Deep Sh**

[Unregistered]

I don't think a parent would put their kid through deprivation of not being able to have what their peers can have, the exhaustion of reading every label or the expense of one of these dietary restrictions on their budget just to be "trendy". If so, then that is just cruel on the parents' part. As a diagnosed celiac, it really bothers me when people assume diet "trends" in this nature.

*ETA: I am sorry. That was not personal toward the person that made the comment. More to the parents that would actually do that (who aren't reading this anyway, but yeah). Sorry if that seemed personal.

Also, I am glad that the child from the OP is OK!

[MarinaVanessa]

I don't think a parent would put their kid through deprivation of not being able to have what their peers can have, the exhaustion of reading every label or the expense of one of these dietary restrictions on their budget just to be "trendy". If so, then that is just cruel on the parents' part. As a diagnosed celiac, it really bothers me when people assume diet "trends" in this nature.

We're not assuming here though. We've had it happen to us, may of us and many times. I have had different parents tell me that their children were allergic to milk, gluten, peanuts and meat. Usually it's parents that prefer a certain type of diet and want me to continue it in my daycare ... which I don't do and clearly say this in my polices. For these four families they all claimed that their child was allergic so when I asked them for a DR's note and a form filled out by the child's Dr. they either don't ever furnish one or then they say that there isn't actually an official diagnosis but they don't want me giving these to their child.

I've also recently had a parent tell me that their child was allergic to vaccines in order to prevent having to supply me with vaccination records but when I tried to hand her the form that needed to be filled out by her child's Dr. for vaccination exemption she explained that she just didn't believe in vaccinating her child ... okay that's fine, but I still need that form to be filled out by the Dr. It's a part of my licensing requirements.

There's isn't an assumption, it really does happen.

[Thriftylady]

I don't think a parent would put their kid through deprivation of not being able to have what their peers can have, the exhaustion of reading every label or the expense of one of these dietary restrictions on their budget just to be "trendy". If so, then that is just cruel on the parents' part. As a diagnosed celiac, it really bothers me when people assume diet "trends" in this nature.

Yes, this does happen. The DCM I just termed told me a few months ago that she didn't want DCG to have goldfish crackers (I serve them for snack from time to time), when I asked her why she said "I just don't feel she is ready for them". The next sentence was "Oh and she drinks kool aid now". I told her I didn't serve it and she got mad and said "well what if it is the sugar free kind?". I told her no because it isn't a need for her diet and she asked "can you do it just for her?". Nope. A LOT of parents just want special. But ask them to pay for it or prove they need it and suddenly the don't need it anymore.

ETA: many of these parents won't read every label and most of them won't pay for the diet restriction foods, but they want us to do it. IF we do it, then we start hearing that the kids had a happy meal from McDonalds last night, and pizza hut the night before that at home. They want us to feed "special" so they feel better about not feeding well at home.

[Unregistered]

We're not assuming here though. We've had it happen to us, may of us and many times. I have had different parents tell me that their children were allergic to milk, gluten, peanuts and meat. Usually it's parents that prefer a certain type of diet and want me to continue it in my daycare ... which I don't do and clearly say this in my polices. For these four families they all claimed that their child was allergic so when I asked them for a DR's note and a form filled out by the child's Dr. they either don't ever furnish one or then they say that there isn't actually an official diagnosis but they don't want me giving these to their child.

I've also recently had a parent tell me that their child was allergic to vaccines in order to prevent having to supply me with vaccination records but when I tried to hand her the form that needed to be filled out by her child's Dr. for vaccination exemption she explained that she just didn't believe in vaccinating her child ... okay that's fine, but I still need that form to be filled out by the Dr. It's a part of my licensing requirements.

There's isn't an assumption, it really does happen.

Thank you for clarifying. I haven't encountered parents doing this (yet) but I will ask for Dr. varification if I ever do (which I am not sure I would have done, had this conversation not happened) so my future self thanks you =)

Again, I apologize if any of that was misdirected. I think it was just me jumping the gun with my unrelated frustration of those that do choose to be "trendy" for whatever reason- whether them or their children- and not realizing that it ("it" being unverified allergies/trend/however to word it) was a common thing in the daycare community.

[Thriftylady]

Thank you for clarifying. I haven't encountered parents doing this (yet) but I will ask for Dr. varification if I ever do (which I am not sure I would have done, had this conversation not happened) so my future self thanks you =)

Again, I apologize if any of that was misdirected. I think it was just me jumping the gun with my unrelated frustration of those that do choose to be "trendy" for whatever reason- whether them or their children- and not realizing that it ("it" being unverified allergies/trend/however to word it) was a common thing in the daycare community.

