Called me Mommy~ DCM upset :(

[Nisaryn]

So I have a DCB that has been here for going on two months now. He is here M-F from 5:00am to 6:00pm and I watch him every other weekend for the same hours on Sat and half a day on Sun due to his parents work schedule. DCP said that he is usually in bed by 8:00pm otherwise he has a hard time getting up in the morning (he does take two rather long naps here). When he first started he would always call me Kiki (how he says Nicky) and DCP says he is always uber excited to go to Kiki's. Recently however DCB has started calling me Mama. He will run up to me if he needs a cuddle yelling "Mama, mama!" I've tried telling him "I'm not Mama, it's Kiki" but this hasn't really worked. Today DCM came to pick him up (he just left not 10 minutes ago) and I was mortified when she came in right when he was running into my arms yelling "Mama!" after bonking his head on the bookshelf. He cried for a few minutes and then turned and went to DCM. DCMs face was just, OMG I have no words for the look she gave me. She didn't say anything and neither did I. I'm not sure how to deal with this beyond what I've been trying to do.

The only thing I can think of help ease DCM (should she broach the subject) would be that "He is here for a very long time out of the week, I feel honored that he has decided to make me his 'other' Mama."

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

Since it looks like you have young kids of your own I would play it off as he hears them calling you mama and was imitating them. I would certainly not state that he considers you his "second mama". I would say sometimes kids slip up when they are hurt. He was wanting his mama. I also would not respond to him when he calls you mama.

That is one reason that I do go by Mrs Steinel. I try to set that boundary.

[NoMoreJuice!]

DCM probably has a bad case of Mommy-guilt. If she throws any attitude about it, just let her know in professional terms that her child has formed a perfectly normal, healthy attachment and is searching for a way to name that attachment.

I've been called "mama" many times, and while I don't encourage the name, I don't discourage the attachment. Most of my daycare kids tell me they love me, and I tell them I love them right back. Love is not exclusively reserved for parents, there's more than enough love to share with the world in a child's heart!

[Thriftylady]

Tell her this is normal, kids make mistakes and kids of certain ages will call ALL female caregivers mama. It is not even about relationships or affection so much as their understanding. My DD is 17 and at the church camp she works at calls the head kitchen worker "mom" It all happened as an accident, but she answered to it quicker than she did her name and it stuck. When I was a teen I went to Sweden as an exchange student, and quickly learned to call my "home parents" Mamma and papa, they had kids my age and were not used to answering to their names in the home. That was the only way the responded . Just reassure mom that this is normal, it isn't that her child is "cheating" on her!

[stephanie]

I agree, I probably wouldn't refer to myself as his "second mama." I would say that at this age kids tend to refer to all female caregivers as "Mommy". Plus, kids tend to cry for mommy when they get hurt, no matter where they are or who they're with.

Whenever one of my dcds picks up dcb 2 yrs, dcb says "Daddy!" and goes running to greet him. Another dcb also 2 yrs (who doesn't have dad in his life) always waves and says "Hi, Daddy" because that's what his friend calls dcd. This dcb has only seen dcd a handful of times and still calls him "Daddy", . To some young kids, all women are named "Mommy" and all men are named "Daddy".

[Nisaryn]

Thanks for the advice! I 'm going to try to get him to call me Mrs. Nicky since that was what he was originally calling me.

[Controlled Chaos]

I comfort parents by telling them how my own dd (18m) calls my my first name and even teacher sometimes since she hears the other kids say it nothing like your baby calling you teacher rather than momma...little booger. It always makes parents feel better to hear that.

[jenboo]

I agree, I probably wouldn't refer to myself as his "second mama." I would say that at this age kids tend to refer to all female caregivers as "Mommy". Plus, kids tend to cry for mommy when they get hurt, no matter where they are or who they're with.

Whenever one of my dcds picks up dcb 2 yrs, dcb says "Daddy!" and goes running to greet him. Another dcb also 2 yrs (who doesn't have dad in his life) always waves and says "Hi, Daddy" because that's what his friend calls dcd. This dcb has only seen dcd a handful of times and still calls him "Daddy", . To some young kids, all women are named "Mommy" and all men are named "Daddy".

