec 2012
              • 6642

              #7
              Posting because my once adorable "baby" DCB has turned into a 16 month old terror

              Hitting, pinching, and a few nips with teeth (okay okay I'll call it biting:: )
              I think it's worse with him because his two older brothers had it drummed into them that they had to be gentle with baby, etc and they have been very good with him. But almost too good - because when the hitting started and I would intervene I'd get a "he's okay! He's not hurting me!" To which they got a "it's not okay, we don't want him thinking he can hit" but still...

              Needless to say he's getting bigger and it's starting to hurt

              I've brought back "baby jail" and have been putting him in it when I can't be right with him. He hates it and screams the entire time. But I do need to make lunch or use the bathroom
              I've told the older kids that if he starts being rough to say "no!" And move away from him in the hopes he would associate hitting = no playmates. But that's a long shot and I know it
              I've had older toddlers and preschoolers for so long I've forgotten this stage

              Comment

              • midaycare
                Daycare.com Member
                • Jan 2014
                • 5658

                #8
                Originally posted by Play Care
                Posting because my once adorable "baby" DCB has turned into a 16 month old terror

                Hitting, pinching, and a few nips with teeth (okay okay I'll call it biting:: )
                I think it's worse with him because his two older brothers had it drummed into them that they had to be gentle with baby, etc and they have been very good with him. But almost too good - because when the hitting started and I would intervene I'd get a "he's okay! He's not hurting me!" To which they got a "it's not okay, we don't want him thinking he can hit" but still...

                Needless to say he's getting bigger and it's starting to hurt

                I've brought back "baby jail" and have been putting him in it when I can't be right with him. He hates it and screams the entire time. But I do need to make lunch or use the bathroom
                I've told the older kids that if he starts being rough to say "no!" And move away from him in the hopes he would associate hitting = no playmates. But that's a long shot and I know it
                I've had older toddlers and preschoolers for so long I've forgotten this stage
                My dcb is 27 months. No excuses for him, really! 16 mo I could work with a lot easier!

                Comment

                • Play Care
                  Daycare.com Member
                  • Dec 2012
                  • 6642

                  #9
                  Originally posted by midaycare
                  My dcb is 27 months. No excuses for him, really! 16 mo I could work with a lot easier!
                  Oh yeah, that is a bit old. I am hoping that by then we will be way beyond that. Fingers crossed

                  Comment

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