Sigh...Religion

[NoMoreJuice!]

This is such a tricky situation. I run a secular daycare that participates in the usual holiday parties and such, but I never teach or preach any religion at all. The children don't even know what views I have about religion, because when they ask anything religion-related, I just reply "And what do you think?" or "And how do you feel about it?" Always try to maintain a neutral environment.

All summer I've had my friend's 6 year old boy, who attends a Lutheran private school and whose family is super religious. I've had so many talks with him about keeping his personal views to himself, but he continues to preach about Jesus to the other kids constantly (although now he chooses to do it at the pool and other times I'm not within earshot). A parent called tonight and just mentioned that it's making her uncomfortable that her daughter goes home and talks about it all the time.

It's tough because I don't want to dampen that little light of his that shines so brightly, but he has to learn sometime that not everyone agrees with his beliefs.

He's leaving after this week to vacation with his grandparents in another state, so it's not really something I'm terming over, but in the future, how do you all handle this? I don't believe in influencing kids about religion when I feel so strongly that it's their parents' right to and not mine. What are some phrases you all use to encourage political correctness?

[finsup]

This is such a tricky situation. I run a secular daycare that participates in the usual holiday parties and such, but I never teach or preach any religion at all. The children don't even know what views I have about religion, because when they ask anything religion-related, I just reply "And what do you think?" or "And how do you feel about it?" Always try to maintain a neutral environment.

All summer I've had my friend's 6 year old boy, who attends a Lutheran private school and whose family is super religious. I've had so many talks with him about keeping his personal views to himself, but he continues to preach about Jesus to the other kids constantly (although now he chooses to do it at the pool and other times I'm not within earshot). A parent called tonight and just mentioned that it's making her uncomfortable that her daughter goes home and talks about it all the time.

It's tough because I don't want to dampen that little light of his that shines so brightly, but he has to learn sometime that not everyone agrees with his beliefs.

He's leaving after this week to vacation with his grandparents in another state, so it's not really something I'm terming over, but in the future, how do you all handle this? I don't believe in influencing kids about religion when I feel so strongly that it's their parents' right to and not mine. What are some phrases you all use to encourage political correctness?

Lol I'm not one for much political correctness But I'd have to ask this parent, why does this make you uncomfortable? Doesn't that provide a great teaching experience for your child about what they believe, what others believe etc? We're a strong Christian family, would I be upset if my child came home talking about another Religion? Nope. Questions about faith don't bother me. It's not like you're the one teaching it. It's another child. Regardless of what faith the child was sharing, I would tell dcp "I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, but children here have the right to speak about their faith if it's important to them." Then encourage them to discuss their beliefs as a family.

[NoMoreJuice!]

"children here have the right to speak about their faith if it's important to them."

Do my Atheist daycare children not have rights too? To be raised free from religious indoctrination? I think this is a debate that far exceeds the stage of an early childhood classroom.

[Unregistered]

I understand where you are coming from but at the same time we live in a society where the people around us are able to express their religious beliefs without feeling ridiculed. At least we are supposed to. What you are doing to that child is wrong and if I were his parents I would pull him from your care. Would you tell a child who had two mommys he couldn't share about his home life? Would you not allow a child who wears a kippah why him and his daddy do so? How is being proud of God any different than that? It's a belief system that his family holds and is teaching him. I am not comparing anything here, just trying to help you see that what you do and believe for you family is fine, and you should respect others beliefs. You may not choose to be gay or believe in God or eat meat or be a republican or a democrat....but other people are.
There are plenty of books online that educate children on accepting those around them. Mary pope Osborn has some great books for kids on religion and the different ones found in our culture. This is America, while you have a right to believe what you want, you have no right to suffocate a child's beliefs. In the future, you should share with families your thoughts and how you handle topics that are sensitive to you. You'll find children who fit better if you go about it that way.

[spedmommy4]

I understand where you are coming from but at the same time we live in a society where the people around us are able to express their religious beliefs without feeling ridiculed. At least we are supposed to. What you are doing to that child is wrong and if I were his parents I would pull him from your care. Would you tell a child who had two mommys he couldn't share about his home life? Would you not allow a child who wears a kippah why him and his daddy do so? How is being proud of God any different than that? It's a belief system that his family holds and is teaching him. I am not comparing anything here, just trying to help you see that what you do and believe for you family is fine, and you should respect others beliefs. You may not choose to be gay or believe in God or eat meat or be a republican or a democrat....but other people are.
There are plenty of books online that educate children on accepting those around them. Mary pope Osborn has some great books for kids on religion and the different ones found in our culture. This is America, while you have a right to believe what you want, you have no right to suffocate a child's beliefs. In the future, you should share with families your thoughts and how you handle topics that are sensitive to you. You'll find children who fit better if you go about it that way.