Half my dck called my husband " hubs " because that what they heard me call him.
Also, I had my niece for a while and my dad would come over. They all started called him "grandpa Jeff"

[Laurel]

Half my dck called my husband " hubs " because that what they heard me call him.
Also, I had my niece for a while and my dad would come over. They all started called him "grandpa Jeff"

My daycare kids starting calling me grandma after I had 2 of my grandchildren in care (different years as one is older). It just stuck. The parents didn't seem to mind at all. They were just copying my granddaughter and grandson really.

Before I was grandma, one did call me mama when the mom was here. The mom said don't worry about it (she must have read my face) because she felt glad that the child felt comfortable enough with me to call me that. I always said "I'm not mommy, I'm Laurel" when the child said that. Eventually he stopped.

Laurel

[rosieteddy]

All my daycare kids called me nana so did their parents.My grandson had started dc and I wanted him to know I was NANA.

[LindseyA]

All kids that care for someone, searches for an endearing name to call them. My daughters love going to one friend's house who lives with her aunt and grandmother. They all call them Grandma and Auntie my girls are 6 & 9, and they know that there is no blood relation, but there is a loving bond, so why not?

[mommyneedsadayoff]

So I have a DCB that has been here for going on two months now. He is here M-F from 5:00am to 6:00pm and I watch him every other weekend for the same hours on Sat and half a day on Sun due to his parents work schedule. DCP said that he is usually in bed by 8:00pm otherwise he has a hard time getting up in the morning (he does take two rather long naps here). When he first started he would always call me Kiki (how he says Nicky) and DCP says he is always uber excited to go to Kiki's. Recently however DCB has started calling me Mama. He will run up to me if he needs a cuddle yelling "Mama, mama!" I've tried telling him "I'm not Mama, it's Kiki" but this hasn't really worked. Today DCM came to pick him up (he just left not 10 minutes ago) and I was mortified when she came in right when he was running into my arms yelling "Mama!" after bonking his head on the bookshelf. He cried for a few minutes and then turned and went to DCM. DCMs face was just, OMG I have no words for the look she gave me. She didn't say anything and neither did I. I'm not sure how to deal with this beyond what I've been trying to do.

The only thing I can think of help ease DCM (should she broach the subject) would be that "He is here for a very long time out of the week, I feel honored that he has decided to make me his 'other' Mama."

I wouldn't say anything. It is normal. Just reiterate what you want him to call you during the day whenever you can. If he says "mam can you help me?" You say, "Yes! Ms Nicky can help you!" My kids call me steffie and so I am always saying "Bye! Steffie will see you tomorrow!" "Steffie is so proud of you", ect. My little 2 year old dcg calls me mommy and my husband daddy and our own kids call us by our first names...go figure It is no big deal and mom will realize that after awhile, as long as you make it no big deal. I don't even notice or give it attention, because it just goes with the territory!

[midaycare]

I go by Ms. _____ (my first name) and hubby is Mr. _____ (his first name). But everyone still slips up and calls me mom.

I play it off big time, even though it is completely normal and natural, and everyone is "mom" at some point in a kid's life. I say, "They hear DS say it, and they love to copy him."

On a side note, this is a very selfish reason why, when my DS was in daycare, I chose a male provider. I could not stand to hear him call another woman mama.

[Thriftylady]

I go by Ms. _____ (my first name) and hubby is Mr. _____ (his first name). But everyone still slips up and calls me mom.

I play it off big time, even though it is completely normal and natural, and everyone is "mom" at some point in a kid's life. I say, "They hear DS say it, and they love to copy him."

On a side note, this is a very selfish reason why, when my DS was in daycare, I chose a male provider. I could not stand to hear him call another woman mama.

That is what I have my kids call us, but even school age kids will sometimes say mom, it's just a habit to them.

[cheerfuldom]

I am confused why this child is with you for those hours? I cannot imagine that his parents are both working 13 hours a day plus every other weekend. Who works those kinds of hours?!?! My guess is that one or both of them could be with him for more hours but choose not to be.