need a come back, sorry kind of long

[Thriftylady]

k up, but those were the only two things that I could do.

DCD just gave me a look like WTH. So i told him to discuss it with DCM and let me know which option they would like for me to use.

As in WTH are you talking about or as in WTH do you mean you won't cater to us? Either way I chuckled.

[daycare]

As in WTH are you talking about or as in WTH do you mean you won't cater to us? Either way I chuckled.

BOTH!!! yeah it was pretty funny, but i felt good standing strong and not backing down.

Like all of you said. It's not my issue and I am not going to take the blame for this one...

I did things on my turn, now its your turn...(talking about to the parents)

[AuntTami]

BOTH!!! yeah it was pretty funny, but i felt good standing strong and not backing down.

Like all of you said. It's not my issue and I am not going to take the blame for this one...

I did things on my turn, now its your turn...(talking about to the parents)

Exactly. You've done all YOU can do. Short of going to their house at 8:00pm each night and putting him to bed YOURSELF, you can't FORCE them to put him to bed earlier any more than you can FORCE the kid to stay awake. What they do with him at night time is THEIR choice, but you and the kiddo shouldn't have to suffer because of their choices.......

[MarinaVanessa]

Although I think that a phone call home to have the child picked up if he can't stay awake is a little much I do think that putting it back on mom and dad is a good idea. I think a conversation with both of them over this issue is the best idea. Sending home articles and information about sleep is obviously not working so I'd stop sending those home. You've already done that and it's obvious that they are ignoring your advice and don't care what you think about what time they are going to sleep at home.

Have a meeting with them to say "I know you don't want me to nap him and I haven't been, he's falling asleep on his own in the middle of an activity. I have the impression that you are thinking that I am judging your parenting and trying to tell you how to do your job but I'm not, it isn't my place. What I am trying to say is that I want to help him transition to being kindergarten ready and because you want me to not allow him to nap I'm not napping him. What I'm having trouble with is having him stay awake later during activities. I try talking to him, waking him, keeping him active and I just can't keep him awake. He still falls asleep. So I wanted to sit down with you so that you can tell me what you expect me to do when he falls asleep because waking him and giving him something to do isn't working. Other than that what would you like me to do?"

And I wouldn't worry about the school thinking it was your fault because if they change nothing then their child is going to keep falling asleep at school too. THAT will obviously be because of the time he's falling asleep at home and the teacher will say the exact same thing to the parents that you have told them.

Actually if I were you I'd be excited that school is starting soon because then it wouldn't be up to me anymore to worry about sleeping habits once school starts. I'd keep trying to keep him awake for now and if he fell asleep then he falls asleep. I wouldn't say anything about him falling asleep to the parents unless the parents asked and if they did ask I'd just say that he kept nodding off during ____ activity and that's it. I wouldn't say anything else. If he slept for 5 minutes or 2 hours my answer would still be the same "He kept nodding off during ____ activity".

[KidGrind]

thanks ladies for all of your feed back.

I love this form. I tend to get myself into a place that I know what to do but I m so mad that I can't think straight and fear Ill do or say the wrong thing.

having you guys here to validate everything makes me feel better.

I didn't respond to the text, i just left it. this morning when the dck came in, I told dcd that I can't force the child to stay awake, just like I can't force them to sleep. I did tell them that this was not my issue and that I would handle the situation here by giving the parents the choice of letting the kid lay down or calling them to pick up, but those were the only two things that I could do.

DCD just gave me a look like WTH. So i told him to discuss it with DCM and let me know which option they would like for me to use.

Like someone said, put the problem back on them.

lets hope it goes well.

I think how you handled it was perfection! You gave the parents options.

[daycare]

Although I think that a phone call home to have the child picked up if he can't stay awake is a little much I do think that putting it back on mom and dad is a good idea. I think a conversation with both of them over this issue is the best idea. Sending home articles and information about sleep is obviously not working so I'd stop sending those home. You've already done that and it's obvious that they are ignoring your advice and don't care what you think about what time they are going to sleep at home.

Have a meeting with them to say "I know you don't want me to nap him and I haven't been, he's falling asleep on his own in the middle of an activity. I have the impression that you are thinking that I am judging your parenting and trying to tell you how to do your job but I'm not, it isn't my place. What I am trying to say is that I want to help him transition to being kindergarten ready and because you want me to not allow him to nap I'm not napping him. What I'm having trouble with is having him stay awake later during activities. I try talking to him, waking him, keeping him active and I just can't keep him awake. He still falls asleep. So I wanted to sit down with you so that you can tell me what you expect me to do when he falls asleep because waking him and giving him something to do isn't working. Other than that what would you like me to do?"

And I wouldn't worry about the school thinking it was your fault because if they change nothing then their child is going to keep falling asleep at school too. THAT will obviously be because of the time he's falling asleep at home and the teacher will say the exact same thing to the parents that you have told them.

Actually if I were you I'd be excited that school is starting soon because then it wouldn't be up to me anymore to worry about sleeping habits once school starts. I'd keep trying to keep him awake for now and if he fell asleep then he falls asleep. I wouldn't say anything about him falling asleep to the parents unless the parents asked and if they did ask I'd just say that he kept nodding off during ____ activity and that's it. I wouldn't say anything else. If he slept for 5 minutes or 2 hours my answer would still be the same "He kept nodding off during ____ activity".

thanks for your feed back.

I totally get what you are saying, but this child is smart. They know how to tell time and I am always honest. The kid knows how long he slept. First thing he does when he gets up is checks the time. If he remembers, he will check the time when he falls asleep too.

I think the child will make it through the school session, but once he returns, I have no doubt that the child is going to fall on their face and we will start I don't want them napping all over again. I am not willing to lose this family, so I just decided what two options I could deal with and gave it to them.

Kind of like we do with the kids. Still our idea, but they are in control of choosing which option. I guess I am not open to saying you tell me what you want me to do, because that is giving them an open invite to tell me how to do my job and I may not be willing to do what they are asking.

By giving them options, at least I know I can handle them and again let them decide what they want to do.

As someone said, it may fix itself. With this family I can see it continuing to be an issue. I have had to call in the past to have kids picked up for unable to participate due to being overly exhausted. parents will not change what works for them and I in return will not change what works for me in my program. I guess if that is what it comes down to, then I will have no choice but to term.

UGH.

[NeedaVaca]

You already have a lot of good advice, I will just add that if his school is anything like my kids school then his parents will be getting all kind of notices about getting a good nights sleep. The Elementary school principal is even known to ask kids when they went to bed last night . They hit the parents hard and heavy in the first few weeks!