This is called anti bias curriculum.
"Anti-bias curriculum is an approach to early childhood education that sets forth values-based principles and methodology in support of respecting and embracing differences and acting against bias and unfairness. Anti-bias teaching requires critical thinking and problem solving by both children and adults."

You tell the child (and parents of dck) that dck and his parent believe "this" and that's okay. You believe something different and that's okay. You tell the parents that you are teaching their kiddos to accept one another for the individuals that they are. It's a great thing! It is also a wonderful skill for children to learn about and accept each others differences from a young age.

Acceptance and understanding of differences from a young age helps to mold children into the compassionate adults who are kind to one another. At least, that is the goal.

Alternatively, the appropriate social skill for that situation is the same whether you are 3 or 40 years old. The child's parents could teach dck to say, I don't believe in that, can we talk about something else? But as the teacher, I wouldn't get involved unless the child expressed discomfort with the topic.

[Nisaryn]

This is called anti bias curriculum.
"Anti-bias curriculum is an approach to early childhood education that sets forth values-based principles and methodology in support of respecting and embracing differences and acting against bias and unfairness. Anti-bias teaching requires critical thinking and problem solving by both children and adults."

You tell the child (and parents of dck) that dck and his parent believe "this" and that's okay. You believe something different and that's okay. You tell the parents that you are teaching their kiddos to accept one another for the individuals that they are. It's a great thing! It is also a wonderful skill for children to learn about and accept each others differences from a young age.

Acceptance and understanding of differences from a young age helps to mold children into the compassionate adults who are kind to one another. At least, that is the goal.

Alternatively, the appropriate social skill for that situation is the same whether you are 3 or 40 years old. The child's parents could teach dck to say, I don't believe in that, can we talk about something else? But as the teacher, I wouldn't get involved unless the child expressed discomfort with the topic.

THIS! ^^^ I find that an open discussion helps a great deal. One of my families is Christian however, I am a Vajrayana Buddhist and I have Buddhist statuary and religious images in my home. They approached me about it when they first enrolled and I explained to them very firmly that "These are my beliefs but I do not preach them, nor do I even talk about them. If the children ask about my 'funny looking statues' I will tell them 'these are images of the deities I pray to' but nothing more, I see no reason to hide my beliefs but I also see no reason to expound on them. If they want to know more I tell them to ask you, their parents." they seemed to be satisfied with this and their child started that week.

[Play Care]

While I agree with spedmommy4, a lot of it would depend on exactly what he is saying.

Is he telling the other kids that Jesus loves them? Okay, fine. So doesn't Grandma and Grandpa and Mommy and Daddy - and isn't that great!

Or is he telling them that if they don't believe in Jesus they are damned to the fires of h e l l?

The former I'd let go, though gently redirect when he overdoes it. The latter would be treated more seriously.

[finsup]

I understand where you are coming from but at the same time we live in a society where the people around us are able to express their religious beliefs without feeling ridiculed. At least we are supposed to. What you are doing to that child is wrong and if I were his parents I would pull him from your care. Would you tell a child who had two mommys he couldn't share about his home life? Would you not allow a child who wears a kippah why him and his daddy do so? How is being proud of God any different than that? It's a belief system that his family holds and is teaching him. I am not comparing anything here, just trying to help you see that what you do and believe for you family is fine, and you should respect others beliefs. You may not choose to be gay or believe in God or eat meat or be a republican or a democrat....but other people are.
There are plenty of books online that educate children on accepting those around them. Mary pope Osborn has some great books for kids on religion and the different ones found in our culture. This is America, while you have a right to believe what you want, you have no right to suffocate a child's beliefs. In the future, you should share with families your thoughts and how you handle topics that are sensitive to you. You'll find children who fit better if you go about it that way.

Yes, this.

[childcaremom]

This is called anti bias curriculum.
"Anti-bias curriculum is an approach to early childhood education that sets forth values-based principles and methodology in support of respecting and embracing differences and acting against bias and unfairness. Anti-bias teaching requires critical thinking and problem solving by both children and adults."

