Well That Didn't Go As Well As Hoped

[DaveA]

My issues with my MIL being a drama queen have been on here before. Well it flared up again. She's started up coming and setting in the living room watching us. If she would just set up here that's fine, but she won't stay out of my way. Tells kids what to do, interupps when I'm talking to them, finds little things to do to throw herself into everything. My room goes to crap when she's up here. It is like a group meltdown- "What can see all get away with?" time. After about 20 min this morning I asked her if I had an office would she set at my desk all day. When I told her she can't set up here and mess with my group, she went into full victim mode before grabbing her keys and driving off. I'm sure it will be epic tonight

She can't go volunteer at the hospital anymore. She got put in an area she didn't want to be and started complaining about chest pains. After they sent her to ER and said she was fine they told her she was done and not to come back. Anything we suggest she do (library/quilting group/senior center/etc) she says she'll go but never does. She wants to be my assistant (spelled boss in her mind) but that's not happening. I've just about had it.

Sorry for the rant. Any suggestions for making this go smoother would be appreciated.

Thanks

[Thriftylady]

Before I dare offer any suggestions I have to ask what the wife says? And is MIL living with you now? Sorry I need more data to give an informed opinion.:hug:

[Thriftylady]

Okay next question. Can you give her some little "jobs" or "errands" to help you? For instance asking her to find you a left handed coffee cup might buy you a little bit of time.

[crazydaycarelady]

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[midaycare]

My mil used to do the same thing. She didn't want to be my assistant though, yikes. I just told her I had a strict schedule and it didn't work having someone else around... She was offended but not much I can do about that. Because I work at home does not mean I don't work. I work darn hard!

[crazydaycarelady]

I know the picture is no help but I couldn't resist!

I would start having a list of things she can do as your assistant and hand it to her when she walks in. Things that keep her out of your hair like take the big kids outside or for a walk, cook lunch, change all diapers at 10:00, noon, and3:00, do a craft. After a couple of days she'll be so exhausted I bet you never see her again!

You could also tell her that if she is going to be hanging around the daycare she needs to be approved so will need her background check, her training, CPR, fingerpints, etc before she can come over. She probably won't bother so problem solved!

[Leigh]

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It IS probably the best solution!

[DaveA]

Before I dare offer any suggestions I have to ask what the wife says? And is MIL living with you now? Sorry I need more data to give an informed opinion.:hug:

She's lived with us for about a year and a half after FIL passed away. She can't live independently- not in bad shape but just enough physical and memory issues to make her living alone not possible. My wife am I are on same page- she needs to get out and do more not just to keep her off my back but for her enjoyment. She's a sweet person and great grandma to my kids, but she has no business around a daycare. Plus the whole drama thing with family is foreign to me: I admit my side of the family could best be described as "boring". I don't mind her living here but the drama stuff drives me up the wall. I never know when "hurricane sandy" is going to strike again. If it was just me I wouldn't care. The list of people who don't like me is long & illustirous so take a number. But this will affect my wife because MIL will be much more needy for a while and I hate putting her (wife) in this position. Just frustrating when there is so much she could be doing.

[Blackcat31]

My issues with my MIL being a drama queen have been on here before. Well it flared up again. She's started up coming and setting in the living room watching us. If she would just set up here that's fine, but she won't stay out of my way. Tells kids what to do, interupps when I'm talking to them, finds little things to do to throw herself into everything. My room goes to crap when she's up here. It is like a group meltdown- "What can see all get away with?" time. After about 20 min this morning I asked her if I had an office would she set at my desk all day. When I told her she can't set up here and mess with my group, she went into full victim mode before grabbing her keys and driving off. I'm sure it will be epic tonight

She can't go volunteer at the hospital anymore. She got put in an area she didn't want to be and started complaint about chest pains. After they sent her to ER and said she was fine they told her she was done and not to come back. Anything we suggest she do (library/quilting group/senior center/etc) she says she'll go but never does. She wants to be my assistant (spelled boss in her mind) but that's not happening. I've just about had it.

Sorry for the rant. Any suggestions for making this go smoother would be appreciated.

Thanks

Would reverse psychology help?

Maybe put her in charge for the day.

Make yourself scarce and give her FULL reign to do what you do....including diaper duty, conflict management, lunch/snack prep and serving and facilitating play time all the while maintaining some sort of calm and smooth harmonious flow that you normally have going on...

Make a daily schedule down to the minute and hand it to her since she wants to be in charge and tell her you'll be sitting in the office minding your own business while she handles the kids.

Maybe she'll start having some sort of "I changed my mind" pains and opt out

I dunno...just thinking outloud..

[Thriftylady]

Yeah you need to find her some things to do. Keeping her busy will help you. Maybe she can do the lunch dishes? Prepare the meals? I dunno, but if she has somewhere to put her energy maybe it will be easier for you. It must be hard. Does she have just her own room or do you have space where she has more than that?

[Play Care]

I feel your pain.
We had similar issues with my grandmother.
I almost wish we had been more forceful about getting her into activities - even if it was only senior day care. Maybe she would have had more "life" in her last years.

[midaycare]

.....

Bwah ha ha ha ha!

[mamamanda]

Okay next question. Can you give her some little "jobs" or "errands" to help you? For instance asking her to find you a left handed coffee cup might buy you a little bit of time.

::That made me laugh so hard!!!

[DaveA]

.....

::It's crossed my mind. Open concept house- she can see the classroom from the dining room and living room. Because she lives here she had to have physical, background check, etc. When she went for the physical (which I had stressed was not a job physical but just member of household) she came back with a list from the Dr of tasks she was "Approved to do in new job".

I'd put her in charge by herself for a morning but I'm worried she'd either cuss out a kid (language in front of kids is an ongoing problem) or spank one. Not to mention my DCPs would flip. If I give her a few jobs previous experience says she would probably try to take a mile for every inch I give.

Just frustrated. When I opened a daycare I didn't sign up for adult daycare services.

Thanks all

[Thriftylady]

I wish I had better advice.