OH and I want to add I just had an appt. with a new doctor this week. I was worried about having celiac, because I read online that many of the symptoms are the same as fibromyalgia and I have been diagnosed with that. I hated that idea, I love my carbs to much . They told me that I don't have it since I don't have vomiting and severe cramps. I was so happy.

[Unregistered]

OH and I want to add I just had an appt. with a new doctor this week. I was worried about having celiac, because I read online that many of the symptoms are the same as fibromyalgia and I have been diagnosed with that. I hated that idea, I love my carbs to much . They told me that I don't have it since I don't have vomiting and severe cramps. I was so happy.

My sister has Fibro. You have my sympathies there, I know it's not easy! But on the flip side, will you have some General Tso for me? ;-)

[Unregistered]

Oh it happens .. Like the one child who was 'allergic to peanuts' all year and then brought in a standard Von's cake off the shelf for the birthday celebration.. @@ after I read every label for 10 months and paid more for every snack item etc

[Unregistered]

Op

The dcg is okay I called her mom and she said she sometimes doesn't have a reaction to things with peanut butter in it. In my state we are required for a parent to submit an emergency action plan for children with allergies or Asthma when they enroll. She never provided me one. He medical papers that her pediatrician signed said she has no allergies. But it was done back in 2014. I don't know if children can suddenly develop allergies but I will take her word for it. I did have an issue with mom telling me that her younger son Asthma symptom is a runny nose; I have never heard of this so on there first day when she brought him in with a runny nose and a cough I let him stay in care because she said it was his asthma acting up. Big mistake! We all got what ever they were caring. My regular assistant is out sick no. That is why my sister had to fill in. She knew dcg's mom said that she had an allergy to peanuts but she didn't know that the bars I bought had peanut butter. We don't give the kids mid day snacks but dcg and her brother are always hungry and her parents won't bring snacks so we usually get them something when we go shopping.
The only reason that I had the bars inside my house is because I accidentally got the wrong ones from the store. I realized it immediately but thought it was OK because they are not meant for the daycare kids consumption and my daycare is in the basement. Also the mom brought her sibling a pb&j sandwich for lunch. Dcg hands were all over it trying to force feed he younger sibling (she is 5 and he is 2). Mom said it was fine and she had no reaction even when she took a chip that was on the side and eat it. I will call my rep tomorrow. Thanks ladies for all of your help!

[MarinaVanessa]

Thank you for clarifying. I haven't encountered parents doing this (yet) but I will ask for Dr. varification if I ever do (which I am not sure I would have done, had this conversation not happened) so my future self thanks you =)

Again, I apologize if any of that was misdirected. I think it was just me jumping the gun with my unrelated frustration of those that do choose to be "trendy" for whatever reason- whether them or their children- and not realizing that it ("it" being unverified allergies/trend/however to word it) was a common thing in the daycare community.

No worries at all. I hope you don't have this experience, parents aren't necessarily wrong for wanting this for their children ... it's just most often when these are asked of us we don't provide this in our own programs. Many of us don't mind making accommodations for real allergies but when we start doing this for every family it becomes more difficult for us. Parents can always keep looking for another child care programs that are willing to make these accommodations and I for one have no hard feelings, I just don't want someone telling me to change how I choose to run my business KWIM?

Just wait until you've been doing daycare for like 10+ years and you'll have funny stories of your own. Prepare for the "dope and drop". That's when the child gets dropped off in the morning and around noonish they suddenly get a fever. Typically this means that they got a fever and a parent gave them medicine to still be able to drop their kid off at daycare which wears off around mid-day.

[Thriftylady]

The dcg is okay I called her mom and she said she sometimes doesn't have a reaction to things with peanut butter in it. In my state we are required for a parent to submit an emergency action plan for children with allergies or Asthma when they enroll. She never provided me one. He medical papers that her pediatrician signed said she has no allergies. But it was done back in 2014. I don't know if children can suddenly develop allergies but I will take her word for it. I did have an issue with mom telling me that her younger son Asthma symptom is a runny nose; I have never heard of this so on there first day when she brought him in with a runny nose and a cough I let him stay in care because she said it was his asthma acting up. Big mistake! We all got what ever they were caring. My regular assistant is out sick no. That is why my sister had to fill in. She knew dcg's mom said that she had an allergy to peanuts but she didn't know that the bars I bought had peanut butter. We don't give the kids mid day snacks but dcg and her brother are always hungry and her parents won't bring snacks so we usually get them something when we go shopping.
The only reason that I had the bars inside my house is because I accidentally got the wrong ones from the store. I realized it immediately but thought it was OK because they are not meant for the daycare kids consumption and my daycare is in the basement. Also the mom brought her sibling a pb&j sandwich for lunch. Dcg hands were all over it trying to force feed he younger sibling (she is 5 and he is 2). Mom said it was fine and she had no reaction even when she took a chip that was on the side and eat it. I will call my rep tomorrow. Thanks ladies for all of your help!