You tell the child (and parents of dck) that dck and his parent believe "this" and that's okay. You believe something different and that's okay. You tell the parents that you are teaching their kiddos to accept one another for the individuals that they are. It's a great thing! It is also a wonderful skill for children to learn about and accept each others differences from a young age.

Acceptance and understanding of differences from a young age helps to mold children into the compassionate adults who are kind to one another. At least, that is the goal.

Alternatively, the appropriate social skill for that situation is the same whether you are 3 or 40 years old. The child's parents could teach dck to say, I don't believe in that, can we talk about something else? But as the teacher, I wouldn't get involved unless the child expressed discomfort with the topic.

But I also agree with playcare's comment.... how far is this dck going with his conversations?

It may need a little chat amongst the group of differing beliefs, yada yada, but it also may need some redirection.

[nannyde]

My guess is that he is getting a ton of attention at home for being the little preacher. He is most likely fixated on it. Even in his private Lutheran school he is not allowed to preach constantly as they do have OTHER things to do.

I would tell him to stop it. I would say "tell that to Mommy and Daddy when you get home."

The issue here isn't his religion it's his fixation on it in a place and during a time when religion isn't being discussed. He's interjecting it because he's got nuttin else to do that draws attention to him.

I've seen kids talk incessantly about cartoons, video games, Thomas the tank engine, mommy, daddy, cars, etc. For them, it's the most stimulating and exciting thing they can come up with to fill in their minute to minute. It works elsewhere to get everyone to DO them or allow them to DO their fixation so they try it at daycare.

I would beat him to the punch when he arrived and make an announcement that Joey believes Jesus loves you and he loves the bible... don't you Joey? Then that would be it for the day. If he brings it up say... Joey we already told the kids that today. Tell your mom that when you get home. NOW GO PLAY.

[NoMoreJuice!]

While I agree with spedmommy4, a lot of it would depend on exactly what he is saying.

Is he telling the other kids that Jesus loves them? Okay, fine. So doesn't Grandma and Grandpa and Mommy and Daddy - and isn't that great!

Or is he telling them that if they don't believe in Jesus they are damned to the fires of h e l l?

The former I'd let go, though gently redirect when he overdoes it. The latter would be treated more seriously.

This is the uncomfortable part that the dcm thought she needed to phone me after hours about. He is making very clear distinctions to my other kids about what behavior gets them into hell, and what behavior gets them into heaven. Dcg recognized that her family doesn't attend church, and surmised that they must all be riding the train to hell.

[Blackcat31]

While I agree with spedmommy4, a lot of it would depend on exactly what he is saying.

Is he telling the other kids that Jesus loves them? Okay, fine. So doesn't Grandma and Grandpa and Mommy and Daddy - and isn't that great!

Or is he telling them that if they don't believe in Jesus they are damned to the fires of h e l l?

The former I'd let go, though gently redirect when he overdoes it. The latter would be treated more seriously.

This^ Depending on what he is saying I would say to take Spedmommys advice, but if he is saying something a bit more over the top then it DOES need to be addressed as not okay.

Then I think it would fall under NannyDe's advice and I would treat it as a fixation. Not the subject of the fixation but the fixation of doing/saying something when it's not appropriate.

I had a little DCK that WAS telling the other kids how sad they were that they wouldn't see each other in heaven since they didn't believe in God.

As much as it IS the child's right to believe that, it's the other children's right not to have to hear it at daycare. If they went to church or VBS together then I can see having that conversation just not at daycare.

[NoMoreJuice!]

My guess is that he is getting a ton of attention at home for being the little preacher. He is most likely fixated on it. Even in his private Lutheran school he is not allowed to preach constantly as they do have OTHER things to do.

Spot on, as usual! I never thought of it as a fixation, but it definitely seems to be the only thing he's talking about. I am talking to his parents at pick up tonight, and if they don't agree to ask him to stop proselytizing, he'll have to find somewhere else to go.

[NoMoreJuice!]

As much as it IS the child's right to believe that, it's the other children's right not to have to hear it at daycare.

Exactly.

[Heidi]

Spot on, as usual! I never thought of it as a fixation, but it definitely seems to be the only thing he's talking about. I am talking to his parents at pick up tonight, and if they don't agree to ask him to stop proselytizing, he'll have to find somewhere else to go.

Please, just be careful and plan exactly what you are going to say. Religion IS a protected class. You can't terminate him for it. I would approach it more with the from the aspect of scaring the other children. Maybe they can talk to him. Stress that you are encouraging acceptance; but that he needs to learn when what's appropriate too.