Help With Reply to Ticked DCM I Just Termed

[midaycare]

I asked dcm I my screamer girl to please pick her up at 11:30. She came and said she would call me tonight. I thought okay, cool. Then while the kids were eating, I texted her a quick text with my thoughts - basically giving her warning that I really like Janie, but it's not working out, so let's not plan on tomorrow because she is in agony while here. I suggested a very small home daycare or a nanny and said let's talk in more detail tonight. I Se t the text because dcm is a teacher and has summer off, but if she has something planned for tomorrow, I want her to have the opportunity to reschedule. Because dcg can't come back.

Dcm texted back she can't believe I am texting her while I am caring for so many kids. And, by the way, did something happen here today, because they tried another sitter last week and everything went great. She is also upset I would give her any recommendations only having seen her child a few times and only having "one year of experience" myself.

While one year of experience (almost 2) is correct, I have taught, been a school counselor, and worked with kids for a long, long time...

I don't want to regret writing something to her. So, my calm minded friends ... Help!

[Thriftylady]

This may be a situation where the less you say the better since you are admittedly worked up over it. So maybe just the blurb "sorry but this is a business decision not personal, and my decision if final" would be best. Especially where she "tried someone new" anyway. I mean apparently she was already looking, she is just mad you "dumped" her first. And who knows what the other provider really had from DCG that day.

[Blackcat31]

I asked dcm I my screamer girl to please pick her up at 11:30. She came and said she would call me tonight. I thought okay, cool. Then while the kids were eating, I texted her a quick text with my thoughts - basically giving her warning that I really like Hadley, but it's not working out, so let's not plan on tomorrow because she is in agony while here. I suggested a very small home daycare or a nanny and said let's talk in more detail tonight. I Se t the text because dcm is a teacher and has summer off, but if she has something planned for tomorrow, I want her to have the opportunity to reschedule. Because dcg can't come back.

Dcm texted back she can't believe I am texting her while I am caring for so many kids. And, by the way, did something happen here today, because they tried another sitter last week and everything went great. She is also upset I would give her any recommendations only having seen her child a few times and only having "one year of experience" myself.

While one year of experience (almost 2) is correct, I have taught, been a school counselor, and worked with kids for a long, long time...

I don't want to regret writing something to her. So, my calm minded friends ... Help!

What do you think was her point in mentioning that you are texting while caring for "so many other kids" comment was about?

I bet she is trying to pin the DCG's behavior on you as those statements say "she is fine everywhere else but with you so it must be you"

I would agree with her...text her back and don't mention the texting while other kids are in care comment (that was meant to get your goat in my opinion) and tell her what she wants to hear....

Text her back and say something like "DCM, I am so glad you mentioned her behavior while with another caregiver. That only further proves to me that I am not the right program to meet her needs as I have had no luck in trying any of the techniques I've been successful with in all my years of experience working with children. I think at this point, it would be best if you found another caregiver that can better meet DCG's needs. I am so glad you were able to have that other experience as it only further supports what I was already thinking. Thanks DCM! Let me know when you want to come by and get DCG's belongings"

That's how I'd move forward.

[Blackcat31]

Oh, and contact your licensor immediately to let her know what is going down. Or daycare mom will beat you too it and start making allegations about supervision etc since you are texting while caring for kids...

[Thriftylady]

What do you think was her point in mentioning that you are texting while caring for "so many other kids" comment was about?

I bet she is trying to pin the DCG's behavior on you as those statements say "she is fine everywhere else but with you so it must be you"

I would agree with her...text her back and don't mention the texting while other kids are in care comment (that was meant to get your goat in my opinion) and tell her what she wants to hear....

Text her back and say something like "DCM, I am so glad you mentioned her behavior while with another caregiver. That only further proves to me that I am not the right program to meet her needs as I have had no luck in trying any of the techniques I've been successful with in all my years of experience working with children. I think at this point, it would be best if you found another caregiver that can better meet DCG's needs. I am so glad you were able to have that other experience as it only further supports what I was already thinking. Thanks DCM! Let me know when you want to come by and get DCG's belongings"

That's how I'd move forward.

Heh not a bad idea. You would be giving in, but you still get what you want out of it, so who cares . She can think she won if she wants, and you get your peace back.

[Play Care]

What do you think was her point in mentioning that you are texting while caring for "so many other kids" comment was about?

I bet she is trying to pin the DCG's behavior on you as those statements say "she is fine everywhere else but with you so it must be you"

I would agree with her...text her back and don't mention the texting while other kids are in care comment (that was meant to get your goat in my opinion) and tell her what she wants to hear....

