Would you tell thr parents?

[Ariana]

I have a situation with a 2 year old who comes to my house 2 days a week. He comes very tired each day, rarely engages in normal play (in my professional opinion) and today he literally was lying on the ground just muttering to himself. I finally got out his pack and play and put him in it and he fell asleep instantly. My instincts told me he is tired and I was right. This was at 9am this morning. I have a feeling he is going to sleep a while because when he goes for nap at 12pm (the usual time) I have to physically wake him up at 3:30pm (he gets picked up at 4pm). I have discussed my concerns with mom but she is not concerned and keeps him up until 9-10pm at night. He is waking very early (signs of overtiredness) and then ends up sleeping the day away. Developmentally he is at a 14 month old level on all counts.

My question is, should I bother telling the parents about putting him to sleep? I just don't see the point because I don't think they really care and he is here only 2 days a week....I just don't think they are going to make any changes.

On another note, he is very easy money as you can see but I feel so bad for the little dude

[daycare]

I have about 6 kids that are just as you described. the kids are on the parents routine and sleep the same hours at the mom and dad. They go to bed at 11pm and are at my house by 730am. the kids come in and fall on their face.

I have talked to the parents about it, but they are only going to do what works for them, so i am doing the same. I have to do what works for me. so the kids go down for an hour and get up at 830 right in time to each breakfast.

they also all sleep from 1230 to 330 every day. its sad. but its obviously what they need or they wouldnt be sleeping all that time.

so I would say let the parents know once and then you just do what works for you.

what time does the child arrive?

[Blackcat31]

I have a situation with a 2 year old who comes to my house 2 days a week. He comes very tired each day, rarely engages in normal play (in my professional opinion) and today he literally was lying on the ground just muttering to himself. I finally got out his pack and play and put him in it and he fell asleep instantly. My instincts told me he is tired and I was right. This was at 9am this morning. I have a feeling he is going to sleep a while because when he goes for nap at 12pm (the usual time) I have to physically wake him up at 3:30pm (he gets picked up at 4pm). I have discussed my concerns with mom but she is not concerned and keeps him up until 9-10pm at night. He is waking very early (signs of overtiredness) and then ends up sleeping the day away. Developmentally he is at a 14 month old level on all counts.

My question is, should I bother telling the parents about putting him to sleep? I just don't see the point because I don't think they really care and he is here only 2 days a week....I just don't think they are going to make any changes.

On another note, he is very easy money as you can see but I feel so bad for the little dude

Why do you think not telling them is an issue?

[Ariana]

Why do you think not telling them is an issue?

Mostly because in the past I have always told the parent! I kind of have a moral policy to let them know everything that goes on. I feel as though I am beginning to see that in some circumstances it is not going to achieve anything. Just curious if others keep things to themselves or tell the parent everything.

@daycare he gets here at 8am. He woke up at 6am this morning. I got more sleep than him last night! My daughter, as a comparison, is 2 and goes from 7pm to 7am and sleeps around 2 hours for her nap. She is healthy, bright and outgoing. It is definitely sad. I am thinking about terming them because it is affecting my daycare and socialization of my daughter. I Keep him because he is easy money but I can only take so much! It's like taking care of a rock

[littletots]

I've also had dck sleeping the day away. I tell parents, give handout about sleep times. You communicated to parents. You can't change their parenting style. Enjoy your happy napper.

[Blackcat31]

Mostly because in the past I have always told the parent! I kind of have a moral policy to let them know everything that goes on. I feel as though I am beginning to see that in some circumstances it is not going to achieve anything. Just curious if others keep things to themselves or tell the parent everything.

I agree that parents should be in the know but honestly my approach is that if they ask, they care (or at least pretend to) and if they don't ask about their child's day/behavior they don't care....

...so if they don't care enough to ask, I don't waste my time telling them.


Especially when it comes to families you KNOW aren't going to take anything from the information you provide (i.e. change anything on their end).

[Crazy8]

I keep a daily sheet on each child so I would write it down - but if you don't do something like that I wouldn't bother mentioning it unless parent asks (I would not lie if they did ask). I tend to relay info on anything out of the ordinary during a child's day, but it sounds like you've already spoken to the parents on this issue and now you just need to do what works for you and the child.

[MyAngels]

It sounds from your post like you've already addressed this with the parent and they are not concerned, so no, I would not make a point of telling them that he is sleeping so much at your house. I would, however, try to get him on some sort of schedule at your place - maybe an hour nap in the morning, another 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon - just so you can keep some sort of a routine and he can have an opportunity to participate in at least some activities during the day.

I've had a couple of kids like this over the years. It always seems to be the families that have older sibs, and the little ones don't get put to bed until later since the older kids are up. I never got any feedback that longer napping during the day caused any issues at night, and I doubt that I ever mentioned that the little ones were sleeping more during the day than the other kids.

[Ariana]

Thank you all for your input and advice! I agree @blackcat that if they don't ask I won't volunteer the info. She rarely asks me anything except if I serve him something to eat that he won't eat at home type of thing. Apparently I am the only one that can get him to nap (have no idea why so many parents cannot get their kids to nap!)

@myangels I think getting him on a schedule is a good idea. His schedule at home is all over the place. He co-sleeps, new baby at home and just general permissive parenting all around. I will try the small nap in the morning and then regular nap at noon.

He has literally been asleep all day. I put him down at 9am, he woke briefly at 12:30 (I opened the door to the room he sleeps in to rouse him gently) but then fell back to sleep. He is still sleeping now at 2:30pm! This can't be normal!!

[Unregistered]

I agree that parents should be in the know but honestly my approach is that if they ask, they care (or at least pretend to) and if they don't ask about their child's day/behavior they don't care....

...so if they don't care enough to ask, I don't waste my time telling them.


Especially when it comes to families you KNOW aren't going to take anything from the information you provide (i.e. change anything on their end).

I used to tell parents everything. Now I only do when asked. I've slipped up a few times regretied it.