What do I Say?

[Unregistered]

So I am a regular member here for years but wanted to log out for this one.

I have an ad up because for the 2nd year in a row I am losing a few kids to school.

Anyways, I met with a family 2 days ago. Their 4yo will be attending school in 2 weeks so they are looking for daycare just for those 2 weeks. The child was wild when he was here. He walked around from room to room taking toys out, playing with them for a couple minutes and going on to the the next one - essentially like my two 20 month old toddlers. He was asked numerous times to pick up his toys, and to not climb on the stairs for the changing table. He did not listen AT ALL! I asked and they said he has never been in daycare /school before. I could tell he has not had any structure, he's been with a family member since birth.

Anyways, I can usually train my littles within a couple weeks as I have structured days with a general routine we follow and consistent rules, etc. So even kids that don't listen to parents end up doing well here. However, I only have the 2 weeks left with 4 of mine that I won't be watching after this year and have been here years. Plus in 2 weeks I will be getting a baby.

I was thinking after the meeting with the family I don't want to spend these last two weeks of summer with my kids, stressed out and having to give all my attention to little new guy, then he's just gone. Doesn't seem worth it to me to put that time/energy/stress into him when I want to be savoring my time with the ones that I'll miss. I can just see it now, all day every minute asking him to do something (not climb, pick up toys,etc). With my heart disease I get tired enough each day with the easy days I have right now. Don't want two weeks of that extra stress.

So anyways, I sent an email this afternoon, generic in nature, like some of you ladies suggest and it just stated that after careful consideration I can not watch their child. Got an email back saying they are owed an explanation, that I didn't even give a chance to watch him.

How would you respond? I have never terminated before and I usually at least give a chance for new people. Do I tell her I don't want to put that effort in for only 2 weeks while missing out on my other kiddos getting my full attention their last two weeks? That sounds selfish. Any ideas? TIA! Putting my thoughts/feelings into words is not one of my strong suits and I think I sometimes sound meaner then I intend to be. Any help appreciated.

[nannyde]

Why do you owe them an explanation?

I wouldn't reply.

[Thriftylady]

I agree if you have exchanged no money or contract, then you owe them nothing. Or if you really feel you need to say something, keep it generic like "the spot has been filled".

[childcaremom]

Why do you owe them an explanation?

I wouldn't reply.

[NeedaVaca]

I agree with the PP's that there is no need to reply but if you really want to you could just say you are only accepting long term clients at this time.

[Pepperth]

I agree with the PP's that there is no need to reply but if you really want to you could just say you are only accepting long term clients at this time.

[lblanke]

No one can make you reply to an e-mail. You do not owe them an explanation. They will want to negotiate with you.

[daycarediva]

I agree with the PP's that there is no need to reply but if you really want to you could just say you are only accepting long term clients at this time.

IF you reply, you could say that it was a pleasure meeting them, but you aren't willing to take on a temporary client at this time. Give ideas to try, best of luck in your search for child care.

No one can make you reply to an e-mail. You do not owe them an explanation. They will want to negotiate with you.

This would be my stance. She is already rude and demanding to imply that you had to accept them and owe her anything at all. I wouldn't give her the time of day.

[Unregistered]

OP here - ok, guess I messed up. When we were talking the other day, I had at the time kind of agreed to take child by us discussing when they would bring the paperwork and payment.
It was after the meeting that I had thought about it and changed my mind.

I know I don't owe her an explanation. I feel bad tho that I changed my mind especially when they need care next week. I know we're allowed to do that too.

I'm thinking of just replying once more and telling her it is not in the best interest of my group or business at this time. That part of the reason of meeting is to see if I will be a good match for the family AND if the family is a good match for me. Then just leave it at that.

Thanks for your replies.

[Thriftylady]

I am not sure I would say it isn't in your best interest. Perhaps say it isn't in the child's best interest. And if you are not feeling it is right, it isn't!

[MarinaVanessa]

Typically I don't cater to demands either but I might be inclined to respond with something like


Dear DCM,

I'd me happy to explain how I came to this decision. Upon further thought about how you only needed temporary care for your child I have decided to continue to look for a more long-term client instead.

The End.

If I really wanted to be honest I might say ..

Dear DCM,

After meeting with you and your child and observing your child at play it became apparent to me that your child might benefit from a much less structured program than what I provide. I noticed on a few occasions when your child was redirected that he had a hard time following directions or understanding boundaries.

