Odd Eating Skills/Habits (almost 4 yr old)

[mommiebookworm]

I have a dcg, who will be 4 years old on Oct 1st. She has really odd eating habits. I can't figure out if it's a lack of manners, trying to get more attention, or poor skills. These are the things she does:
-lets food run down her chin, and doesn't wipe it
-puts her face to her plate and shovels the food in
-drinks her entire drink without stopping, even letting it run down her face and onto her shirt
-will eat all of one thing, then move on to the next item, always cleaning her plate
-will eat something she doesn't like, and choke it down, even to the point where she has gagged/vomited
-holds her utensils in her fist with her palm facing upwards
-****s on her food (example: she will hold the food to her lips and **** on it, as it softens or breaks down, she will put more in her mouth)
-She has never told me that she doesn't like something
-Doesn't talk, even when the other kids are all talking
She really grosses me out sometimes. She reminds me of someone that has been forced to sit at the table and eat all her food before she can get up. I repeatedly tell her, use your napkin, take one drink then set your cup down, tell me if you don't like it, no ****ing on your food. It seems like I'm not getting through to her.
Any suggestions?

[laundrymom]

I would begin making her two plates/cups. A few sips of milk and a couple small bites at a time on her plate. Then refil as needed. Maybe she's intimidated by the amount?

[Indoorvoice]

Has her parents said anything about it?

I had a dcg3 almost exactly like this. She was given a very limited diet at home. Chicken nuggets, pancakes, rice, any kind of fruit, was basically all she would eat at home. Her parents said she wouldn't eat anything else. At my house she would eat anything and everything, even foods that made her gag and she had terrible habits like you described . I never forced her to eat, so I approached the parents about it and they were so surprised. I encouraged a Dr visit, but they never did and she left for preschool before I ever figured out what to do about it. Small amounts of food didn't help - just made her eat even more weird. I hope you figure something out!

[Leigh]

The only suggestion that I can give is to sit with her when she eats. Kids like this are usually kids whose parents don't sit down with them to eat. Manners can be taught, but are best modeled. You can sit by her and remind her about manners. Most all of my foster kids were raised on fast food and instant food and honestly eat like pigs when they show up at my home. They quickly learn manners because they start to follow the other kids and my husband and I.

[AmyKidsCo]

I wonder if food was withheld and now she's afraid it'll be taken away if she doesn't eat it fast enough, or doesn't eat it all, even if she doesn't like it???

Personally, I tend to eat one food at a time unless I make a conscious effort to mix it up, so that doesn't sound too weird to me.

Maybe if you reassure her that there's no hurry, she can take her time to eat and there will be more if she wants it?

[cheerfuldom]

are there other behavioral issues with her or is it just mealtime only

[mommiebookworm]

I tend to think that her parents don't eat with her, and she probably eats the same thing all the time. Another behavioral issue is that she doesn't really listen. For example, I don't allow standing on the swings. Every day I have to remind her that she can't stand on the swings. Every single day. Sometimes several times.
She is sort of in her own world. I think she does whatever she wants to at home.

[mamamanda]

Sounds like my dcg who has sensory issues & a few developmental delays. Can you suggest the parents have her evaluated? I also only give a tiny bit of milk at a time. I refill cups often. It cuts down on waste & spills.

[mommiebookworm]

I just need to work up the courage to suggest that they have her evaluated.

[Blackcat31]

I just need to work up the courage to suggest that they have her evaluated.

Does your area do preschool aged screenings for kids 3 and up?

Our school district requires all children between 3-5 have a preschool screening done before enrolling in school. They suggest 3-3.5 being the target age.

Most the time issues in development are caught then.

Otherwise, I would just casually ask the parents what their routine is (or isn't) with meals at home. Do they eat together? Do they eat at the table, in front of the TV, in the car etc?

Tell them you are doing a unit on table manners and meal time behaviors and you want to gather info about each child/family so you are prepared for the week.

It might not be a bad idea to actually do a week long unit on that very subject.

As for the standing on swings. After I've told someone something, they immediately lose their privileges for the remainder of the week on the second reminder.

If she does it every Monday, I would tell her she maybe isn't ready to use the swings yet and she is no longer allowed until further notice.....then YOU decide when she's ready again. It's a safety issue and I don't mess around when it comes to safety.

[mommiebookworm]

Yes Blackcat, our Preschool does do evaluations. I will get that info for Mom. In our school district they are not required.
And, I just found some activities on Pinterest for a unit on table manners. Thanks for the ideas!