Table Manners

[Blackcat31]

How does everyone do lunches? At what age do you expect a child to exhibit table manners? I have several children who are over 3 that have zero table manners. Food falling out of their mouths, turning around in their chairs, chewing with their mouths open and talking with food in mouth. Also, one dcb age 3.5 stuffs his mouth completely full and struggles to chew without gagging! YUCK! (yes, everything is in little bite size pieces) Another, fills his mouth and then 1/2 way through decides it is too much and spits it out onto his plate!! Normally the young ones who are learning don't really bother me but for some reason this group of 3-5 year olds are disgusting. The oldest one (he is Kindergarten, but doesnt go every day) tells me he eats at home on a TV tray in front of the TV and that his family doesn't even have a table! He eats in the car 90% of the time and mom is a parent who either buys fast food or makes individual meals according to what each child likes! She tell sme that no one in her house likes veggies so they don't make them...ever! NOT one single kind!! NONE! Her youngest (the kindergartener I have) has never even seen veggies except for here, which he skips every time. I am just at a loss as to how to teach these guys some table manners when obviously NONE of these kids get any type of role modeling at home in this area.
I'm thinking it is starting to be a great diet for me because I am so grossed out by the table manners and such that I lose my appetite everyday at lunch.

[boysx5]

most of mine do okay I do have ones who are allowed to cruise eat at home but I don't allow that after a few weeks of struggling I can say they all stay in their sits they learned that once they turned around in their chairs or got up their plate of food was gone. I just cannot stand food all over the floor and a big mess all over the floor

[LaLa714]

It drives me nutso to see kids act that way at the table! I think they should know as early as 2 years old how to act when they are eating. My kids sit at the table and eat. They only talk if they have no food in their mouth and they have made progress with their meal. Of course they may ask me questions and such but they eat at the table and nothing else. I have a four year old here who constantly wants to play and talk and try to get my kids to do the same. It's amazing how some parents choose not to parent. I also send home a note everyday about what we did. Any concerns I may have are written down and the parent calls me if they wish. I try to make sure we are all on the same page when it comes to everything.

[tenderhearts]

All of my kids 2 & up are expected to use table manners. Sit nicely at the table, feet in front of them, no leaning to their neighbor, no talking with mouths full, no singing at the table, they have to ask to be excused from the table. If they can't seem to stop turning around in their chairs they are warned they will be pushed in towards the table closer which keeps them from being able to turn much in their chair. Most of my kids with little reminders here and there learn quickly and I have no problems. I have had many parents compliment me on how they like their kids asking to be excused from the table at home.

[kendallina]

I do similar to tenderhearts minus the asking to be excused. They need to sit properly in their chair with feet on the floor, no turning around everywhere or doing too much besides eating and chatting with me and the other kids. I find they act WAYYY better when I am sitting with them and we're all talking about something. They love it and I that's when we all have some of our best conversations (2-3 yr olds).

If they aren't listening to the rules, they get a warning, something like, "you need to sit with your feet under the table or that tells me you're done". That usually stops it pretty quickly. I have told children to clean up when they keep up the inappropriate behavior. I really don't have too many problems, though.

[kitkat]

All of my kids 2 & up are expected to use table manners. Sit nicely at the table, feet in front of them, no leaning to their neighbor, no talking with mouths full, no singing at the table, they have to ask to be excused from the table. If they can't seem to stop turning around in their chairs they are warned they will be pushed in towards the table closer which keeps them from being able to turn much in their chair. Most of my kids with little reminders here and there learn quickly and I have no problems. I have had many parents compliment me on how they like their kids asking to be excused from the table at home.

Same here. I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one that doesn't allow singing or humming at the table! If the older kids can't sit nicely, then their chair gets taken away and they can stand and eat at the table (this of course is after a few reminders). They get the chair back for the next time we eat and these are like 4 year olds and up and clearly know better. If poor behavior continues, then they are done eating and have to sit and look at a book while everyone else finishes up.

As far as chewing with their mouth open...it's one of my biggest pet peeves! I can't stand the sound. When I notice it, I give reminders and after so many reminders, they don't get a stamp after snack/lunch. It takes a bit, but they get it. I think parents get so tuned out to it that they don't notice. I don't know how they can tune it out or why

[Blackcat31]

Same here. I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one that doesn't allow singing or humming at the table! If the older kids can't sit nicely, then their chair gets taken away and they can stand and eat at the table (this of course is after a few reminders). They get the chair back for the next time we eat and these are like 4 year olds and up and clearly know better. If poor behavior continues, then they are done eating and have to sit and look at a book while everyone else finishes up.

As far as chewing with their mouth open...it's one of my biggest pet peeves! I can't stand the sound. When I notice it, I give reminders and after so many reminders, they don't get a stamp after snack/lunch. It takes a bit, but they get it. I think parents get so tuned out to it that they don't notice. I don't know how they can tune it out or why

Besides actually showing them, I wonder how we can teach them to chew with their mouth closed...I have two 3.5 yr old boys who are hilarious when they try to do it that they can hardly chew at all...I shouldnt laugh but it is getting rediculous and I don't know any tricks or tips that work...cuz showing them just ain't workin so good ya know.

[kitkat]

Besides actually showing them, I wonder how we can teach them to chew with their mouth closed...I have two 3.5 yr old boys who are hilarious when they try to do it that they can hardly chew at all...I shouldnt laugh but it is getting rediculous and I don't know any tricks or tips that work...cuz showing them just ain't workin so good ya know.

With my kids, I've talked about how animals (especially cows) chew with their mouth open and how we aren't animals, we are boys/girls. Boys/girls chew with their mouth closed. I'll over exaggerate how a cow chews, they'll think it's funny, and then I'll show them the right way for boys/girls to chew. Yes, it gets redundant and takes a while, but they do eventually get it. After about a week of solid reminders, then I do 3 warnings. If they get 3 warnings/reminders per snack/lunch, then they don't get a stamp. They actually start policing each other (as if I can't hear/see the other kid chewing with their mouth open). For the younger ones (2-3), you can try limiting the amount of food on their plate to help them avoid shoving food in their mouth. At one point I seriously had to put one bite size piece of food at a time on dcg's plate because she kept shoving it in. She'll still do that at times, but then I make her take the big piece out and take small bites of it. The best advice is to stay on top of it, be consistent, and reward the good manners. Yes, you'll sound like a broken record, but it'll work, eventually