This is typical for children his age especially when they are not used to structured environments and typically take a few weeks to acclimate and learn new rules with some effort on my part. With your family I find that because this is a very short-term child care arrangement that the effort that I will be contributing to teaching your child our rules will have no long-term benefit to me like a long-term client does. To be frank, I will put in a lot of work into a child that won't get a chance to get used to our rules and I would rather apply those efforts for a child that will be here long enough for me to be able to enjoy my efforts.

I thank you for coming and showing interest in my program and wish you luck on finding child care.

Sincerely,
Not Interested

PS I wanted to add that the second one is just a snarky and totally kidding. More like what I wish I could say

[Leigh]

Typically I don't cater to demands either but I might be inclined to respond with something like


Dear DCM,

I'd me happy to explain how I came to this decision. Upon further thought about how you only needed temporary care for your child I have decided to continue to look for a more long-term client instead.

The End.

If I really wanted to be honest I might say ..

Dear DCM,

After meeting with you and your child and observing your child at play it became apparent to me that your child might benefit from a much less structured program than what I provide. I noticed on a few occasions when your child was redirected that he had a hard time following directions or understanding boundaries.

This is typical for children his age especially when they are not used to structured environments and typically take a few weeks to acclimate and learn new rules with some effort on my part. With your family I find that because this is a very short-term child care arrangement that the effort that I will be contributing to teaching your child our rules will have no long-term benefit to me like a long-term client does. To be frank, I will put in a lot of work into a child that won't get a chance to get used to our rules and I would rather apply those efforts for a child that will be here long enough for me to be able to enjoy my efforts.

I thank you for coming and showing interest in my program and wish you luck on finding child care.

Sincerely,
Not Interested

PS I wanted to add that the second one is just a snarky and totally kidding. More like what I wish I could say

I see nothing wrong with the second one. If Mom wants the truth, give her the truth. Your child is a brat, and I don't want him here. I wouldn't hesitate to send the second one.

[Indianadaycare]

OP here - ok, guess I messed up. When we were talking the other day, I had at the time kind of agreed to take child by us discussing when they would bring the paperwork and payment.
It was after the meeting that I had thought about it and changed my mind.

I know I don't owe her an explanation. I feel bad tho that I changed my mind especially when they need care next week. I know we're allowed to do that too.

I'm thinking of just replying once more and telling her it is not in the best interest of my group or business at this time. That part of the reason of meeting is to see if I will be a good match for the family AND if the family is a good match for me. Then just leave it at that.

Thanks for your replies.

In an email: "Dear _____, I realize that I gave an impression that I would be able to care for _____ for two weeks. However, when I thought about it more carefully, I realized this will not be possible. I need to keep this spot open for a long term placement. I'm sorry for the inconvenience, and best of luck in finding the right child care. Sincerely, __________"

Professional, confident, but polite at the same time.

No fun, I know! Good luck. And I think you're making a good decision.

[daycarediva]

Typically I don't cater to demands either but I might be inclined to respond with something like


Dear DCM,

I'd me happy to explain how I came to this decision. Upon further thought about how you only needed temporary care for your child I have decided to continue to look for a more long-term client instead.

The End.

If I really wanted to be honest I might say ..

Dear DCM,

After meeting with you and your child and observing your child at play it became apparent to me that your child might benefit from a much less structured program than what I provide. I noticed on a few occasions when your child was redirected that he had a hard time following directions or understanding boundaries.

This is typical for children his age especially when they are not used to structured environments and typically take a few weeks to acclimate and learn new rules with some effort on my part. With your family I find that because this is a very short-term child care arrangement that the effort that I will be contributing to teaching your child our rules will have no long-term benefit to me like a long-term client does. To be frank, I will put in a lot of work into a child that won't get a chance to get used to our rules and I would rather apply those efforts for a child that will be here long enough for me to be able to enjoy my efforts.

I thank you for coming and showing interest in my program and wish you luck on finding child care.

Sincerely,
Not Interested

PS I wanted to add that the second one is just a snarky and totally kidding. More like what I wish I could say

::

I would just reiterate that you aren't willing to taking a short term client at this time.

[Unregistered]

Thanks ladies for the help.

MarinaVanessa - if the second one is snarky, then I can see if people think I'm a witch. I really wanted to say something like that but that's why I came here first, to stop myself. ;-) I don't want to sound, or be, mean.

Leigh - I agree with you, I would be more tempted to put the second response just cuz I'm more to the point and open and truthful. I don't sugarcoat things either.

You are all right tho, I don't have to explain myself. I just have a tendency to do it, even when not necessary. At least coming here helped me see the other side (that she is being a little demanding) and it kept me from responding. I don't want to end up in a negotiation with her.