Daycare Parents Won't Let Me Sunscreen Child

[jenboo]

Ok if she has the belief that sunscreen is harmful I am betting she doesn't vacinate Her child. Why would she put chemical in her child's body and not on his skin?? I'm taking bets now .......... Who thinks Mom is lying about vaccinations?

I would term. Just too much liability.

There aren't chemical free versions of vaccinations. There are other options for sunscreen.
Pros outweigh the cons maybe??

[Unregistered]

Wow I never in all the years heard u need a permission for sun screen, maby cause wear I live its 105+ degrees everyday so if we are swimming no sunscreen is not a option here.ive never heard some one say no sunscreen I can understand if kid has sensitive skin or something or like u said dont like chemicals but there is different kind of sun block or certain clothing.we dont play ouside since to hot most time but if swimming here its a must.puting sun block u are doing your job protecting the kid from sun burn.

[Mom2Two]

Give a choice

Maybe (1) Explain nicely that this is a liability issue for you and that you do need to make sure children are protected from the sun, then (2) offer a choice that she either provide a surfshirt + sun hat or provide sunblock of her choice, and give her links to where she can buy it. Most health food stores sell the non-chem sunblocks. Just give her an address.

I always feel better when I am as nice and reasonable as possible, then I don't feel bad at all if the situation just doesn't work out.

[AngiesCareXYZ]

Could you require mom to send him in a shirt that specifically provide sun protection? My daughter's skin was sensitive as an infant, so we used Coolibar clothing (long sleeves and longalls) when we went to the beach with her before her 1st birthday, recommended by a dermatologist. I think Carters and other swim shirts now say a certain SPF, too. I do not see how you can keep him out of the sun between 10 AM and 4 PM. Seems like the parents are unrealistic.

I have a few parents that do not allow sunscreen on their children. We are outside from 9 to 12:30 every day. For those children that are not allowed to wear sunscreen, they wear long sleeve swim shirts and pants with a hat that looks like a safari hat. It covers their face, ears and neck. The children are accustomed to wearing these because that is what they have always worn.
Just remember that we are caring for someone elses child or children. We must respect their parenting style even if we do not agree with it. You say that the family is wonderful otherwise? Just make sure that they provide the adequate and appropriate clothing and head gear for outdoor play. It is hard to find parents that care so deeply about their children's overall longevity. happyface

[Blackcat31]

I have a few parents that do not allow sunscreen on their children. We are outside from 9 to 12:30 every day. For those children that are not allowed to wear sunscreen, they wear long sleeve swim shirts and pants with a hat that looks like a safari hat. It covers their face, ears and neck. The children are accustomed to wearing these because that is what they have always worn.
Just remember that we are caring for someone elses child or children. We must respect their parenting style even if we do not agree with it. You say that the family is wonderful otherwise? Just make sure that they provide the adequate and appropriate clothing and head gear for outdoor play. It is hard to find parents that care so deeply about their children's overall longevity. happyface

I dont think anyone is disrespecting someone's parenting style :confused:

I think the concern here is liability for the provider and the fact that DCM wasnt really upfront about these topics upon enrollment.

Thats kind of shady... No pun intented..

[Blackcat31]

I don't require sunscreen either but I do require the parents to apply it before coming if they want it. I agree there are so many harmful chemicals in most sunscreens. We play outside a whole bunch and I have not had anyone get a bad sunburn. If you constantly cover up with sunscreen, you're not able to get the vitamin D the sun offers which is so important to our health. That being said, it is your business and you need to be comfortable with however you run it. However, I sure would hate to lose an amazing family just over a matter of sunscreen.

This is incorrect. Dermatologists say your body still produces plenty of Vitamin D WHILE wearing sun screen and regular sun screen use is recomended for everyone as it helps prevent skin cancer.

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/sunscreen-doesnt-stop-vitamin-d-production

Personally, I'd rather have sun screen chemicals on me verses the chemicals used to fight/cure/treat cancer.