Text her back and say something like "DCM, I am so glad you mentioned her behavior while with another caregiver. That only further proves to me that I am not the right program to meet her needs as I have had no luck in trying any of the techniques I've been successful with in all my years of experience working with children. I think at this point, it would be best if you found another caregiver that can better meet DCG's needs. I am so glad you were able to have that other experience as it only further supports what I was already thinking. Thanks DCM! Let me know when you want to come by and get DCG's belongings"

That's how I'd move forward.

Perfect!

[midaycare]

What do you think was her point in mentioning that you are texting while caring for "so many other kids" comment was about?

I bet she is trying to pin the DCG's behavior on you as those statements say "she is fine everywhere else but with you so it must be you"

I would agree with her...text her back and don't mention the texting while other kids are in care comment (that was meant to get your goat in my opinion) and tell her what she wants to hear....

Text her back and say something like "DCM, I am so glad you mentioned her behavior while with another caregiver. That only further proves to me that I am not the right program to meet her needs as I have had no luck in trying any of the techniques I've been successful with in all my years of experience working with children. I think at this point, it would be best if you found another caregiver that can better meet DCG's needs. I am so glad you were able to have that other experience as it only further supports what I was already thinking. Thanks DCM! Let me know when you want to come by and get DCG's belongings"

That's how I'd move forward.

But ... But ... I really want to give it to her ... I have very unprofessional things I want to say right now. If only I could say them.

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

what blackcat said.. then put down the phone and walk away.... walk. away.

[Thriftylady]

But ... But ... I really want to give it to her ... I have very unprofessional things I want to say right now. If only I could say them.

I get that, but that is also the reason not to say those things, you are just to angry and might regret it later.

[midaycare]

I did it; word for word what BC said. Except she doesn't have anything here, and dcm paid for this week & I told her not to worry about it, I would not cash the check.

[Thriftylady]

I did it; word for word what BC said. Except she doesn't have anything here, and dcm paid for this week & I told her not to worry about it, I would not cash the check.

Good! I know it ****s though. I would mail her check back.

[Play Care]

But ... But ... I really want to give it to her ... I have very unprofessional things I want to say right now. If only I could say them.

I know, but the beauty of BC's reply is that it's just soooo freaking perfect. You've made it so mom has no leg to stand on. She can't really argue back, because the she'd have to admit she's lying.
She's literally backed herself into a corner.

Had you went at her guns blazing (figuratively, of course) you would have only given her more ammunition to fire back.

I'd be really surprised if she keeps up with it - you really took the wind out of her sails::

[e.j.]

Had you went at her guns blazing (figuratively, of course) you would have only given her more ammunition to fire back.

I'd be really surprised if she keeps up with it - you really took the wind out of her sails::

Exactly!

Besides, if you really want to say those unprofessional things, you still can. Just post it here or in the Venting thread instead of sending it to her and then enjoy a calm evening and a peaceful day tomorrow!

[Blackcat31]

Exactly!

Besides, if you really want to say those unprofessional things, you still can. Just post it here or in the Venting thread instead of sending it to her and then enjoy a calm evening and a peaceful day tomorrow!

YES!! I'd like to hear them! ::

Only because it DOES feel good to get them out and it's quite therapeutic too!

[Sugar Magnolia]

I asked dcm I my screamer girl to please pick her up at 11:30. She came and said she would call me tonight. I thought okay, cool. Then while the kids were eating, I texted her a quick text with my thoughts - basically giving her warning that I really like Hadley, but it's not working out, so let's not plan on tomorrow because she is in agony while here. I suggested a very small home daycare or a nanny and said let's talk in more detail tonight. I Se t the text because dcm is a teacher and has summer off, but if she has something planned for tomorrow, I want her to have the opportunity to reschedule. Because dcg can't come back.

Dcm texted back she can't believe I am texting her while I am caring for so many kids. And, by the way, did something happen here today, because they tried another sitter last week and everything went great. She is also upset I would give her any recommendations only having seen her child a few times and only having "one year of experience" myself.

While one year of experience (almost 2) is correct, I have taught, been a school counselor, and worked with kids for a long, long time...

I don't want to regret writing something to her. So, my calm minded friends ... Help!

I know I'm late to this thread, I've been keeping up with your posts on this whole situation. What a mess, really sorry you are going through a tough term. Hugs to you.

I think I would just stop communicating with her completely at this point. Send her the check in the mail and never look back. Be calm and march on. I think you handled it fine.