HMM I am guessing then there was no allergy. If you have paperwork showing no allergies then you are protected IMO. Yes, allergies can develop suddenly. My ex had a penicillin allergy after having had it for years, however if a parent claims an allergy you need documentation. IF the child had suddenly developed and allergy, it wouldn't be a once in awhile reaction, it would be every time likely getting worse with each exposure. IF this family comes back, require the documentation from the doctor BEFORE care continues. The smoking gun to me is one child being given peanut butter. A parent with a child who is severely allergic wouldn't chance that in most cases, it would be a peanut free home. The amount of time for pick up also makes it suspect.

With all that, make sure your assistant does not serve anything without your approval or that is not on the "safe list" for your daycare. In fact if I had an assistant, I would be planning the meals and snacks it would only be their job to serve them. Make a written plan of action that includes retraining the assistant or changing how meals and snacks are planned (eg... written menus).

If this DCM can't provide written proof of allergy, I would term.

[forthekids]

In addition to the typical responses of being sorry, We would require a note from the doctor stating the child was ok to return. This would confirm the parent took the child to the doctor and that the child does indeed have an allergy. Parents today make a lot of conclusions about their children's health based on researching the internet without verification from a physician. Also, children in our care that have special dietary requirements must bring their own food and snacks.

[Play Care]

The dcg is okay I called her mom and she said she sometimes doesn't have a reaction to things with peanut butter in it. In my state we are required for a parent to submit an emergency action plan for children with allergies or Asthma when they enroll. She never provided me one. He medical papers that her pediatrician signed said she has no allergies. But it was done back in 2014. I don't know if children can suddenly develop allergies but I will take her word for it. I did have an issue with mom telling me that her younger son Asthma symptom is a runny nose; I have never heard of this so on there first day when she brought him in with a runny nose and a cough I let him stay in care because she said it was his asthma acting up. Big mistake! We all got what ever they were caring. My regular assistant is out sick no. That is why my sister had to fill in. She knew dcg's mom said that she had an allergy to peanuts but she didn't know that the bars I bought had peanut butter. We don't give the kids mid day snacks but dcg and her brother are always hungry and her parents won't bring snacks so we usually get them something when we go shopping.
The only reason that I had the bars inside my house is because I accidentally got the wrong ones from the store. I realized it immediately but thought it was OK because they are not meant for the daycare kids consumption and my daycare is in the basement. Also the mom brought her sibling a pb&j sandwich for lunch. Dcg hands were all over it trying to force feed he younger sibling (she is 5 and he is 2). Mom said it was fine and she had no reaction even when she took a chip that was on the side and eat it. I will call my rep tomorrow. Thanks ladies for all of your help!

What?!
I would TERM.
This mom has LIED to you. She YELLED at you over her LIE.
In addition, she's claiming allergy but you don't have any state required paperwork on it?!
The kids sound like handfuls (no child should be touching another child's food, even if they are siblings and certainly shouldn't be putting food in another child's mouth - choking hazard) and I can imagine the apples didn't fall far from the tree.

[nannyde]

None of this makes sense. You need to REQUIRE doctor's notes for both kids before they return.

I can't imagine a parent of a peanut Allergy kid giving peanut butter to the sibling. Why even have that in your home?

I think she is lying about both diagnoses.

[Stephnrich]

I don't think a parent would put their kid through deprivation of not being able to have what their peers can have, the exhaustion of reading every label or the expense of one of these dietary restrictions on their budget just to be "trendy". If so, then that is just cruel on the parents' part. As a diagnosed celiac, it really bothers me when people assume diet "trends" in this nature.

Parents definitely do that, though. I have two kids who do not have a dairy allergy, but their parents think cow's milk is not healthy and want me to serve almond milk. They got a waiver from their doctor so I will.

[Blackcat31]

Parents definitely do that, though. I have two kids who do not have a dairy allergy, but their parents think cow's milk is not healthy and want me to serve almond milk. They got a waiver from their doctor so I will.

Are you on a food program?

IIRC, almond milk can not be substituted for cow's milk.
You can substitute with soy milk without a Dr's statement.

If you are on a food program, the Dr needs to list a substitute that meets the same dietary equivalent to cow's milk and like I said I don't "think" almond milk is acceptable.