[nannyde]

I have a few parents that do not allow sunscreen on their children. We are outside from 9 to 12:30 every day. For those children that are not allowed to wear sunscreen, they wear long sleeve swim shirts and pants with a hat that looks like a safari hat. It covers their face, ears and neck. The children are accustomed to wearing these because that is what they have always worn.
Just remember that we are caring for someone elses child or children. We must respect their parenting style even if we do not agree with it. You say that the family is wonderful otherwise? Just make sure that they provide the adequate and appropriate clothing and head gear for outdoor play. It is hard to find parents that care so deeply about their children's overall longevity. happyface

Parents can't give permission to do the wrong thing. Their "parenting style" doesn't matter to me. My freedom does. My ability to raise my kid does. My nursing license does. My record free of child neglect charges does.

If the parent wants the kid in the shade during outdoor activities then they need to pay for an additional adult to supervise the kid in the shade. As long as they are willing to pay extra for their "parenting style" then we are all good.

[Leigh]

This is incorrect. Dermatologists say your body still produces plenty of Vitamin D WHILE wearing sun screen and regular sun screen use is recomended for everyone as it helps prevent skin cancer.

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/sunscreen-doesnt-stop-vitamin-d-production

Personally, I'd rather have sun screen chemicals on me verses the chemicals used to fight/cure/treat cancer.

Parents can't give permission to do the wrong thing. Their "parenting style" doesn't matter to me. My freedom does. My ability to raise my kid does. My nursing license does. My record free of child neglect charges does.

If the parent wants the kid in the shade during outdoor activities then they need to pay for an additional adult to supervise the kid in the shade. As long as they are willing to pay extra for their "parenting style" then we are all good.

I would term. DCM knew that you required sunscreen and chose to try to control your policies by not signing the form. That's enough for me right there. If you weigh pros/cons, sunscreen is MUCH better than cancer or the drugs that fight it. If you decide to keep, I'd ask for PROOF of vaccination. I require this, and require yearly updates, as well. Their word isn't enough for me.

[Febby]

In my state, you will get in trouble with licensing if a child gets sunburned while in your care and they find out. Sunscreen is obviously the preferred method by most centers, but as long as they don't get burns, state will leave you alone. My current center won't take a child unless we have sunscreen (provided by the parents) and a sunscreen permission form. No form? Your child doesn't come. No sunscreen? Your child doesn't come.

Just remember that we are caring for someone elses child or children. We must respect their parenting style even if we do not agree with it. You say that the family is wonderful otherwise? Just make sure that they provide the adequate and appropriate clothing and head gear for outdoor play. It is hard to find parents that care so deeply about their children's overall longevity. happyface

The OP is primarily asking about the liability aspect of it. There are plenty of things that parents are free to do with their kids on their time that we could never do in a day care setting because for liability reasons. Parenting style is irrelevant there. Liability (and the fact that DCM appeared to initially try to cover up her preference for no sunscreen) is relevant. And potentially problematic.

[kitykids3]

I might get some flack for this, but here goes. I personally do not think putting sunscreen on a child is a 'wrong' thing. I think everybody has their different preferences (and skin tolerances also). I live in a neighborhood that is kind of 'crunchy/natural/organic'. I have had parents that don't want sunscreen, even though I provide it and put it on before we go out. They also have the choice to bring their own. On the health history form (my state) there is space where they check yes or no to the daycare applying sunscreen, which if they choose no, then fine. They can do that. However, I let them know that sometimes we are out for up to 3 hours at a time and I can't always keep them shaded (especially on outside field trips) and if they want me to, then I am not the right fit for them. The fact that they can choose no on a state issued form gives me the impression that I would not be liable unless I was very negligent and kept them out in the sun straight for many, many hours with a uv index high enough to burn and didn't try to exercise some discernment. I don't think it's 'wrong' to respect a parent's wishes of not wanting sunscreen on their child. Some people don't burn so other than chemicals that may be another reason they don't want it.
I don't know if in your state you have regulations/forms from the state that addresses sunscreen, or if you're even regulated, but if you do and parents get the option, then go ahead and let them have that option; IF you feel comfortable with that. If not, then term. Personally I would term with the fact that it took her days to even tell you she doesn't want sunscreen. What if he had got burned in the last few days because you didn't know she wanted him shaded? I would not able to trust her, thus our business relationship would be over (especially if you have a trial period). She may very well not be honest about the shots, or other stuff in the future. I wouldn't want to take that risk after years of building my business.

