Sitting at the Table

[mamamanda]

I have a 3 to dcg who comes in right at breakfast time. All of the other kids are already eating when she arrives. Mom always suggests she try to eat a little, but she never does. I tell the kids we all sit together at meal time even if we're not hungry. That way we can talk about our day. Dcg refuses to join us each morning. It seems like she truly needs a good 10-15 minutes to adjust when she gets here. She wants to explore the toys, but doesn't want anyone to talk to or bother her. Mom brought her earlier a few times, which I thought might help her adjust, but she still refuses to join us for breakfast claiming she isn't hungry. I realize I'm the adult & can make her sit at the table, but is this something you would make an issue of or just let go. She isn't causing any trouble except that the other kids want down to play as soon as they see her. I really want to insist she sit with us, but I do understand that "need my space" time in the morning. I often feel the same way :: How would you handle it?

[DaveA]

but I do understand that "need my space" time in the morning. I often feel the same way :: How would you handle it?

I would just tell the other DCKs that. "DCK just got here and needs some space by herself to settle in for a moment. You can play with her in a bit. Right now you take care of you and stay at the table for breakfast."

[Blackcat31]

I have a 3 to dcg who comes in right at breakfast time. All of the other kids are already eating when she arrives. Mom always suggests she try to eat a little, but she never does. I tell the kids we all sit together at meal time even if we're not hungry. That way we can talk about our day. Dcg refuses to join us each morning. It seems like she truly needs a good 10-15 minutes to adjust when she gets here. She wants to explore the toys, but doesn't want anyone to talk to or bother her. Mom brought her earlier a few times, which I thought might help her adjust, but she still refuses to join us for breakfast claiming she isn't hungry. I realize I'm the adult & can make her sit at the table, but is this something you would make an issue of or just let go. She isn't causing any trouble except that the other kids want down to play as soon as they see her. I really want to insist she sit with us, but I do understand that "need my space" time in the morning. I often feel the same way :: How would you handle it?

I wouldn't force her to sit at all but I wouldn't allow her to go play toys especially since it's a distraction for the others.

If she doesn't want to sit and eat, then she can sit and wait.

That's how I'd handle it.

Does she sit without issue at lunch and snack?

If so, it's definitely her need to "adjust" when arriving but I still don't think she should be able to explore/play. She needs to sit and wait for the others to finish up so that the entire group can move onto the next activity together.

[rosieteddy]

I agree with Blackcat.She should sit and wait ,maybe a book or puzzle at the table.This is exactly why I stopped breakfast on arrival for everyone years ago. I told all clients that everyone should eat breakfast at home before daycare.Then I served breakfast snack at 9;30 toast fruit and milk for example.This stopped the waste of a lot of food(from those handed a snack in the car.

[mamamanda]

I wouldn't force her to sit at all but I wouldn't allow her to go play toys especially since it's a distraction for the others.

If she doesn't want to sit and eat, then she can sit and wait.

That's how I'd handle it.

Does she sit without issue at lunch and snack?

If so, it's definitely her need to "adjust" when arriving but I still don't think she should be able to explore/play. She needs to sit and wait for the others to finish up so that the entire group can move onto the next activity together.

She does excellent at lunch. Snack is a bit of a struggle, but again I really think her personality needs time to adjust as she's just waking up from nap. I like the sit and wait idea. I've been thinking of putting out a blanket with a basket of books on it at meal times so kids can be excused to the book blanket instead of excused straight to toys. She could go straight there instead of joining at the table upon arrival.

[mamamanda]

I agree with Blackcat.She should sit and wait ,maybe a book or puzzle at the table.This is exactly why I stopped breakfast on arrival for everyone years ago. I told all clients that everyone should eat breakfast at home before daycare.Then I served breakfast snack at 9;30 toast fruit and milk for example.This stopped the waste of a lot of food(from those handed a snack in the car.

I wonder a lot about the timing of breakfast, but don't know how to fix it. One kid comes at 6:30 and we eat a breakfast/snack at 7:00, but all of my other families arrive between 9 & 9:30. If I don't serve breakfast at 9:00 they never make it to lunch, but if I serve a morning snack instead a little later then they're not hungry for lunch. I tried moving lunch up, but then they wake up complaining they are hungry in the middle of nap. I can't win. haha

[rosieteddy]

Tell everyone to eat breakfast at home..Even the 6:30 child unless its easier for you to feed them on arrival say before 7:00. Then start snack at 9:00 everyone sits for meal.Then have lunch at your usual time.Make the least amount of food to be eligible for meal.I was amazed at how little a serving size was for toddlers. Problem child should arrive before sit down so there is no argueing.Lunch start with serving size then add extra if needed.

[Blackcat31]

I wonder a lot about the timing of breakfast, but don't know how to fix it. One kid comes at 6:30 and we eat a breakfast/snack at 7:00, but all of my other families arrive between 9 & 9:30. If I don't serve breakfast at 9:00 they never make it to lunch, but if I serve a morning snack instead a little later then they're not hungry for lunch. I tried moving lunch up, but then they wake up complaining they are hungry in the middle of nap. I can't win. haha

I require ALL children to eat breakfast at home before arriving.

For some that is merely a granola bar and a glass of milk, for others it's an entire breakfast of eggs, sausage and toast..... just depends on the family but I do NOT feed anyone until 9:00.

At 9:00 we eat "breakfast" here. According to the food program, it is breakfast as it contains all the required components that make up breakfast but to parents I just call it morning snack. I make sure to let them know that it's their responsibility to feed their child however much food they require until 9:00 (for some kids this is a lot and for others it's not much).

After everyone has arrived, we all sit and eat.

That was the only way I cold manage arrival times AND feeding kids.
My early arrivers wanted to eat again when the late arrivers showed up and doing all that while trying to welcome kids in the door and making chit chat with the parents was just way too much going on at one time....

Changing up the time that I serve breakfast/snack fixed it all.

Easy peasy!

[Alwaysgreener]

I require ALL children to eat breakfast at home before arriving.

For some that is merely a granola bar and a glass of milk, for others it's an entire breakfast of eggs, sausage and toast..... just depends on the family but I do NOT feed anyone until 9:00.

At 9:00 we eat "breakfast" here. According to the food program, it is breakfast as it contains all the required components that make up breakfast but to parents I just call it morning snack. I make sure to let them know that it's their responsibility to feed their child however much food they require until 9:00 (for some kids this is a lot and for others it's not much).

After everyone has arrived, we all sit and eat.

That was the only way I cold manage arrival times AND feeding kids.
My early arrivers wanted to eat again when the late arrivers showed up and doing all that while trying to welcome kids in the door and making chit chat with the parents was just way too much going on at one time....

Changing up the time that I serve breakfast/snack fixed it all.

Easy peasy!

I do this too
Both family arrive at 8. Family A eats before they come. The kids have been asked for a while. Family B wakes and dress dcb just before they head out. My dd wakes between 7:30 and 8:30. I serve a "food pragram approved breakfast" at 9 but kids call it a snack.