[Baby Beluga]

This is incorrect. Dermatologists say your body still produces plenty of Vitamin D WHILE wearing sun screen and regular sun screen use is recomended for everyone as it helps prevent skin cancer.

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/sunscreen-doesnt-stop-vitamin-d-production

Personally, I'd rather have sun screen chemicals on me verses the chemicals used to fight/cure/treat cancer.

This X 1000. Especially since there are many numerous ways to protect the little one without chemicals.

[childcaremom]

I'd term. They knew your policies when signing up and should have been prepared to follow them.

I expect that if you allow negotiation on this, they will expect all policies to be negotiable in the future.

[Unregistered]

I understand where this parent is coming from... I dislike the idea of putting chemicals onto my child's skin too, though I realize the importance of protecting her, and as a provider myself I understand wanting to protect yourself from a potential liability. (Has anyone seen the news story lately of the children who were severly burned from playing outside at daycare? I feel like I have seen it all over the news...)

Anyways, we use a natural sunscreen. I have found it at my local "hippie" store (natural grocery). I think it is sold on Amazon too. It's Badger brand natural/organic sunscreen. The formula is the old zinc oxide formula, that makes you look white. I'm sure there are other brands too... I think Jessica Alba's Honest Company... so I'm sure there are others.

I also put my dd in a wetsuit style swim top that has 50spf UVA/UVB protection. I believe that there are other clothes (besides swim wear) that is marketed as having UVA/UVB protection. Maybe you could inform dcp of that?

This is definetitly not an issue I would term over.

As for assuming whether or not she vaccinates... I honestly feel that you cannot assume. We are very "cruchy granola" here at my house but still vaccinate on schedule. Honestly, I feel like you cannot assume these things. There has to be some level of trust, and if she put it on her form that she vaccinates, then that's what you have to go with-- imo anyway.

Maybe you feel like terming because you wonder if she is lying about her child's vaccination status or you feel she has been "sneaky" about the suncreen issue. But, I would challenge you to consider how you addressed the topic of sunscreen. The way you wrote about it, made me wonder if your appraoch has been somewhat authoritative, and if dcm felt like it was "your way or the highway". Could that have caused her difficulty in addressing the issue, if she is the type to avoid confrontation. Maybe it took some time for her to know how to address the issue. Rather than assuming that she was just being "sneaky" about the issue.
Sure, we own our own business, and we make our own rules and ultimately can do what we want to, but it is also good keep in mind the importance of partnering with parents and making them feel included, especially because they have to be away from their children all day while working; this is how we can empower parent's in the most important role that they have in life-- that is to be a parent. In my early childhood classes, the importance of nurturing the parent-provider relationship and building community within your progra was really stressed as a key peice of the pie in providing quality care for young children... as a provider now I can certainly see how much good relationships and open, respectful communication has made my job easier and more fufilling. Just my thoughts. Best regards!

[Jujube835]

Whew. There's a lot of opinions here. Im having a hard time understanding her choice, I guess. I see that a lot of other people understand her ... So this issue isn't as crazy as I thought.

I'm like a sunscreen queen, so this particular issue is grinding my gears.


Ultimately, I've decided to terminate care, effective Friday. I will tell her today at pick up. I will keep him shaded for today and tomorrow but it's a lot of work and I can't do it long term.

My decision is based on the liability of this issue, primarily. Obviously they're free to make whatever decision about sunscreen that they want.. But I'm not going to lose my license over it.

[childcaremom]

To me, this isn't about the sunscreen.

This is about parents signing up for a program knowing that it is not a good fit and then asking provider to change their program to fit the family's needs. In this case, to not allow permission to use sunscreen knowing that provider required this, and asking provider to change the programming to keep children inside at certain hours when they knew the program was outdoors most of the day.

I think you made the right decision for your program and I think this family will be happier finding a place that meets all of their needs.